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They would consider past injustices and wonder if I’d had a hand in them.
Begging my friend to understand, I whispered, “I will be alienated.”
“That doesn’t… make any sense. You’re not very good with a sword.” Calculations were adding up in her brilliant mind, as it all occurred to her at once. Her standing would be rocked by this as well. Including the rank of top in her class, which she'd been busting her ass for years to achieve. “Are you?”
Yes. I was. “I don’t want your position, but he’s going to force me to take it away unless… I put my name onthe list.”
Relief flashed in her green eyes. “Then do it! I know you wouldn’t do this to me.”
I knew exactly how she felt, that hysterical terror that everything she’d worked so hard for was about to be stolen. But I could not put my name onthe list. “I’m so sorry, Maeve, but I’m not ready to mate. Whoever heard my song would never let me go into the fog.”
Stricken, it was her turn to share her horror. “You've betrayed me. You've betrayed all of us….”
“Not on purpose.” Hearts breaking, I didn’t know how to fix anything. All I knew was that I could not stand to think one of my sisters might hate me. “No one was supposed to know.”
But it was too late. Her body language went from informal to stiff, Maeve already hardening her mind against her old friend. “Is my life some kind of joke to you? You’re going to just sweep in and take everything away, because you don’t want to submit to a man? You don’t even want rank!”Or do you?Her unspoken suspicion was right on her face.
I was going to be sick. Reaching out for her, I said, “It’s not personal. I swear.”
Yanking herself out of my grasp, she spat, “The hell it isn’t! I have plans, you know.”
And that was the pure tragedy in all of this. “So did I.”
Maeve gave me a measured look of disgust—one made all the worse by the unbearable sadness beneath it. I had been one of her best friends, and now, she’d grieve the girl who’d been nothing but a lie.
Storming out, she slammed my door with the full strength of a hybrid female.
Knowing exactly how she felt, knowing I was done for in the sisterhood, I crawled right back into bed and stared at the wall. Numb and so very lonely.
6
It was deep into a moonless night when I heard them outside my door. Stealth was not Agnes’s strong suit, the unmistakable cadence to her steps giving her away upon approach. The rest of them though, they moved silently.
At least three of my sisters had come to collect their pound of flesh.
Of course, they would.
I was a danger to them now.
A threat.
Softly clicking, the latch was manipulated.
My eyes may have been closed, my body in repose, but I had not slept properly since General Cyderial had stolen my dream away. I was awake, half dizzy with exhaustion, and fully intending to capitulate to the beating I had coming.
“God, she stinks!” Though spoken lowly, Agnes, one of my sweetest sisters, did not attempt to hide her intrusion. I could even see her fanning the odor away from her face.
Maeve spoke next, tone impassive. “I told you.”
Tamsyn, a dangerous female to antagonize, muttered, “Let’s get this over with.”
Hands came, rough and pinching, harsh as I was wound up in my sheets.
I had intended to submit, but instinct led me to lash out when their claws found flesh, but it was a pathetic effort. Outnumbered, I had given them the advantage in every way.
I was starving. I was exhausted. I grieved the loss of the fog more than I remembered grieving the loss of my mother.
Deeply sorry for myself, I just wanted it to be over.
