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I hang up and throw my phone on my bed, trying to breathe through my pain. When my phone beeps, I sigh, thinking it's club business, but my sob echoes through my room, seeing the message.
My Firefly – I miss you too; just give me time.
Time, I can do time.
Chapter 14
Star – Daggers Wedding – Five Months Later
I click the indicator on before turning into the parking lot, and I swallow hard. Why am I doing this? Oh yeah, because I promised I'd try.
Dammit.
I check the mirror and see my boy still fast asleep. I'm taking a big risk with this; I know I am, but I also know I'd regret not going. I pull up outside the daycare center. I've been on the road for ten hours now, only stopping for one night in a motel, and I have another four hours to go. I refuse to take my boy to Parkerville; it's bad enough that I decided to go, so Wincher was my best bet.
Taking a deep breath, I get out of my car and stretch before grabbing my boy in his car seat, then his bag, and taking him inside. Marlene, the owner, smiles at me before taking Theo's bag. I gently rub my hand over his head after placing his car seat on the floor. He looks so much like his father.
"He'll be in great hands, Star."
I give her a smile. I have only left him with a babysitter while I worked; this will be the longest I'll go without him, and the thought is terrifying. It helps that I've spoken to Marelene quite a bit on FaceTime.
I gently place a kiss on my boy's head before looking back at Marelene.
"I've placed eight bottles of expressed milk as well as some homemade purees in his bag."
She nods and gives me a smile before taking him inside, and I swallow hard. Ok, I have to go; I need to; he'll be safe here. Right, with a nod of my head in determination, I turn around and get to my car before driving out of the parking lot. It's going to take about four hours, and I should get to the church before the ceremony at 11 a.m., then be gone by 12 before getting to my boy at 4 p.m. I've booked the same motel room for tonight before getting home tomorrow, where we should arrive at roughly 5 p.m., hopefully.
Four hours later my hands start to sweat as I go over the Hudson bridge. I take a deep breath. I need to get in and get out without being seen by Zayne. His messages are killing me; every day he leaves me a new truth, and every day I can feel myself wanting to give in, especially when he admitted to buying me my own gallery last year but didn't get the chance to give it to me. But the same question always comes to mind: how can I try for us after the hurt he's caused me? How can I live in Parkerville after I was raped? How can I trust him and the club again?
I shake my head before pulling into the parking lot of the church. I see Meghan, the resident doctor who also helped me alongside Mel that night, with a beautiful little girl walking towards the church, and I swallow hard.
Can I really do this and be around my family again, even for an hour after everything?
Taking a deep breath, I climb out of my car and slowly walk towards the entrance, where I notice Annalise gently rockingher baby girl, Annabel, and I smile. She hears my heels on the concrete and looks up before her eyes widen in shock, tears instantly filling them, making me rush my steps towards her, taking her and the little girl, who is a spitting image of her daddy, in my arms and hugging them both.
"Oh God, you're really here." She let out a sob, and I hugged her tighter until the baby made a noise, and I pulled back, smiling at the beauty before taking her from her mama's arms.
"Oh Annie, she is precious."
She lets out another sob just as two arms wrap around me from behind and Tank rasps in my ear, "Fuck, you're a sight for sore eyes, sweetheart."
I grin as I pass the baby back to her mama before I turn around and hug Tank tightly. "I missed you," I whisper, and he hugs me tighter. When my father was 'killed', Tank became a dad to me; beforehand, he was always there, and I was a lot closer to him than most brothers, but that was because he's Zayne's dad, and where Zayne was, I was.
He pulls back, gently moving my hair from my face. His bright blue eyes, just like his sons and mine, shine. "He doesn't know, does he?" I shake my head. "You don't want him to either, do you?" I shake my head again; I can't see him, not yet.
He sighs but nods; gratitude fills me before I hug him again. He pulls back, giving me a gentle smile. "Alright, sweetheart, I'll go in first with Annie, then you sneak in," he says, kissing my head. "Fuck, it's good to see you," he rasps before guiding a teary-eyed Annie in, and I blow her a kiss, making her smile as Tank mutters, "Fuck, my son is going to kill me for this," making me smile at him. I wait a couple of minutes before heading inside. I sneak inside, take a seat at the back, and swallow hard, trying not to look for Zayne because I honestly don't know what I'd do.
Smack him or kiss him?
Picture after picture of him with numerous women comes to mind, including my sister, then him leaving with Ginger that night.
Smack him. Yep, definitely smack him.
I take deep breaths, trying to stay invisible as 'a thousand years by Christina Perry' starts. Leah walks out of the doorway, first sending me a side eye and a wink, and I grin at her. She's the only one who knew I'd be here. She's wearing a light pink off-the-shoulder floor-length gown, her light blonde hair clipped to one side of her head while her blue highlights are curled slightly. She looks absolutely beautiful. Meghan comes next, in the same dress as my newly best friend, whom I started messaging a few months ago. Her black hair, in the same style as Leah's, looks beautiful. Her hand is holding the little girl who I saw her with outside, her daughter. She's in a pretty white, flowery dress. Her brown hair curly down her back, her hazel eyes hesitant as she squeezes her momma's hand, and I grin before side-eyeing Slicer because damn, she's the spitting image of him.
How is that even possible?
Oh crap!
