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“What?” she said, her voice pitching high.
“I don’t know what to do about it. I think…” The look on Quincy’s face before she’d left my house was burned into my mind. “Pretty sure I screwed everything up.”
She studied me. “You might have to do some groveling to get her back.”
“Groveling how?” I asked, my shoulders sagging more.
“Pay close attention,” she said, pulling her legs up on the love seat and getting comfortable. “You’ll need to know this for the romance arc in our book anyway, so take notes. You’re about to put your heart on the line.”
CHAPTER33
QUINCY
Iwas more than ready for Thanksgiving to be over.
Unfortunately the annual Dragonfly Lake holiday tree-lighting ceremony was starting in a few minutes, and our family never missed it, so I was stuck.
“You hangin’ in?” my brother Ryan asked me privately, our winter coats rustling against each other as he sat next to me on the stone landscaping border. This had been our regular spot for this event since I was in single digits, first with my mom and now with Cynthia and our younger siblings.
To convince him, I wound my arm through his, smiled, and said, “Yeah. Mulled wine’s my new favorite.”
He held his paper cup of the same up for a clinkless toast, and we both took a drink of the spiced beverage.
Normally I loved this event. I still had memories of the four of us—my mom, my dad, Ryan, and me—making our own cocoa, pouring it into a large thermos, and taking it to the town square.
These days, there were local vendors who sold cocoa, coffee, hot toddies, hot buttered rum, mulled wine, and more to drink, plus candied apples, fudge, popcorn, and other sweets. The treats alone were enough to lure even a recluse out of the house.
I’d had no appetite for three days, so the treats weren’t a factor this year. In fact, I’d considered begging off and heading to my apartment, knowing my roomies would be here on the square along with the rest of the town, and I’d have the place to myself. My family would have none of that though. Between Molly’s over-the-top excitement, Cynthia’s concerned gaze on me, and Ryan’s determination to keep my mood up, there would be too many questions if I didn’t participate.
The day hadn’t been a bad one. There were admittedly a lot of positives.
Instead of attempting to cook a feast as Cynthia and I normally did—and knocking skulls repeatedly as we shared the kitchen—she and I had agreed to order a precooked dinner from Country Market. Best decision ever. The food was good, the convenience was priceless, and the admission that neither of us was up for being Rachael Ray—or Reba Yates—at the holidays was sanity saving.
After the meal, when the three youngest had left the table, I’d broken my news to Ryan, Cynthia, and my dad. Well, some of my news—that I’d decided not to go to school, after all. Though my dad tried to be supportive and positive, I could tell he was disappointed—again. I was surer than ever it was the right move for me, so I’d sat up taller and explained my plans to become a nanny. Ryan had volunteered to help me set up my official business in the coming weeks, and my dad had started to come around and support the idea.
Later, as Cynthia and I had washed dishes while everyone else watched a football game, I’d stepped out of my comfort zone in the spirit of our new agreement and confided about the personal aspects of leaving my job for Knox. I’d been stunned when she was sympathetic and even disappointed on my behalf.
Baby steps, right?
I had to admit it felt good. So much better than bickering or veiled barbs.
In spite of my supportive family, as the square filled up around the live tree whose branches were laden with large, colorful balls and bows, the physical ache in my chest tightened.
Three days had passed since I’d seen Knox or Juniper. I was staggering from the two separate losses, plus a third one—the future I’d I wanted more than anything. One day, I hoped like hell I’d get it through my head that choosing a future that relied on another person never worked out for me.
As I blindly looked out at the crowd, my thoughts veered to Knox and Junie. Without making a conscious decision, I realized I was scanning the crowd, looking for them. I doubted they were here though. Juniper’s bedtime was soon, and it was cold. She was too young to remember this. Knox would likely stay in tonight, and her tree lighting debut would be next year, when she was one.
I slammed my eyes shut on the pain that thought brought. She’d be one, likely walking, maybe starting to talk, and I’d have missed out on twelve months of her life. More than half of it.
“I’m…I think I’m gonna go home—”
Ryan squeezed me to his side and kept his big-brother arm there before I could finish the sentence. “Stay with me. Please? It’s starting soon. Look.”
Mayor Constantine and some of the event organizers were buzzing around in the gazebo where the mic was set up. High-school band members were taking their places between the gazebo and the forty-foot-tall, decked-out pine tree.
Ryan was still watching me, giving me a weird look as if the stakes were high instead of just the average small-town tree-lighting ceremony. I checked his cup to see if maybe he had more than a mulled wine in there, but it looked just like mine and was still half-full.
Brayden came bouncing over to us, his eyes sparkling with holiday joy I envied. I forced a smile and extended my arm for a hug.
