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Joar fucks me hard and fast on the counter. We climax together just as the oven buzzes. He pulls out, just in time to take the cookies out before they burn.
“You are quite the sight.” I giggle. Joar stands naked except for two oven mitts, holding two trays of cookies, and his dick is still hard and wet from being inside me.
Later that afternoon, we’re snuggled up in cozy loungewear on the couch watching Below Deck. Our bellies are full of Chinese food and homemade cookies when my phone buzzes. Joar presses pause while I check it.
Holy crap.
I can’t contain my excitement. “JJ, I can’t believe how much my career has taken off since I signed with Isis. The offers that are coming in… it’s like a whirlwind. Thank you for being such a good boss.”
“Well, technically I guess you’re my boss since Isis works for you.” Joar pulls me back against him. Kisses my temple. “I’m so proud of you, but with all these opportunities, I’ll confess…I worry about the impact us being apart is going to have on our relationship.”
I’ve been afraid to bring this up. “I feel the same way. We’ve worked so hard to get here. I don’t want our careers to pull us apart.”
“So far, we’ve made it work. It’s just that the more time we have together, the more I want to be together all of the time.” Joar’s palm caresses my head. His fingers thread through my hair.
His comment makes me sad because, although I feel that way too, I’m not sure how it’s possible. “I’m torn. My career is just revving up again. I probably have more flexibility. You’re running a multibillion-dollar company with responsibilities I’m only now beginning to comprehend.”
“No way. You are not giving anything up for me. This is your time, sweetness.” Joar’s voice is firm. Unwavering.
I guess we’re getting into it. Maybe it’s best. I sit up and turn to face him. “Is this where I say, ‘My heart is always with you. Distance may separate us physically, but our love will transcend any boundaries.’”
“I’ve been thinking about this for longer than I’ve cared to admit.” Joar’s brow is furrowed with concern. “Do you want to have a family someday?”
I’m a bit taken aback. “I’ve always wanted a family.”
“Do you want to raise a child in Los Angeles? From what I’ve seen, kids of celebrities…” He doesn’t finish his sentence. We both know what he means.
My heart sinks. He wants me to move. Just when things are picking up. I realize I’m clenching my hands. “Aren’t we putting the cart before the horse? Shouldn’t we just enjoy what we have right now?”
“I’m going to put my cards on the table.” Joar leans back against the cushions. Crosses his leg over his knee. “I’m going to be forty-eight next month. I don’t want to be an old man with a baby.”
I smack his leg. “Aw, JJ. Is your biological clock ticking?”
“I’m being serious.” His jaw sets. “A big part of me wants your home base to be with me here in New York. It wouldn’t mess up your career. We have the best schools. It would make things so much easier for me. I’ve been in LA a lot more than I normally am recently…because you’re there.” Joar rests his head in his palm and rubs his forehead with the edge of his finger as he speaks.
So many conflicting emotions bubble up. Elation. He’s asking me for permanence, which I want. Frustration. He also wants me to uproot myself, which on paper makes sense. He’s the friggin’ billionaire, after all.
While I appreciate Joar’s love and his intentions, in the past he’s tried to make decisions without consulting me first. I don’t want this issue to be an ongoing source of conflict. “It’s important for me to advocate for my own life and career,” I implore. “We both know moving to New York City isn’t the best option for me right now.”
Joar’s brow furrows. He’s disappointed. Determined. “I just want what’s best for us. Being together—building a life together—is the right path forward.”
“Look.” I take a deep breath, trying to find the right words to express my feelings without causing further strife. “For at least the next year, I’d like to prioritize my career. Los Angeles is where my opportunities lie, where my agent is, where my connections are. Moving away isn’t an option.”
His eyes narrow slightly, and I can tell he’s wrestling with his own inclination to take charge. “So, that’s the end of the discussion?” He sighs heavily. “Clover, I worry about the strain of a long-distance relationship. I don’t want to lose you over something we can fix.”
“I understand completely.” I soften my voice. This isn’t just about me. We’re both struggling and logistics have always been a factor for us. “Maybe we can take this year to explore compromises, like spending dedicated time together in each city or finding ways for me to pursue opportunities here in New York. It’s not like we have to decide today. I’m not pregnant or anything.”
Joar looks contemplative, his gaze fixed on me. “I dream about the day your belly is swollen with our child.”
My heart swoons. I can’t help it. I want that too. I crawl into his lap and straddle him. His arms band around me. I rest my cheek against his chest. “I love the idea of us creating a family together. We can find a way to figure this out. It goes both ways.”
“You’re right.” He strokes my back. “I want us to be equals, in every sense of the word.”
A glimmer of hope sparks within me.
This past year, I’ve been around many strong women.
Some with relationships. Some without.
