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My heart beats faster. This is usually when someone tells me I’m too much. “Tell me.”
“I’ll preface this by saying your condition is only one aspect of who you are. It doesn’t fully define you.” He kisses my temple. “The one thing that scares me is how much you’ve lied about it. I’d like you to always be honest with me, even if it’s hard. No matter what.”
“I will.” Suddenly feeling uncomfortable, I break our embrace and flip around and down on the couch. “Tonight was a perfect example of why I do lie, though. Why I never told Devon. The second I got my diagnosis, it’s been all my parents focus on with me. Now that you know, I don’t want it to define our relationship, Austin. I don’t need you to take care of me or hound me about medication. As long we operate on the premise that I’m a normal girl with a condition that I’m perfectly capable of managing, we’ll be golden. Can you promise me that?”
Austin sits next to me and pulls me into his lap. “Of course I can. As long as you let me be a perfectly normal guy who wants to be assured the girl he loves is protected. It’s a testosterone thing.” He kisses me softly. “But, I see where you’re coming from. Your health was all your parents talked about tonight. Have they even asked you about your job and what you’re doing?”
“Well, of course. Though it always comes back to the epilepsy. It’s so weird to be so one-dimensional to my family. First I was the pretty pageant girl. Then the erratic epileptic. My mom loved the idea of me being the quarterback’s wife, I think she thought somehow that would protect me.” I grab his thigh and squeeze. “She’s was on board when I decided not to tell Devon, by the way. That was in the beginning and then…well, it became hard to come clean as time went on.”
Austin sucks his lips all the way in and looks away. Nods.
“What did I say?” I cup his face and move it toward me so he’s looking at me.
He narrows his eyes as if he’s thinking about how to say what he needs to say, then comes out with it. “I’d like it if we put Devon in the past. Whatever you had or didn’t have with him is irrelevant to me. I’m focused on our future as a couple. I don’t need to hear why things didn’t work out with you and him. It makes me feel…”
“Jealous?” I cock my head.
“Not exactly.” He runs his hand up and down my thigh. “Annoyed. Because I can relate to how he presumably felt if you were keeping things from him. Like shit. I don’t want you to treat me that way. It would make me feel like I don’t matter enough for you to get real with me.”
His words hit me deep in the gut. Is that how Devon felt? I certainly don’t think so. Everything revolved around him, not me. Either way, I definitely don’t want Austin to feel like he doesn’t matter to me. Because he does. So much it scares me.
“I love you, Austin. I’m truly glad all of this is out in the open.” I curl up in his lap and rest my head on his shoulder. “Devon is my past, I bring it up because I want to learn from the mistakes I made in a relationship that mattered to me so I don’t screw things up with you.”
Austin tips us over on the couch and cages my upper body in with his arms. Kisses me long and deep. “You won’t screw things up. We’re each other’s future.”
“Speaking of which, how far in the future will the food be here?” I blow a raspberry on his cheek.
He reaches for his phone to check the delivery status.
This beautiful man has become so important to me in such a short period of time. He allows me to be myself and loves me for it. He’s stood by my side in the face of some heavy family drama.
I’m not going to let anyone—or anything—come between us.
Chapter twenty-three
Austin
The Next Afternoon
After such an emotional and weird day, Shay and I slept in.
Admittedly, we were up most of the night because I can’t keep my hands off her. When she’s curled up next to me naked in my bed, what am I supposed to do? I can’t help myself.
My head is also spinning because of how quickly my plans changed. Yesterday, before Miles found out about us, I planned on spending the day on my own playing video games. Now, Shay and I get to make a memory of our first Thanksgiving together—and she’s staying all weekend, if not longer.
I’m relieved she doesn’t want to go back to her parents’ house. I’m not ready to see Miles and I don’t want to relive the “are you going to take care of Shay” conversation with her folks. I want a normal day with my girlfriend.
For now I’m breathing in the warm aroma of roasted turkey mingling with the rich scent of buttery mashed potatoes, herb-infused stuffing, and tangy cranberry sauce. We also have caramelized brussels sprouts and a creamy green bean casserole topped with crispy onions. I can’t wait to dig in.
Shay suggested we eat our leftovers from last night for dinner, but I wanted to have a real feast. I called in a favor and Canlis sent food over this afternoon together with a sous chef to finish cooking. Everything is ready, all I have to do is take the turkey and side dishes out of the warmer.
My housekeeper popped over earlier and set two place settings on one side of my enormous dining table. I’m convinced she bought updated place settings because I’ve never seen the gold-rimmed plates and crystal glasses before. There’s also a beautiful arrangement of autumn flowers. A perfect decoration for a perfect day. I set up the food on the opposite side of the table.
Shay enters the room wearing an oversized sweatshirt and not much else. Her eyes wide with amazement. “Wow, Austin. So fancy. This looks incredible.”
“I wanted it to be special for us.” I pull out a chair for her.
She sits and takes in all the food. “We’ll never need to buy groceries again.”
