Page 7 of Saints Like Him

Nick clawed his way out of a weird dream and jackknifed into a sitting position. Unfortunately, his subconscious had been too concerned with survival and forgot about his injured shoulder. The jarring motion sent pain shooting from his shoulder down to his elbow like lightning bolts of misery. Nick’s fingers twitched as if he were a puppet and his master pulled on invisible strings. He clenched his teeth and breathed deeply through his nose until the discomfort subsided. Nick turned his fuzzy brain to figuring out where the hell he was. His surroundings were pitch black, and nothing felt familiar until a particular scent combination tickled his nose. Pine, bourbon, and wood smoke. Cash.

His memory returned in fractured bits that made zero sense. Nick closed his eyes again and breathed in Cash’s scent to stave off the rising panic so he could remember exactly what had happened. Campfire sex. The words came out of nowhere and reverberated around his head. The fog eased until he recalled a snippet of conversation. Nick knew damn well that he’d never had sex with Cash near a campfire. But you sure as hell brought it up to him. Nick blinked a few more times and his vision adjusted a little better in the dark. Or maybe the cloud cover shifted to let moonlight shine through the wall of windows across from the bed.

He was in Cash’s room…alone. If it were daylight, Nick would have a glorious view of the Rocky Mountains. He hadn’t immediately recognized the space. Nick had never spent the night there and had only briefly seen Cash’s inner sanctum when his best friend had moved into his gorgeous home. Nick lay back down and fisted the soft sheets under his body. His next breath came easier and the one after was almost normal. He scrubbed a hand over his face and tried his best to clear the cobwebs. He reviewed the fragmented memories and shuffled them around until they formed a clearer picture of what happened after he’d arrived at Cash’s. The kiss, the rimming reference, and the omelet in the kitchen. Nick trying his best to get Cash to talk about their weekend tryst all those years ago but still coming up short. He’d admitted that Cash had ruined him for other men. Well, he’d said he thought so, which Cash had pounced on. Nick turned the tables on him soon after, and he was almost sure Cash had flirted with him.

Nick growled when he remembered telling Cash about his broken cock, the trips to his doctor and therapist, and his belief that Cash could fix him. “Fuck me.” Nick remembered that glorious tingling below that signaled all wasn’t lost for him. But Cash had undressed him with impassive hands and tucked him into bed like he would a child. Nick groaned and pulled his pillow over his head. Had he destroyed twelve glorious years of friendship in one night by running his mouth? Maybe he could blame it on the muscle relaxers.

“Yes, Nicky. You’ve ruined me for other men too.”

Nick’s breath caught in his throat, and the backs of his eyes stung with impending tears. He hadn’t imagined Cash saying that after tucking him in. Life couldn’t be that cruel. Fear paralyzed Nick for a moment before he calmed down and willed his limbs to move. He gingerly threw back the covers and sought Cash’s hiding spot. Nick didn’t think he would sleep in a different room after Nick practically begged Cash to sleep with him. Had his insomnia returned?

Once on his feet, Nick noticed a need more pressing than finding Cash. A soft night-light plugged into the opposite wall helped him find the double doors that opened to the massive closet. Nick pulled them open and soft interior lights came on. Cash had called it smart lighting. He had the brightness programmed to match the time of day. The hardwood floors continued into the walk-in closet, and Nick couldn’t help but stop and look around the space. Double rows of clothes racks lined one side, and shoe racks and dressers were on the other. Built-in shelves held folded sweaters and hats in a variety of colors. Cash had placed a tufted ottoman near the shoes and boots. Nick figured it was to sit on while slipping on footwear, but it would make an excellent place to get bent over and fucked. Nick’s cock might be hibernating like a bear, but there was nothing wrong with his imagination. If only he could sync the two.

The bathroom was on the other side of the closet, and the lights there also came on when Nick stepped onto the ceramic tile. He noticed the door leading out to Cash’s patio sanctuary was slightly ajar. Was he soaking in the hot tub? Nick took care of business and headed out the heavily tinted door. Nick had thought it was odd to have an entrance in the bathroom, but it made sense to Cash’s fastidious mind. Chlorine would damage the hardwood in his bedroom, and Cash would want to shower before getting into bed anyway. He’d added a privacy screen outside the door and chosen black glass as an additional safeguard. His crew wouldn’t wander back to his private quarters anyway, and the wildlife wouldn’t gossip about any naked asses they might witness.

The patio was L-shaped with a small outdoor dining area to the left and a grill and a bar to the right. The sound of bubbling water reached Nick’s ears, and he was certain his instincts hadn’t let him down. He snagged a bottle of water out of the mini fridge in the bar and rounded the corner. Cash reclined in the hot tub with his head tilted back on the rest and eyes closed. A bottle of red wine and an empty glass sat on the edge of the tub. Cash had chosen subdued lighting for relaxation, and the blissful expression on Cash’s face showed it was working. The frothing water called to Nick, but he’d imposed enough already. He was just about to retreat when Cash’s gruff voice stopped him in his tracks.

“You just going to ogle me all night, or are you getting in?”

The ER doc had suggested he ice his shoulder several times a day, but the hot tub sounded better. He’d worry about swelling and inflammation later. After setting the water bottle next to Cash’s wine, he eased his sling off and set it on the chaise. Nick hooked his thumb in the waistband of his underwear and debated whether he should strip those off too. Cash lifted his head, and his heavy-lidded gaze seemed like a dare. Nick wasn’t one to back away from a challenge—real or imagined—and pushed his briefs down his legs and kicked them aside. He didn’t strike a power pose or puff out his chest, but he submitted himself for perusal. Cash’s fiery gaze blazed a trail down his body, and Nick felt it as strongly as any caress. When their eyes met again, Cash didn’t bother to mask his desire. Nick felt wanted and closer to whole for the first time in too long. That warmth stirred low in his belly again, and he vowed to be patient like his therapist had said.

Nick put one foot in front of the other, because sometimes that was all a person could do, until he reached the steps to the hot tub. There was no rail to hold on to, but Nick wasn’t concerned about navigating three steps with one arm cradled against his chest. Cash apparently wasn’t as confident because he stood up with all the power and grace of Poseidon. Water sluiced down his gorgeous, fit body, putting everything from his lower thighs and up on display. That was when Nick nearly lost his balance on the top step and pitched headfirst into the hot tub. Cash was there before catastrophe could strike. He steadied Nick with two firm hands on his hips, putting Cash’s eyes at cock level.

Cash let go of his hips and reached for his free hand to assist him down the steps into the water. Nick tightened his grip on Cash’s hand when his feet landed safely on the bottom of the hot tub and followed Cash back to the corner he’d occupied. The seat was large enough for two people, but Nick squeezed in beside him like it was a tighter fit. He loved the friction of Cash’s hairy legs against his and bit back a sigh when his little toe brushed against Cash’s foot.

Nick didn’t know what time it was, and he didn’t really care unless Cash was out here hiding from him. “Did I run you out of your bed?”

“No. I fell asleep a little while after you but didn’t stay that way for long.”

“Insomnia?”

“Too soon to tell.” His deep sigh expressed his frustration more than words could. “It’s more sporadic than what I’ve experienced in the past, so I hope it’s temporary.”

Nick rested his hand on Cash’s leg, and his thigh muscles tensed beneath his fingertips. Maybe Nick had surprised him with the brazenly intimate touch after twelve years of platonic interactions. He debated whether to remove his hand for a few seconds, but then he felt Cash relax. It took every ounce of willpower he had to keep still and not reacquaint himself with Cash’s body. Nick’s fingers spasmed a few times as if in protest, but he behaved himself. “I remember everything I told you, and I don’t regret it.” He didn’t tell Cash that he’d also heard his whispered declaration.

“I’m glad you told me, but I wish you’d done so earlier,” Cash replied. “There was no need for you to struggle through this alone.”

Nick attempted to lean his head against Cash’s shoulder, but their differences in height made the angle awkward. Undeterred, Nick slid a little lower in the tub so he could find the perfect alignment. His hand also shifted on Cash’s leg, but at least it was lower and not brushing against his cock.

“I could say the same for you,” Nick told him. “You can tell me what’s keeping you up at night. Are you having trouble with Salvation Anew again?”

Cash drew in a long shaky breath, but Nick wasn’t sure if it was due to his nearness or the mention of the cult. “Nah. They’ve retreated to their compound and stayed pretty quiet since your brother implemented his genius PR plan.”

Nick smiled at the respect Cash’s voice held for Rory and the slick way he’d diverted the conversation away from himself. Nick wasn’t really in the mood to talk about his boner-killing burnout either. Since Rory was a favorite subject, Nick would table their truth spilling. For now. “So many people underestimate my brother, myself included occasionally, which is a big mistake.” The guy could move mountains when he was in full-throttle mode, and it was obvious how much the ranch and crew motivated Rory. “I’ve never heard Rory sound so happy, Cash. I can’t thank you enough for that.”

Cash covered Nick’s hand on his thigh, sliding his fingers between Nick’s. That simple touch ignited a spark in Nick’s body. Could he stoke it and start a fire? His eyes drifted shut, and he imagined himself sitting between Cash’s parted thighs—his back to Cash’s front and a hard dick nestled against his ass. The water would bubble all around them as Cash explored every inch of skin he could reach, paying special attention to the inches that had gone dormant. Nick would lean his head back against Cash’s shoulder and nuzzle his nose against his neck to breathe his scent in deeper. Cash’s caress would be thorough and all-consuming until Nick felt his touch everywhere—even the parts Cash couldn’t reach. Wasn’t that the mark of a truly skilled lover? You could still feel them inside you even when you were apart like they’d branded you during lovemaking.

“I can’t take any responsibility for Rory’s happiness here,” Cash said, killing Nick’s diabolical plan by invoking his brother’s name. “Ivan gets a lot of the credit, but Rory is the one who put in the effort. I think he just needed a safe place to work through some things.”

“Like me.” Nick gave in to his urge to nuzzle his nose into Cash’s neck. “God, you smell so good.”

“Same stuff I’ve been using for going on two decades.”

Nick had adored his scent then too. “One shouldn’t mess with a good thing.” He wanted to take the words back before Cash realized cuddling with him would blur the lines they’d drawn. Come to think of it, neither of them had verbally drawn lines. They’d both assumed things by not engaging in sex and had relegated one another to the friend zone.

“Life is interesting,” Cash said thoughtfully.

“How so?”

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