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‘Is that what she said?’ Stacey asked doubtfully.
‘Not exactly, but I got the idea. I suppose you’d say she came to manage my expectations.’
‘May I come in?’
Karen Boyd let go of the door in a ‘do what you like’ manner.
Stacey closed the door behind her and followed Karen to the lounge.
The woman sat on the single chair and pulled her legs and feet inside the jumper like a security blanket. She leaned forward, took a cigarette from the box and lit it.
‘Sorry, used to smoke outside, but not any more. Don’t even feel safe in my own back garden.’
Stacey’s heart went out to her. Her own recent experiences had taught her a lot about how the fear of what might happen had the power to affect things you’d done before without a minute of consideration.
‘May I call you Karen?’ Stacey asked.
She shrugged. It clearly made no difference to her.
‘Do you mind telling me what happened the other night?’
‘For what reason? So you can choose not to believe me as well?’
‘Please, Karen, I’m hoping I can help.’
She took one long draw on her cigarette and then ground it out forcefully. Her arms then disappeared into the jumper with the rest of her, leaving only her head exposed.
‘I was on my way back from the pub. Birthday drinks for my boss. It’s a short walk, half a mile. I refused the next drink so I wouldn’t be leaving in the dark.’
So many considerations just to get home from a night out.
‘I mean, who gets an Uber for half a mile?’ she said in a tone that hinted she really wished she had. ‘I didn’t even realise there was anyone behind me. I heard no footsteps, sensed nothing. I was about halfway. I was distracted messing in my handbag for my k-keys.’
She paused and took a few breaths.
‘Take your time. There’s no rush,’ Stacey said gently.
‘Next thing I knew, I was knocked so forcefully I thought a car had hit me. I was on my side, on the ground, in the alley. I’d hit my head. I was dazed. Before I opened my eyes, I could feel something pulling at my clothing. There were hands on my thighs, pulling up my skirt. I realised that the figure above me wasn’t helping me. He was going to rape me.’
The tears were rolling over her cheeks.
‘His hands were all over me, pulling, pushing, searching, grabbing. I started to kick and punch, but it’s like my struggling was helping him to get me into the position he wanted. He managed to get himself between my legs. It was only then that I started to scream. He smacked me here,’ she said, removing her hand from the cocoon briefly and pointing to her forehead. ‘My head went back and hit the ground. I was trying not to pass out cos then I wouldn’t be able to scream, and then it stopped. Suddenly the weight was gone, and I could breathe.’
The memory prompted her to take a few deep breaths before continuing. ‘My clothes were all around my waist. Every intimate part of me was exposed.’
‘So there was no—’
‘No,’ Karen said, cutting off the word she didn’t want to hear.
‘And you saw no one else?’
‘It was a couple of minutes before someone found me. I was just sobbing against the wall, too scared to come out of the alley. It was a man and he took care not to touch me. He stood in front of me and called the police. He just kept telling me he wasn’t going to leave me and that no one was going to hurt me.’
The sad smile on her face told Stacey this had helped her to feel safe while waiting for the police to arrive.
‘Do you think your attacker just changed his mind?’ Stacey asked, understanding the ridiculousness of the question. Rapists stopping midway wasn’t a common occurrence.
Karen frowned. ‘At first I thought so. I thought my screaming had attracted attention, but there are things that don’t make sense. No one came to my aid immediately.’
