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“Hey, bitch.” Bianca sashays down the steps in her short little romper to where I’m waiting on the perch. “You ready?”
I slowly rise so I don’t seem too pressed. “Took you long enough.”
“Oh, you shoulda been there. Five-star flirt alert, no cap.” She motions to Mindy, who’s behind her, long red hair swishing like the tail of the show pony she is.
A flirt alert is the secret rating system we made up to communicate the hotness of the guys we stan or who stan us. Ratings vary between five stars, which means he’s a snack to one star, which means he’s cringe AF. I think it’s genius—no one knows what we’re talking about so we never come across as sus. Mainly, nobody’s feelings get hurt.
I follow them to Bianca’s red Hyundai. “Who?”
“Austin Andrews.” Mindy turns and bats her eyelashes.
Bianca smacks her lips. “I like them smart and nerdy with glow-up potential.”
“He’s my brother’s best friend.” I’m a bit shocked that either of my friends would notice Austin, let alone throw down a flirt alert rating above a two on him. Everything inside me wants to squash this before Bianca gets a notion. It makes me consider my brother’s nerdy buddy in a different light, though.
Mindy opens the passenger door for me. “If you snooze, you lose beyotch.”
“What does that even mean?” I slide in. “The kid’s had a crush on me for years but I’ve never thought about him like that.”
“You’re too late. I’m calling dibs. I wanna pop that kid’s cherry. Make him fall in love with me.” Bianca licks her lips.
Mindy chortles. “Maybe I can hook up with Miles.”
“My brother?” I yelp. What the hell alternate universe am I living in?
“You’re too focused on jocks.” Bianca rolls her eyes. “They have it too easy. Too many women. Too many choices. Best to go for a decent-looking dude who will worship the ground you walk on.”
Huh. She kinda has a point.
“So, we’re coming over? Your folks are out of town and don’t Miles and Austin chill at your house most nights?” Mindy pulls out of the parking lot onto the main road.
“Yeah. I guess.” I’m not fully on board because I still have to take my meds, but what am I gonna say. No? I glance out the window at the McMansions passing us by on our way to my neighborhood.
We pull into the driveway at the same time Austin arrives on his bike dressed like he and my brother always dress. Ironic t-shirt, zip-up hoodie, jeans. When he sees the three of us pull up I can almost taste his discomfort. I get it. We’re a lot.
“Hey, Austin, we meet again. What are you doing here?” Bianca slides out of the driver’s seat and bites the tip of her finger seductively.
Austin looks at Bianca, then me. “Uh, hanging out with Miles.”
I study him briefly. Bianca has a point. He’s on the cusp of handsome if he gains about twenty pounds of muscle, amps up his clothes a bit, maybe grows out his hair on top. He catches me staring, blushes, and looks down.
As we enter my house, I hear the familiar sounds of the zombie video game Miles loves coming from the living room. Austin immediately makes a beeline for the couch where Miles is sitting. “Dude, did you make it past the toxic sewer?”
“On second thought.” Bianca’s nose is so wrinkled I’m shocked it hasn’t disappeared inside her head. “I most likely can’t deal with that level of geek factor. Even if he has a big D.”
I glance over at them and back at my friends and try not to think about Austin’s dick when I have things to take care of. “I’ve got to pee and then we can get a snack. I didn’t have lunch.”
I leave Mindy and Bianca in the kitchen and bolt to the bathroom. When I open my pill container to take my dose, I discover it’s empty. Fuck. A side effect of this stupid medication is it sometimes messes up my memory. I totally forgot that I’m out. Now Miles is going to have to drive me to the pharmacy.
Then I realize, no. My friends are here. They can’t know about this, so I can’t go until they leave. Rationalization kicks in.
You can wait another day. It’s no big deal.
It is what it is, I guess. I return to the kitchen where I see that Bianca broke out the grapefruit-flavored vodka my mom keeps in the freezer. She’s poured it into three large glasses and is adding some soda water. She raises a glass. “This is what I call a snack. It’s cocktail hour, bitches!”
“Fine, but we’ll need to replace it. My mom will kick my ass.” Forgetting I’m hungry, I sit at the counter and take my drink. It’s been a stressful day. I need it.
Mindy sits next to me. “So tell me about this crush Austin has on you.”
