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Would it? Perhaps. “Miranda spoke of you as if you were some kind of god to our people. I’ve seen it myself, the deference you received from instructors and watchers. It’s in your eyes. That is not the stare of a sane man.”
Dragging his thumb over my lips, he said, “Everything I did was done out of love.”
“Obsession and love are not the same thing. Even I know that.” What a strange conversation to have bare-breasted and straddling a naked man who could do far worse than deny me the fog. He could deny me any freedom at all.
Abandoning his throat, I moved my touch over his collarbone, stroked his pectoral, and sought a hard abdomen—tracing his musculature as if learning his secrets, seeking weaknesses I could exploit.
Under me was a body I could touch any way I chose—a man I had been intimate with in acts that would have been incomprehensible to me a week prior.
A man my very wellbeing relied on now.
“Miranda told me you are a general who fought in an arena for human amusement and hybrid clout. She told me you defeated thousands for your rank. What kind of nightmare life would I have known if you had taken me at twelve? Who would I have grown up to be? You waited… and went mad, forcing every recruit to suffer in recompense.” I went back to those eyes, those unhinged, unblinking green eyes. “You’ve done unspeakable things, Cyderial.”
He sought my compassion. “There is so much you do not understand about the world.”
“So I’ve heard.” Leaning back, having denied him a willing kiss, I shook my head. “Still, I would not have terrified children.”
He caught my wrist, pulling me closer to steal the kiss I refused him. Once it was done, he breathed over my lips. “I needed you to be strong. We are on the brink of war with the humans. Is that what you would have me tell children? That they might never grow up at all? That human males traffic hybrid little girls? That human females will work to seduce unmated males for the novelty of hybrid cock? That they will turn on each other just as soon as they will turn on us? Even as my mate, you will be propositioned by overreaching men. They will want to know what color your slit is. Is it pink? Blue? Purple—that is quite rare. On the black market, you would fetch a high price. Some will try to mislead you, offer favors for our kind if you will let them have a quick fuck behind closed doors. Before we trained the females to kill more than just vorec, mates were often raped. Sometimes en masse before cheering crowds. So the strongest of us gave them something else to cheer for. Pageantry and violence. When new generations began to see us as heroes, arena fights were made illegal. Men in power afraid we might be seen as more than cannon fodder or exotic pets.”
Defending myself against one man and his meat stick would not be a challenge on any level. Confused, I said, “But I am stronger than a human.”
Cupping my cheek, he looked upon me with so much love. “But there are so many more of them, Lorieyn. They keep breeding as if they’d already forgotten how humanity ruined the planet they left behind. The city is at capacity, and provisions are rationed. It has made them desperate to blame anyone but themselves. Desperate humans are vicious. Such men attack in groups or will wait until you are weak with heat. If you were left suffering long enough, you might mindlessly beg any male at all to ease your pain. I’ve seen recordings of such things. I’ve seen broken bodies. I’ve seen little girls damaged beyond repair. I will not put the burden of these thoughts in the heads of children, not when I can mold little ones into dangerous soldiers trained to defend themselves. If the humans suspected what I was doing within the academy….”
It was a slippery slope to make such a wide assumption about an entire species. I disagreed. “Humans are not all bad. Not one I have ever interacted with would give me the impression that—”
Pressing his fingers to my lips, he interrupted, “I personally vetted each human in your cadre of farmers. I selected the location of your vigil, personally chose the hybridsto guard the walls at your back, and scheduled the days you would be allowed some fresh air. Often, I was even standing in the fog, watching over you. I was there the day the vorec broke your leg when you were seventeen. When it happened, I think I lost about a thousand years off my life.”
I pulled his touch from my lips, scowling. “Allowed fresh air?”
“Your face has always been an open book, every expression a delight.” He traced the shape of my scowl with a smirk. “When you’ve been insulted, you become especially fierce.”
Irritated that he could get under my skin so easily, I hissed, “How would you feel to find out your whole life was one grand lie? That you grew up in a fishbowl so your tormentor might groom you to his unhinged standards? I’m not an exotic pet, Cyderial! Do you treat me any differently than the human men you spoke of? Sex, secrets, trickery, flattery—for what?”
He said it simply. “So I can know the woman I love is safe.”
His mania was too much, my agitated rejoinder keen. “And who keeps me safe fromyou?”
Hand sliding behind my neck, he drew me near to breathe the words against my lips. “Anyone, hybrid or human, who tried to keep me from you would suffer a painful death at my hands. Every last human in this city would die screaming in the fog if that’s what it took.”
Ice ran through my veins when I realized he meant every last word. “Is that what you’re planning to do to them?”
Utterly sincere, he replied, “If I must.”
Our conversation had taken a shadowy turn, and in the gloom lurked the whisper of some dark truth I hadn’t quite grasped. He was scaring me again. “My mother lives in the city. Her children and relations.”
Flippant, he stole a daring kiss from my lips. “Then they better not try to take you from me. It is as simple as that.”
I already knew him to be unmerciful toward those suffering through the rigors of the academy. For ten years, he had deceived and misled me, time and time again. General Cyderial, my bonded mate, was the master of misdirection, of distraction.
And he did nothing in small measure.
Already teasing my body to life with doting touches, as if to draw me away from the horror of my suspicions. Already working to unravel my thoughts, so I might smile at him and purr.
Because I understood exactly what he vowed. I had already lived it.
There was far more at stake here than heat, addiction, or even my own happiness.
Selfish intentions or not, Miranda’s wisdom had been more valuable than female guidance. It was a dangerous warning. Every choice I made had power to contain the insatiable general—or to unleash him. Every mistake would have a consequence.
