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I can’t tell them I’m leaving though or where I’m going. Not only because I don’t know, but because if someone ever comes here looking for me, I want everyone safe because they have no information to give. Ignorance, in this case, is more than just bliss; it’s security.

When my drink is gone and it’s almost time for the contest, I stand up and make my way out, along with quite a few other people. I smile as I walk past some of the shops, making sure to look in Thingamabobs because it’s one of my favorite stores in town. There’s always something to see in there and the quirky atmosphere reminds me of Kyla.

As much as I would love to buy so many things in there, it would go against traveling light. Just because I haven’t had to pack up quickly and get out of Mistletoe Creek doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened before.

I’ve honed my skills behind my keyboard with some trial and error over the last ten years. In the beginning there was a lot more error than anything else, but I’m here and no one got their hands on me or cornered me. I learned from it and got better. Still, I know it would be stupid to become complacent.

I grab a gingerbread steamer when I get to the contest and start to wander and take it all in. As I stop to talk to people, smiling at them the whole time, I realize I haven’t felt at home like this since before Kyla disappeared.

If only I could stay.

I can’t though and the sooner I come to terms with it the better. I fell in love with Mistletoe Creek at Christmas because of how festive and welcoming it is. If I had come through here at any other time of year I might not have stayed. Then I talked myself into one more year and then one more.

Now it’s my fifth. It will have to be my last.

Even as I’m sipping my drink and watching the gingerbread houses go together, while hearing some good-natured trash talking, I’m thinking about the hack I did in the early hours of the morning. I’m going back over it in my head and realizing I wasn’t as focused as I should have been. I let myself think about the past too much.

I’m good, but the niggling fear that I fucked up is something I can’t shake. I can only hope I’m wrong.

At least people who need the money this holiday season have gotten it and it’ll help them. That’s what matters.

I almost crush the flimsy cup in my hand when I think about the Devil’s Saints MC. I don’t know why they bug me more than other clubs and organizations I’ve stolen from before. It doesn’t make any sense, but them being the bad guys and helping people be victimized really rubs me the wrong fucking way.

To my right I hear a woman exclaim, “Oh, Robyn. Just the woman we were hoping to see here today.”

I look over to find Fern smiling at me with her two cohorts, Fawn and Merry, at her side. Anyone who even visits Mistletoe Creek knows about the three women who seem to be in the middle of everything going on. They’re the best of friends, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t famous for their squabbling. And being in everyone’s business.

They’re kind, sweet, and loyal to not only the town but the people in it. They also spend quite a bit of time up to no good from what I can see. They’re the kind of women who create their own drama wherever they go. There’s nothing malicious about it, which is why people tolerate their antics and accept them for who they are for the most part.

“Fern,” I greet her with a big smile on my face and then look toward the other women, “Fawn and Merry. How are you ladies doing today? Enjoying the contest?”

“Oh, of course we are,” Merry assures me. “It’s always fun to come out and see how everyone is decorating this year. Then there’s the smell of all this gingerbread.” She takes a deep breath like she’s huffing something and I almost giggle at how silly she looks. “It really does the trick of putting me in the holiday spirit.”

“I know what you mean. You can’t deny that Christmas is right around the corner when gingerbread is around,” I agree with her.

“Too true,” Fern agrees, but there’s a glint in her eye that has me more than a little wary. She looks at her friends who give her knowing looks which do nothing to make me any less suspicious about what they’re up to. “We were wondering what kind of plans you have for some of the town events coming up.”

I narrow my eyes at the ladies in front of me who are smiling like the Cheshire Cat. “What are you ladies up to?”

“Why do you think we’re up to anything?” Fawn tries to give me an innocent look, but I don’t believe it for a second.

“We just want you to spend some time with someone special this holiday season,” Fern jumps in.

“Time with someone? Everyone is around for everything. I’m not alone for any of the events,” I point out, not understanding what they’re talking about.

Fern huffs out a breath like I’m being insufferable. “What about a date? A man? I’ve never seen you go on a date or anything, Robyn,” the whine in her voice would make me laugh if she wasn’t talking about me dating someone.

I’ve avoided men as I’ve moved around and focused on righting wrongs in the world that I wish I didn’t even know about. Having a man and being a memory for someone goes against my ability to move through the shadows. I had a boyfriend in high school and things were serious, but when Kyla went missing, he couldn’t handle my sadness.

I don’t think a man would be able to handle my need for vengeance and they wouldn’t understand my means of getting it. Why even put myself out there like that?

Then there’s the fear from knowing just how bad some of the men in the world are. What if I met the wrong one and gave them a chance?

No. It’s better for me to keep my distance from men and find comfort and solace in my work.

“You can’t be alone forever,” Merry’s gentle voice pulls me from my thoughts and my swirling fears.

“I’m not interested in dating anyone, ladies,” I try and keep my voice gentle, but it comes out sharper than I mean it to.

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