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Kim guided her to a bench next to the lift.
She sat and began to tremble with sobs.
‘I know it’s a tough—’
‘Thank you,’ Charlotte said through the tears. ‘I needed this. I needed to see him dead, but I wasn’t expecting this.’
‘What?’
‘The tears are coming from anger. There’s a rage burning inside me. He’s so small. I thought he was taller, bigger, more powerful.’
A trick of the mind, Kim thought. Her perception of his physicality was directly linked to the power he’d wielded over her.
She wiped her nose with a tissue. ‘It’s myself I’m angry with. How the hell did I allow him to take away so much of my life? Lying in there, he was so small, so pathetic, but he’s been in my head for over ten years.’
She buried her head in her hands. It seemed to Kim that there was a decade’s worth of release seeping out of her, which was healthy. The self-blame was not.
‘I’ve missed so many years with my mum, and now she’s sick. She’s progressing quicker than my grandpa did, and I’ve missed vital time with her.’
She punched her own leg. Hard.
‘You’re not the only one he terrorised,’ Kim said, grabbing her fist.
‘Huh?’
‘He turned his attention on to one of my officers.’
The crying stopped as Charlotte’s eyes widened in a mixture of shock and horror.
‘He was a witness to a murder. She interviewed him. She did nothing wrong. He’d been stalking her for two months before his death.’
‘Oh God, no.’
‘I’m telling you because it wasn’t your fault. None of it. She’s a police officer. She knew what to do, but she didn’t do anything. She kept it to herself and suffered in silence. Like you, she thought she’d invited it, she thought she could handle it on her own. She thought if she ignored it for long enough it would go away.’
Charlotte was nodding in complete agreement.
‘She’s had to put up with it for a couple of months, and I can see the toll it’s taken on her. So give yourself a break. You didn’t cause this. He caused it and now he’s dead. Your only responsibility going forward is to live your best life and make as many memories with your mum as you can.’
Charlotte took in a deep breath and stood.
They walked to the main entrance in silence. When they reached the doors, Charlotte paused.
‘Will you give her my number, your colleague?’
‘Of course.’
‘If she wants to talk or wants to just sound off, I’m available any time…and oh my goodness, that’s the first time I’ve voluntarily offered my number to anyone in years.’
‘Thanks for that. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.’
‘I know she’s got all the support she needs between her family and her colleagues, but I’m here if she needs me.’
‘Appreciated,’ Kim said again as Charlotte thanked her before heading across the road.
Kim stood still for a moment, fighting the nausea burning the back of her throat. Yes, Stacey had support from people that cared about her.
But not all of them.
