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Leah – 2 weeks later
I look up to see more people walk into the bar, and I sigh, finishing up the margarita and sangria for the two women who are here to apparently teach their men a lesson about how to keep your child alive without them.
I must admit, I actually wanted to laugh for the first time in weeks.
Last week I had another check-up with Sarah without Gunner knowing; he thought I was here before he found out the truth. He was pissed, and I know he has a right to be there, but not this time. She wanted to check my walls, which meant an intervaginal scan, which meant panic attacks. Ava came with me while Doc waited outside as usual. They managed to calm Gunner down when I refused to speak to him, which made him more pissed. They told him what the appointment was for after my little head nod and defeat washed over his features because I didn't tell him about it or want his support. I mean, would I really want the man who treated me like shit for five years to be there for me? No, I wouldn't; he should have known that.
I smile at the ladies as they pass me a tip before I go to the next customer while remembering a phone call I received two weeks ago from someone I never expected to hear from.
I've just sat down on the bed in Gunner's guest room, ready for sleep, when my phone rings, and I sigh. It's probably Doc; he's the only one who calls me nowadays. I haven't spoken to Sophie, and to be honest, she hasn't even noticed our friendship has all but faded now that she has Clitter. She doesn't need me right now, and that's fine; it's probably for the best. She and the club are close; I can't have her argue with her family over me because I'm always outside looking in. They didn't even bother to question the accusations that were being made against me despite bringing in more business for them when they promoted me to manager; I was just a tool for them to make more money, and I see it now.
I get up, grab my phone from near the TV, and frown at the out-of-state number before I answer.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Leah."
I freeze in shock. "Star?"
She clears her throat. "Yeah, it's me. I uh, know this call is out of the blue, but I had a frantic call from Gunner."
I swallow hard. "Look, Star. I don't know what Gunner has said, but I don't want to talk about anything; I just want to go to sleep."
She sighs, "And neither did I." I freeze again, my breath caught in my lungs. "I was raped Leah, behind the bar six months ago."I try to breathe, but I can't. "A traitor to the Devils targeted me after the club killed his cousin for dealing drugs at Untamed Girls. Flame is the one who did the deed, and as I was technicallyhis girl in everyone's eyes except his, I became the target one night. It was our friend's date, and Ginger sauntered over to Flame. He decided being with her was the better deal and left me alone. When I went to cry in the bathroom, Hairy grabbed me from behind. He tore through me without a care in the world in front of the camera…anally.”
I let out a sob, "Star."
"I know. I decided I couldn't stay around the club anymore, around Flame, so I gave him my virginity, then left, ran really, and haven't looked back. I know what you feel, Leah. I know."
I shake my head. "No, Star, you don't. That ‘man’ tore through my dry walls with two of his fingers and a razor in between them, taking my innocence, destroying my chances of having a healthy pregnancy, and ensuring I could die as well as my baby, all because Cara wanted Gunner, a man I had just met. She didn't care about that detail; she just wanted me out of the way, and instead of letting me slink off into the night, they both decided to let me suffer, forcing me to stay and work all while she shoved her activities in my face with a man I became hopelessly in love with, a man who loved me back but decided to listen to crap, just like you did a woman I thought was becoming a friend, just like the club did who I thought was becoming family before you all decided to inform me you'd all never see me that way because I was basically a slut, a patch chaser when I'd never even had sex before.
You all turned against me because of their lies, and he wasn't even a patched brother then. No oneasked me; no one was willing to listen! I tried to tell you, and you told me you don't speak to liars, so I don't know why Gunner got you to call me, and I don't care why. I want nothing to do with the club, you, or Gunner; now I'm sorry for what you went through. I really am, but at least you'll still have your family at your back if you decide to return. I have no one, but the baby I didn't even know was possible to conceive."
She sighs, "Leah, please. I don't want you to shut down like I did. The brothers messed up, and so did I. I just want to help you earn your forgiveness like everyone else because you are family, Leah, and you always have been."
I shake my head as my tears fall down my cheeks. "There is no helping me, Star."
"Yes, there is, and I'm going to bring you back up again like I have for myself. I'm going to text you every day and call as much as I can. You won't feel alone or lost as I did; I won't allow that, and I know Gunner completely fluffed up big time, but he loves you, Leah; he just wants a chance for forgiveness, for you to give a relationship a go like you both should have had five years ago."
I sniffle. "I don't trust him." and I don't, not anymore. He became my world the more time we spent together—the little touches and flirting behind the bar, the smiles that were meant to just be for me. I just wasn't his world, because if I was, then he wouldn't have kept going to Cara while shoving it in my face; he wouldn't have believed 'him.'
"I know Lee-Lee, I know and trust is probably the hardest thing to get back, I should know. I don't thinkI can ever forgive Flame or the club, to be honest, but if you still love him, if you are miserable and miss him crazily, then let him try to earn it back."
I shake my head and sigh. "You don't love Flame anymore?"
She's silent for a beat before she responds, her voice defeated. "I'll always love Flame; he's my one and always has been for as long as I can remember, but how do you let someone like him earn your trust back after everything he's done? He knew my feelings, and I knew his, just like Gunner and you. He decided to spend nights with other women, including my own sister, who had been stealing from me just like Gunner, but he left me to his enemies, the same enemies that are still at large. I was raped because of him because of the club and their dealings. Gunner didn't mean for this to happen to you, Leah, and I know Flame didn't expect mine to happen, but he chose to walk away with Ginger, thinking his club was invincible. Gunner misread a situation that ended in disaster, and he's now paying for that because your pain is his pain. He cried, Leah, on the phone to me. He cried and fell apart for the pain he put you through."
I sigh because she's right. Gunner didn't know what was happening, and it destroyed him when he realized what was actually happening when he walked away from the scene. His heartbreak when he fell apart on me in my apartment completely obliterated me. Seeing his tears and pain, it was hard not to hold him and keep my walls up. "My assault was always going to happen."
"What do you mean?"
I sniffle. "My foster dad sold my virginity to 'him' a few years before it happened; he liked what he saw even when I was underage, despite my never meeting him before. He heard the rumors that I wanted to wait until marriage. He wanted me, and when he saw Gunner and I make a connection the first time we looked into each other's eyes, he wanted what he thought was his and decided to take it before I gave it to Gunner, which I would most likely have done before marriage."
She gasps, "Please tell me the fucker is dead."
I snort at her language.
Star hates cursing and only does it if she's pissed: "My foster dad isn't. Gunner killed 'him' though."
