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What if he doesn't come back home to me?
One month later
I smile at Meghan and Lilah again before heading into my flat. They've spent the day trying to get me out of my own head, and I must admit, it worked for a little while. Between my mother's trial, where she got sent down for 15 years without bail, and Travis's being gone, I've struggled. It helps that Lilah is the funniest kid going, and she's not scared to tell you what's on her mind.
We were at the zoo when some man walked up to her and asked what she loved most about the animals, and her answer was, 'Well, not your breath, that's for sure.'
Meghan apologized profusely to the man whose face had gone bright red with anger and humiliation while I tried not to pee myself from the laughter that wanted to escape. Once he'd stormed off, basically calling Meghan out for not teaching her daughter some manners, my laughter came out because Meghan was trying to be stern with Lilah. Still, you could see her trying not to smile herself while all Lilah did was shrug. And when she then decided to point out stranger danger with the man, not even Meghan could hide her laughter or the few parents that were around us.
I shake my head. That girl is awesome.
I smile a little as I open my door, grateful for having such a great friend. Bella greets me, and I grin wide, picking her up as she whines and yips, "Hey, beautiful girl, you missed me today, did you?" She nips at my chin and then licks me, causing me to grin wider before I head to my bed on the other side of the room. I plop her on the bed and quickly get into one of Travis's shirts and my sweatpants before joining her. She lays her head on my lap as I check my phone for the hundredth time today. Since he left, Travis has tried to leave me voicemails.
Every time he rings, I'm asleep or on shift.
I know he's not purposely missing me.
Every time he gets my voicemail, you can hear the devastation in his voice. I haven't rung back; I don't want to distract him more than he probably is, but these voicemails also help me feel close to him. They help me hear the longingin his voice, making me believe we can have what we did back—maybe something even stronger because, shit, do I miss that man, and so does Bella.
I feel like I'm missing a part of my soul, which helped my decision to hope to try again. However, if he ever touches another woman intimately again, I'll chop his dick off!
Sighing, I sit back against the black rail headboard that I found at a thrift store for a steal before grabbing my phone from beside me and calling my voicemail. I put the phone on speaker so Bella could hear his voice. We do this every day. We listen to all his voicemails just so we can get a bit of him here with us, and so far, we have at least 14. Some days, he can't ring; he explains it as radio silence and tells me not to worry, but I still do, and I think I always will.
My voicemail beeps, his voice comes through, and I smile instantly.
"Hey, precious. Fuck, I wish I was with you right now; then you wouldn't have to find out through someone else."
Bella's ears twitch, and she sits up, looking at my phone, while I smile sadly as worry enters me because he hasn't rung today. He sighs, and I picture him running his fingers through his hair.
"I've been called back to duty, baby; they need me, and I promised to always be there for my team. It's a promise I can't break, even though I wanted to, because the thought of leaving you tears me apart, Mel. I'll hopefully only be gone for a couple of weeks, but I'll keep you updated.
Please, just don't give up on me or on us.
I love you, Melanie."
I wipe away a tear as my phone beeps and the next message starts.
"Hey, baby. I've finally landed. I know you are probably asleep now, but I'm at my destination. I'll call again tomorrow when I can. I miss you, Precious. I love you."
The phone beeps again, and I look at Bella and smile. I rub her head as Travis's voice comes over the phone again. He sighs.
"Hey, Precious, I caught your voicemail again, fuck. Things are much more difficult here than I first thought, so it may be longer. I'm sorry, baby; I'll keep you updated."
I hear someone shout 'Sniper' in the background,
"I've got to go, Precious; I love you."
I sigh as the phone beeps again while Bella whines. My tears start to well in my eyes again with his next message, and guilt at not trying to work things out beforehand hits me hard. I know what he did was wrong, but maybe I should have kneeled him in the balls instead of putting us both through this misery.
"Fuck Mel. I need to hear your voice."
He sniffles, and my tears fall.
"We lost our informant today; he was killed. He was like a brother to me; he took me under his wing. Marshall would have kicked my ass for what I did to you, and now he won't get the chance. Fuck baby, I need you."
The phone cuts off, and I sniffle, feeling his pain and loss.
Fear for what may happen to him intensifies.
