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I never want this to end.
“What are we on, twelve?” The next evening, Austin butters toast while I scramble some eggs.
“Twenty-four hours. Twelve orgasms. I’ll never recover.” I laugh as I ladle the eggs onto plates. “A little breakfast for dinner? Maybe a sexy shower and we still have tomorrow to double our money.”
Austin has fucked me in every room of this condo. The living room, of course. In his bed a few times. On the kitchen counter where we’re eating now. On the sink in the powder room. Against the window overlooking the city. Out on the balcony in a lawn chair. Bent over the edge of his desk. On the floor of his closet. Each time more inventive and incredible than the previous encounter.
In between, we’ve talked for hours. Morphing from serious discussions into playful banter. It’s incredible how our individual quirks and nuances mesh. We always seem to find a playful rhythm as we dance between flirtation and deep connection.
He teases me about my impeccable taste in fashion. I razz him over his shocking well of pop culture knowledge. We kiss. Touch. Fondle. Cuddle. I’ve never been so content in my life. I’ve never felt so myself.
We’ve had so many moments where our eyes lock and the world narrows down to the overwhelming connection we share. I find myself lost in the depth of his gaze, when the rich tapestry of his soul is laid bare. I’ve never been so open and honest with anyone, even Miles.
It’s hard to fathom how much comfort we seem to find in each other’s presence, when a few days ago we were, basically, enemies. Now there’s a natural ease between us that speaks of a kinship of souls. Hopefully, a shared vision of a future. Together.
“You’re a sex goddess.” Austin takes a bite of toast. “I love how you ask for what you want and how you want it. Then I can give it to you. It’s fucking awesome you don’t make me guess.”
“Well, I feel the most confident in my own body when I’m having sex,” I blurt out.
He chews thoughtfully. “I wonder why. You’re such a force in everything you do. You never seem insecure.”
“Oh, that’s the fake it until you make it pageant girl in me. Truthfully, I’m still figuring myself out.” I grab our empty plates and rinse them in the sink. “I think when I’m having sex, I’m so present in the moment. The pleasure. I’m not thinking about anything else. Or my problems. Nothing. Only how pleasing it feels. How I can satisfy my partner.”
His jaw clenches. “Can I be honest? That comment bugs me. I don’t wanna be some rando sex partner, Shay. I’d like to know if this connection we have is unique. Not merely because of us, but because of Miles. I can’t risk my friendship with your brother over something that might be only physical to you.”
His words sting but I realize I’ve slipped into my default mode of generalizing things to protect myself. I keep my voice even. “Physical? You think I think our connection is about sex?”
“No. That’s not what I meant.” He rakes his fingers through his hair. “Every time I’m near you, the world fades away. I want to know this is real—not some fleeting thing for you.”
I move closer. My fingers itch to touch him, but I resist. “I’m sorry. My comment was flippant. Careless.”
“No, I’m sorry,“ he murmurs, his voice laced with regret. “I can’t keep being defensive about what happened years ago. My feelings for you are huge, Shay. I’m terrified of making a mistake. Of losing Miles. Of losing you.”
We stand close, the air between us thick with tension and desire. The pull between us is undeniable. “Austin,” my voice warbles, “I can’t promise how things will unfold, but the truth is I’m falling in love with you.”
A tumult of emotions play out behind his eyes. Without another word, he closes the distance between us and his lips meet mine in a searing, all-consuming kiss. “Thank Christ, because I’m falling in love with you too.”
I reach out and trace a gentle path along his hand. Our fingers intertwine in a silent pledge of commitment to figuring it out.
“Shay.” Austin’s voice carries a tremble of vulnerability, a raw openness that has been rarely directed toward me by anyone. “I want this—us—to work. I feel like this is, truly, once in a lifetime.”
My eyes well up with tears that carry the weight of hope after a year of incredible disappointment and struggle. I’m scared, though. Is it wise for me to jump into another relationship with someone who has the power to crush me? This feels special, distinct from how it was with Devon, where everything—and I mean everything—revolved around him.
Austin seems to truly love me for who I am.
Not what I can do for him.
Am I ready for this?
“Let’s go watch a movie or something.” I hold out my hand. “Enough with all of this serious stuff. I want to snuggle my boyfriend and fuck in a room that remains unchristened.”
As I lead him to the back room where his giant television and gaming command station is set up, Austin finally catches on. “Wait, so I’m your boyfriend?”
“Well…yeah. Even if we’re not broadcasting our relationship to the public. I’ll cut any bitch who tries to get her claws into you. Now that I’ve had your cock, no one else is allowed near it. Ever.“ I look back and stick my tongue out at him.
Austin lunges for me and throws me over his shoulder firefighter-style. “Good thing my cock wants one woman and that’s you.”
“Only your cock?” I spank his ass as we enter the room.
