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“Well, our new releases are over there.” Mila pointed to the table.
Ava started to look at them. “It must be odd,” she said as she looked. “To have someone that dependent on you, I mean.”
Mila laughed. “You’re telling me. If you’d have asked me five years ago I’d never have thought that I’d have the life that I have now.”
Ava looked over at her. “Any regrets?”
“You kidding?” Ava swept back her blue hair. “I’ve got a fine policeman for a husband and a beautiful daughter.” She put her head to one side. “I suppose we don’t always know best what we want, do we?”
“So how did you know?”
Mila shrugged. “I don’t know. It all just seemed to come together. I think you have to be open to things, open to the idea of things. Open to the possibility that anything can happen.”
Ava snorted at this. “You’re telling me. My wife left me for another man, trust me, I’m open to the possibilities of anything happening.”
“Not exactly what I meant,” said Mila.
“Then what did you mean?” Ava was curious now.
“Just… Life is hard,” Mila said. “It makes us hard, you know? Like we spend so much time getting hurt that we forget how to be vulnerable. We build up this protective wall and then, inexplicably, we expect other people to scale that wall in order to find us. Which is stupid really.”
“Are you suggesting I… rent out climbing equipment?”
Mila laughed. “No, but that you remember how to be vulnerable. I think that’s how we change, that’s how we find out what we want. Protecting yourself from hurt is all very well, but sometimes it’s the getting hurt that changes us, that makes us realize we need something. Or don’t need it.”
“Aren’t you the little psychologist?”
“You asked,” Mila said. “But in the end, there’s always a million reasons not to do something, but you only need one to do it. Have you ever noticed that?”
Ava was about to say that she hadn’t, but then the words sank in and she realized that Mila was right. She grunted in response instead and picked up the first book she’d seen that looked faintly interesting. “I’ll take this.”
Mila started to ring her up and Ava handed over her money and escaped out onto the street.
Something had changed. She’d changed. Which was the whole point of being over here, wasn’t it? She’d changed and as much as she’d said she wasn’t ready for anything to happen, maybe she was. Maybe she needed to put herself out there again.
Something had changed and that kiss had meant something. Of course it had. If it hadn’t, if it had been unwelcome, she’d have pushed Hope away. But she hadn’t done that. Because she’d wanted it.
Because as ornery and irritating and annoying as Hope could be, she was also gentle and loving and kind. Because as much as Ava might say she didn’t want to date, she missed being with someone. Because change had to happen.
And perhaps the first step should be recognizing that something had indeed happened. Something scary and terrifying but not altogether terrible.
She needed to talk to Hope.
Chapter Twenty
The knock came just as Hope was about to sit down with a cup of tea and an episode of something soapy that she’d never watch in front of her daughter. For once, she had the house to herself, so she wasn’t exactly pleased at the knock on the door.
She changed her mind when she opened the door and saw Ava standing there.
“Hmm. I think this is the first time I’ve seen you on my doorstep without a bag of animal dung in your hand.”
Ava, who had been looking pained and pale, actually cracked a smile at this. “No cat poop.”
“Promise? Because I’m not sure I want to let you in if that’s going to be involved.” She paused. “That is, presuming you want to come in?”
The kiss had been a spur of the moment thing. For once, Ava had looked human, had acted human, had been a part of town life, part of Hope’s life. And she’d been upset and, well, attractive.
Hope didn’t regret what she’d done. After all, you couldn’t hope to get without asking. For a moment there, she’d even thought that Ava was going to break out of her shell and actually let something happen.
