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I hear her take a deep breath. "She played you with his help."
I can hear the anger in her voice: "Worse Star, so much fucking worse. Leah's foster dad sold her virginity to Razor when he took an interest in her before we met and before she applied for the job at the bar."
She sucks in a breath before she rasps, "Lucas, please tell me he didn't, not where I was...”
She can't finish her sentence as a sob comes out again before I rasp,
"He tore through her innocence with a razor in between his fingers the day of her interview, right outside the front door of the bar." I hear her gasp out a cry: "He never fucked her; he basically wanted what he saw as his when he realized we had a connection and that I was going to make her mine. He left permanent damage inside her. Star, she was told she may never be able to get pregnant." I hear her gasp out a 'no' as I continue, "but we beat the odds, me and her. We were drunk, which is probably the only reason she even let me touch her. Her notes from the hospital go into detail on her trauma with penetration, but it happened; I had her-her, I got her pregnant against the odds; I didn't fucking r-remember it." I clear my throat to control my emotions and my anger at myself. "There's a large chance I could lose both her and the baby before she even gives birth; she could die because of the trauma he caused her body." Star lets out a cry, and I sniffle, "F-for years Star I have been fucking Cara for years, t-throwing it in her-her face."
She sniffles. "You didn't know Lucas; surely she can't hold that against you?"
I shake my head. "Star, I saw them. She and Razor, Cara, told me they were a couple, knowing I'd go and want to see it with my own eyes. I saw her riffling against him, but-but I thought, I thought…” I can’t finish the sentence with how deeply I fucked up.
"You thought he was getting her off, not tearing her insides up."
I sniffle again as more tears fall. "We all treated her badly, Star, except for Doc and Ava. They see her as a daughter; they're the only reason we know the truth. She never told anyone, and withhow we were treating her, Doc couldn't sit back any longer and risked his license," she sucked in a breath. "He risked his license for someone who's a daughter to him to open our eyes to how badly we were treating her, how I was treating her, the woman I love more than anything. I was pushing her away out of loyalty to someone we never even questioned."
"Oh, Lucas."
"I don't know what to do, Star. She's pulling away from everyone, including Sophie, and she's like a sister to her. I made her move in with me, and I got her to work back at the bar, but if given the chance, Star."
I shake my head before she rasps,
"She'll follow my footsteps and run." She takes a deep breath. "Leave it with me, Lucas; I'll figure something out." I sniffled again. "I promise you, I'll figure something out." I hear some woman in the background shouting, and I furrow my brows. "That's Wendy, my boss, my breakover. Leave it with me, Lucas, ok? I love you."
Gratitude flows through me as I rasp, "I love you too, Starfish," before she hangs up and I quickly message Flame.
He's going to want to know.
Me – she answered me, brother. She said to leave it with her.
He messages back instantly.
Flame – fuck… She's wavering, brother; she's fucking wavering.
I smile before wiping my face, glad to give him hope before I stand.
I need to see Leah; I need to make sure she's still here. I know working here is difficult for her with what happened, but the brothers and I redecorated outside. The door is now ruby red,and the wooden effect on the walls outside is now brown instead of white. Cameras are now installed out the front instead of just the back, and we've brought staff parking to the front too. Fuck, I even redecorated my office. We'll do anything to ensure she's happy and feels safe—anything to get her to learn to forgive us for fucking up and to forgive me for fucking up.
I walk into the bar to see it's nearly full. Sliver walks past me, giving me a sultry look, but I ignore her, looking behind the bar before my eyes find my girl. She's drying up some glasses, lost in thought, and I sigh before walking over to her. I know she feels my presence because her body's gone tense, but I aren’t deterred; it's been two weeks since I found out the truth, two weeks since she's been in my home. I'm not stupid; it's going to take a while for her to finally give me another chance. I know it, and so does the club; we're all trying.
I can't lose her.
Before she was still in my life, my friend, so I had a piece of her, but now that I remember our night together and now that I know I'm an idiot, I can't lose her, and being a friend just isn't going to cut it anymore.
I come up behind her, placing my hands on her hips before gliding them around, cupping her beautiful bump that she still hasn't showcased to everyone yet. Even at home, she'll wear baggy clothes. I want her to feel proud of it and show it off; at least then every mother fucker knows she's mine.
I rub my thumb over it as the baby moves about under my hands before I place my head into the crook of her neck and rasp,
"I wish you'd speak to me, Angel. I miss the sound of your voice; I miss you, and I really would like to know what we're having before my mother."
She doesn't say anything; she just continues doing the glasses, making me sigh before I kiss behind her ear. "I'll be in my office doing the paperwork if you need me, alright? I love you, baby."
I give her another kiss behind her ear while rubbing my whole hand on her bump one more time before leaving her to do her job.
She'll talk to me again; it'll just take time, and I'll just have to be patient because I won't lose this chance with her, I won’t lose her or our child.
Chapter 16
