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“You’re right,” Ava said. “It was irresponsible of me to let someone take a child out of this classroom when I didn’t personally know him. I should have checked with someone, I should have called you. I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. To Alice or to any other child.”
Hope deflated a little. “I was worried.”
“I could see that, and I understand why,” Ava said. She was looking earnest. “I know I’ve got a lot to learn about being around small kids, and I know that’s why you’re here to help me. I’m used to kids that can take responsibility for themselves, hell, that can drive themselves. I screwed up and I understand why you got mad.”
“Wow.” Hope scratched her head. “Um, yeah, well, okay then. I’m not sure I was expecting such a complete apology.”
“I did wrong,” Ava shrugged. “The least I can do is apologize and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
“I’m sorry I snapped,” Hope said.
“You had every reason to,” said Ava. She took a step closer. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I know.” Hope could smell her, sense her, could fill herself up with the presence of Ava. And just as sometimes she swung from adoration to irritation, now she could feel herself swinging back again. “Um, I thought we decided this isn’t an appropriate place,” she said, voice sort of squeaky.
Ava stepped back. “You’re right.”
“Um, Alice is with her dad. I’m not sure where mum is, but I can check,” Hope said. “By which I mean, you could come to my place. If you wanted.”
The air crackled with energy. For a long moment Ava looked at her. Then she looked away, picking up her bag from her desk. “I’ve got a lot to do,” she said. “You know, it’s a school night.” She was trying to make a joke out of the rejection, but Hope felt it anyhow.
She felt it and knew that Ava was afraid, fragile, just as Mila had said. And she knew that no matter how much she might want the woman, she’d have to be patient. She’d have to show Ava that she was trustworthy.
So she smiled and nodded. “Alright then, let’s walk home, shall we?”
Chapter Twenty Three
Ava clapped her hands and twelve sets of eyes turned her way. She really was getting the hang of this. “Hand in hand please,” she said. Immediately, the children all joined hands into a large, uneven circle. Ava sighed. On second thoughts, maybe she wasn’t getting the hang of this.
“Pair up with your outside friend,” Hope said. The kids separated, coupling up and then forming a neat crocodile line.
Ava blew out a breath and Hope grinned at her. “Alright, you know the rules,” Ava said. “Stay with your outside friend. No running, no shouting, no leaving our sight. We’re not going to the park to play, we’re going…”
“To find insects,” shouted the kids in glee.
“To look at insects,” Ava corrected. “We look, we don’t touch. When you see an insect then you can check it off on your checklist and draw a picture. Whichever pair has the most insects will win today’s prize.”
Little eyes turned big and round and there was a lot of whispering, debate, Ava suspected, about what the prize might be. She smiled to herself.
“Ready for this?” Hope whispered.
Ava felt the stir of her breath on her neck and nodded. This was her first field trip with the kids, but she was feeling confident. Which was more than she could say about whatever was happening with Hope.
Inside the school, apparently everything was going fine. As long as Hope was in a classroom, Ava couldn’t get enough of her.
Commit to anything further than that though, and all bets were off. For God’s sake, she’d spent nights dreaming about the woman, dreaming and touching and wanting. But the second Hope invited her over, she turned her down flat.
Because that made so much sense.
The children trooped out of the classroom led by Hope, and Ava followed on behind.
She wasn’t exactly sure what the problem was. Okay, so she hadn’t been with anyone since Serena. But her body was obviously ready and responsive. She could think of no logical reason why she shouldn’t be an adult and spend some time with Hope doing adult things.
So why did her instincts kick in and make her say no all the time?
They came to a stop at the school gate and Ava almost tripped over Alice and Clara who were last in the line. Alice looked up at her.
“Yes?” Ava asked cautiously. She’d learned to be wary when Alice gave her the look that was currently being utilized.
