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“You’re beautiful,” I say, tracing my fingers along her hairline and tucking some stray hair behind her ear. The way she leans into my touch makes me glow inside, because for some reason she trusts me. “I wanted to bring you up here to see the leaves because this is a special place to me, somewhere I’ve always gone to remind myself that even though there are terrible things in this world, there’s also great beauty. There’swonder. But I don’t need to go up here to remind myself of that anymore. All I need to do is look at you. When I look at you, I feel like everything’s going to be okay, even if I don’t know how.”
She swears under her breath, and I’d laugh if she weren’t on my lap, if her lips weren’t tipped up to me, her legs spread around my waist, bringing the part of her I want to claim so close to me. We’ve barely even touched, and we’re both still in our winter coats, but I’m hard for her. I’m so hard I feel like I might actually lose all my blood to my dick and die if I can’t lose myself inside her.
“You have a way with words,” she says, rocking against me. “I used to think quiet people didn’t have much to say.”
“Sometimes we have too much to say, and that’s why we’re quiet.” I lean down and kiss her forehead, then her cheek, then slowly move my mouth down to hers, learning the feel of her face beneath my lips. I’d like to learn every part of her with my mouth, my hands, my dick. I’d like to know her body like I’m getting to know her mind.
It starts as a soft kiss, a learning kiss, but I’m too fired up for that to last. She feels incredible against me—as if all my life I’ve been searching for the one person who was meant to fit with me, and I’ve finally found her. Our mouths part, our tongues dance. My hand lifts to her hair and gathers it, bringing her in closer, and she writhes in my lap, driving that deep, thumping need in my dick.
Take, take, take, it tells me. But I don’t want to take with her. Or at least I don’t want to take what I don’t first give.Her arms grab that back of the bench, providing her with better leverage as she grinds against me, a little breathy moan escaping her. I swallow it, claiming that too, my hands leaving her hair so they can tuck under her coat, her sweater, and find the warm soft flesh there. It’s not enough. It can’t be. Not until I’m buried inside of her, not until her taste has filled my mouth—and even then I know it won’t be.
I deepen the kiss, my hands palming her back and dipping beneath the band of her skirt to grab the perfect curve of her ass and guide her as she moves against me. Then I break the kiss so I can look her in the eyes.
“I need to be inside of you. I need to feel you clench around me. I need it like I’ve never needed anything.”
Her mouth opens slightly, and I capture her bottom lip in my mouth.
“Don’t be all talk, Danny,” she says when I release it. “I can’t abide a man who’s all talk.”
I squeeze her ass. She’s still moving against me, and I’m so hard I’m in danger of embarrassing myself.
A burst of conscience compels me to say, “We probably shouldn’t—”
“I’m pretty sure we’re not the only people who have come here for that reason. The bench is covered with initials of other people who could.”
“Kids who went here to make out,” I say. “Not fuck.”
The word seems to unleash something in her, and she moves harder against my dick, setting that need to boiling. “Well, we have better ideas.”
It’s all the invitation I need, until I remember there’s a crucial problem with this plan…
“I don’t have any protection,” I say, my jaw flexing, because I’m on the cusp of losing control entirely.So long. So long.
“I’m on birth control, and I got tested after Byron and I broke up. For obvious reasons. You said it’s been more than a few months for you?” She lifts her eyebrows, and I can tell she’s wanted to ask me this. She’s always so eager for information about people, collecting it like she’s saving it up for winter. I like that about her, too, even if I’ve only ever been like that with different kinds of information.
“Almost two years,” I say.
“Really?”
“Yes, that’s something a man remembers.”
Her eyes glimmer. “Is it weird that I think that’s hot? It’s like you’ve been saving yourself for me.”
I almost laugh, but my laughter has been dried up the by the heat boiling inside of me. Insisting that Idosomething about it. “It’s to my benefit, so why would I care if it’s weird?”
“We don’t need a condom. I want to ride you on this bench, Danny.”
I swear, then say, “It wouldn’t be good if we got caught.”
“If anyone gets close, we’ll know. The leaves will crackle. It’s like nature’s warning system for letting people have some fun.”
I do some mental calculations. The trees still have plenty of leaves on them, enough to cover us from sight from the road, and no one is likely to see us. It’s a risk, but not a huge one. I’ve come up here hundreds of times, and only on a few occasions has anyone else been here.
“It’s cold out here,” I make myself say. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
“We’ll keep our coats and my leg warmers on, and if I notice I’m cold, you’re not doing your job right.”
My mouth is dry. Every bit of my existence—of who I am and who I’ve been, who I will be—is living in my dick. “Youdidpromise that if you were riding me, I’d know.”
