AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He broke me. Hurt me.
But my love still holds tight to him.
"My father has decided I need to attend Sunday dinner after threatening to tell my club brothers - my family that I hit his wife growing up if I don't show; he's threatening my patch, my home, and my family all for his wife, my abuser."
My anger intensified, and his wrongdoings were pushed aside.
He threatened his own son with his family. Are you fucking kidding me? He clears his throat. "I think it's about time. I told them some home truths, and I know I fucked up. Believe me, I know I'm paying for my mistake every day because I fucking miss you more than life itself, but I fucking need you, Precious. I really need you at this dinner. I've spent years purposely locking myself in the storage cupboard she graced me with as my room to stay away from them. I've never had a family meal there unless a brother came round; she ensured I was hardly ever fed, but this dinner, I need you; you are my anchor, Mel."
My anger consumes me for what he had to go through—for what his own family allowed him to go through.
I look into his eyes; they plead with me to do this.
Can I do this for the man I love?
Can I have dinner with his family and him after he cheated?
After he tore my heart out?
I know he messed up, but what's stopping him from doing it repeatedly? My mind is spinning. Questions run wild as my heart tugs at him, wanting to shield him from the pain he's fought all his life.
Fuck.
"Please, Precious, I can't do this without you." He rasps. He opens his arms wide, his abs tightening. "This is me. The scars and all. You're the only one I've ever allowed to see me like this and touch me. You're the only one whose touch doesn't burn. I know I fucked up, baby, I know, but I'm not giving up on us. Me and you, we're meant to be, and I'll spend the rest of my fucking life making up for the pain I caused."
My heart skips a beat, and I want to believe him; I do so much, but what's stopping him from doing it again? I know he's tried to show me how much he wants me and how sorry he is; he came to the hospital a lot before Cassidy decided to try and come on to him, so instead, he'd sit outside of my flat every single day after leaving a rose on my doorstep. I know he wants us, but seeing that woman on her knees for this man who has become my everything broke me. He says he loves me, yet he lets someone else touch him.
That's not love.
He steps the last little bit towards me and grips my cheeks with both his hands when he sees me struggling. "I know you're not ready yet, Mel, and I won't rush you. I know I need to earn your trust again, but I need you, baby. I can't do this without you. She'll deny everything, and my father will follow her. Please, Precious."
I swallow as some tears fall, and he wipes them away with his thumbs. The pain in his eyes is killing me, as are the scars on his body. I shake my head, and he sighs, dropping his head, his hands falling limp at his side, before I squeeze my eyes shut, making more tears fall, hoping I'm not making a mistake.
"Okay."
It's all I can say in a rasp; my gut is telling me to do it, but my heart wants to protect itself from the pain he tore through me. I understand he has needs, but to do that to me? He should have just ended things if he couldn't wait until I was ready, and if he was having a bad day, he should have gone to the gym. I know he doesn't know I have zero experience with men, but he didn't respect me, which I'm struggling with.
After what my mother put me through growing up, trust was hard for me, and he broke it.
His head shoots up, and relief instantly takes over his face before he takes me into his arms. I wrap my arms around his waist, feeling all of his scars, making some more tears fall. I take a second, just one second, to hold him because, God, do I miss him so much before I pull back and wipe my tears.
"This doesn't mean anything, though, Dagger."
I say it more for myself, to remind myself of what he did. I can't go there with him again. I won't be made a fool. I just won't.
He drops his head again but nods. "I'm not giving up on us, Mel; I won't. I need you like I need air; I'll gain your trust again, and I won't take it for granted; you are mine. I'll pick you up on Sunday before dinner at 6." He kisses my head, lingering before putting his shirt and vest back on before kissing my head one more time, then leaves, but not before rasping on his way out, "I love you, baby." My tears fall again while I whisper back when the curtain shuts, "Not as much as I love you." I don't know how long I stood before the curtain opened and Meghan rushed in. She sees my face and instantly wraps her arms around me, and I sob.
She pulls back and wipes my cheeks. "What did he want?"
I sniffle. "He won't give up on us; he wants what we had back, but I don't know how to trust him again. He says he loves me, but how can you cheat on someone you love?" I sniffled again. "He wants my help on Sunday. The pain in his eyes." I shake my head. "What he was put through, I said yes; I couldn't turn him away."
She nods, her eyes showing concern but also understanding. I wouldn't say yes to going unless it was serious. She knows how much I love him and how I'm bonded to him, but she also knows how much he freaking hurt me. How do you get over the person you want to spend your life with cheating on you?
Haven't I had enough bad karma growing up?
"Maybe, maybe take it one day at a time? He hasn't been with anyone else; we both know he spends most of his time trying to get you to talk to him, and I know he deserves a swift kick in the balls for what he did, but he hasn't givenup, Mel. And I know how much you miss him. One day at a time, and your trust might return in him.
I nod as Meghan brings me back out of my head and the questions that continue to go around, and I hug her tightly. She's right; I know she is, but does that make me a pushover? And would he do it again? I'm brought back out of my head again when Cassidy walks in, and I try—I really freaking do—but my eye rolls. The woman's a fucking menace, and the only reason she still has a job is because of who she sleeps with on the board. She's staring at me with a scowl, but I just shake my head and walk past her, with Meghan following before she grabs my arm, making me stop.
