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Is this what this is?
Am I someone to pass the time until something better comes, or was I just a challenge for him?
I start to feel sick, and pain shoots through me that this man, a man I've fallen for hard, is close to being in love with if I'm not already, maybe using me.
He must see my mind doing overtime with questions, the main one being, Am I a fucking idiot? Because he grips my cheeks with his hands and his eyes are serious, "Pixie, get those thoughts out of your mind. I forgot that was it. I thought I'd told you. I'm in this with you; I swear to fuck I am. Your it for me, baby."
His eyes show sincerity, but a part of me—a small part—believes he still thinks I'm a cheating whore who can't be trusted. I mean, why else have I not met his family?
Why else has he not let me into his heart?
He sighs and shakes his head before leaning forward, kissing me gently, but I don't return it, my mind still spinning with question after question. He sighs again. "Let's watch a movie, yeah, Soph? We can talk about this tomorrow."
I furrow my brows; he's just shoving them under the rug like I wouldn't question why he doesn't trust me, but I nod before he lays down across the sofa, taking me with him and making me lie on his chest. He grabs the remote before finding something to watch while I let my mind run in circles. I can feel myself pulling away from him emotionally, and I don't think I can stop it because this is my mind and body's way of protecting itself from the hurt that's inevitable.
The next day, I'm in the shower when the door opens, and Jackson climbs in behind me.
He wraps his arms around me, kissing the back of my neck.
"I don't like waking up without you in my arms, Pixie."
I hum.
I did sneak off on him. We fell asleep during a movie last night, and I woke up in the same place I fell asleep, my whole body lying on top of his with my face in the crook of his neck.
He sighs, "Please don't pull away from me, Soph; I fucked up. I know I did, but it's an honest mistake. I thought I told you about Dagger. I'm sorry."
I nod, "But you also didn't let Phoebe know your seeing someone. I don't even know your favorite color." I can't hide the break in my voice, and he holds me tighter, his naked body molding to mine before rasping in my ear.
"My favorite color is dark green; I love pizza but can't stand sushi; I love summer days on my bike but really look forward to winter evenings with you in my arms. Drawing is my passion, which started because my mother is a neat freak and would only allow the color white. Everything growing up, apart from my room and Daggers, was white. I love dogs, especially Diamond, because she brought me closer to you, and there's nothing better in this world than having a shower with the girl I'm falling hard and fast for.
I haven't told people about us because I don't want their input. They'd try to get involved, and I'm scared they'd chase you away, especially the sweet butts at the clubhouse; they service the brothers at their own choice but don't have to; all they have to do is clean the clubhouse and cook for us, which we give them room and board for; them fucking us is entirely up to them; and a few want a brother's patch. I have fucked several, and the thought of them scaring you away broke me, so I decided not to tell anyone except for certain people about our relationship. I never told my mother about you because she'd try to put herself between us, but my father knows about you, as does Dagger; he's actually the one I've gone to several times now for advice on how to win you over and to fix any fuckups I did. I have a house that's on club property, which is full of dark green, black, and gray.
I'm looking forward to taking you there as soon as I know my family won't make you want to run from me because, baby, wherever you go, I will fucking follow."
I let out a sob, and he held me tighter.
"I'm sorry, baby; I really am. These kinds of things you learn on dates, and I've never fucking taken you on one, have I?"
I shake my head while he sighs, dropping his head against my shoulder before kissing me lightly there.
"I've basically made you feel like you're my fuck buddy, haven't I?"
I sniffle and nod, happy that he's figured it out himself while he nods.
"Tonight, you and I are going out. I'm taking you for your first ride on my bike before I take you to work at 9, and then tomorrow, while you're sleeping, I'm making you dinner. Every night this week until I make up for four weeks without taking you out, we'll be doing something. Do you get me?"
Happiness swells inside me with hope, and I nod before he turns me around in his arms. I look up into his gray eyes, which hold so much emotion—guilt, fear, hope, and a little love. I link my arms around his neck, going to my tiptoes before kissing his lips lightly, making him smile against mine beforehe grips my ass with both his hands, lifting me. I wrap my legs around his waist as he places his member at my entrance and pushes me hard, making me gasp into his mouth.
One hand stays on my ass while the other comes to my neck, his hand cupping my jaw and tilting my head to deepen the kiss as he thrusts in and out of me, tilting his hips and hitting my g-spot, making me moan into his mouth.
Without breaking the kiss, he moves his hand down my body, finding my clit as his thrusts become quicker and harder; he pinches my clit, causing me to convulse around him, squeezing him tightly as my orgasm hits me, making me see stars. He groans, and his thrusts lose momentum as he cums hard, squeezing my clit at the same time, causing me to experience some aftershocks and making me gasp into his mouth. Once he knows the aftershocks have subsided, he stops his thrust but keeps himself inside me while slowing down the kiss.
He gently rubs his nose against mine, and my hands keep a hold on the back of his head, keeping him with me, making him smile before he rasps, "I have a lot of making up to do," making me giggle and causing him to groan as I tighten around his now hardening member.
He grins before he gently pulls his member out, leaving just the tip in before slamming forward, making me gasp before he rasps.
"Hold on, baby, because I'm not done with this shower yet."
