Page 86 of The Hate Date


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Joar takes a deep breath. Struggles to find the right words. “I... I heard something today.” His voice is heavy with unease. “Voice recordings of you. Seemingly confirming you’ve been involved in something illegal.”

I feel the color drain from my face. My eyes widen in shock. If he believes this, did Joar really just hate fuck me?

My voice shakes when I respond. “I…I don’t understand. What are you talking about? I would never do anything illegal. You know me.”

Joar looks crestfallen. Conflicted.

My heart aches with betrayal. Ultimate betrayal.

“So, you don’t know me then.“ I cross my arms protectively over my plunging dress. He doesn’t deserve to see my assets for one more second. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t walk out this door. I thought we were having a date night. I spent my entire day excited and proud to walk into that dinner on your arm. To have a little sexy time before we went. And you bring me up here to fuck me and dump me? Over some residual bullshit I thought was resolved a million years ago? No. Thank. You.” I stride purposefully toward the door.

“I desperately want to believe you. To trust you’re innocent. It’s just…wait for a second.” He walks over to his desk. “Let me play these for you so you know why I’m so upset.”

Joar hits a button on his phone and my voice fills the room.

I got your message. Just make sure you don’t leave anything behind. I’m serious. I’ll call you when I leave the house.

Hi. Okay. I’ll make sure I’m gone between eleven and four.

Hi. I checked the policy. This will work.

Hi there. Yes. Untraceable.

Hi again. Yes you’ll get your share after the check clears.

Hi. It’s happening.

“Clover, I need you to be honest with me,” Joar implores, his voice filled with a mix of vulnerability and determination. “I can’t ignore this, please help me understand.”

Tears well up in my eyes and every ounce of optimism I had earlier is replaced by dread and fear.

It sounds precisely like me. But it’s not. How is this happening? I’m shocked to the absolute core.

My voice trembles as I desperately plead, “Joar, I swear to you, I know what it sounds like but I never said those things. I have no idea where this came from. You have to believe me.”

Joar’s fists come up to his eyes. He’s fighting an emotion I’ve never seen him feel. Sorrow. “I don’t know what to believe.”

Taking a deep breath, I settle in to the reality of the situation. If things were reversed, I’d feel the same way he does.

Doesn’t make this hurt any less.

My faith in what we’ve built is eviscerated. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.” Joar scrubs his entire face with his hands.

“Why did you have such rough sex with me if you thought I was capable of this?” I’m crushed. “It makes me question your motives.”

Joar looks at me like his world is collapsing. “No…it wasn’t like that. Fuck. Baby...“ He sinks down into a plush couch in his seating area. “I wouldn’t do that to you. When we’re fucking, I just can’t control myself sometimes. I want you so much. I didn’t even think…”

“Say I believe you. Say you believe me. Where exactly does all of this leave us?” I sit across from him.

His eyes are watery. “What is happening, Clover? Is someone trying to fuck with us? I look at you. Feel you. Am inside you. I know who we are. What we mean to each other.”

“And yet, I feel sick to my stomach.” I bend over, clutching my belly. I don’t want to throw up, but I may not have a choice.

These ups and downs with Joar are exhausting.

Every time we seem to be on the right path, one of us throws up a road block.

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