Page 38 of The Light Within


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He stills at my words and I can see him turning them over and examining them before he slowly exhales. “I know you’re right…”

“But it’s hard to convince yourself, huh? Much easier to wrap the guilt around yourself and keep your feelings buried deep. And the happy-go-lucky guy full of jokes convinces nearly everyone that you don’t carry around any deep burdens or remorse.”

A slow smile crosses his face. “Everyone except Dad… then Max… then Will… and now you.”

I raise a brow. “The people who care enough to get to knowyouwill always see through the façade you try to hide behind.” Pausing, I gauge the words I’m about to say, then decide to say them. “I noticed you didn’t include Vanessa on that list.”

He winces, then groans. Removing his hand from mine, he puts his head in them, his fingers tugging at his hair. After several beats, he lifts his head. “We’re communicating, Everleigh. Trying to work through some things.”

Nodding thoughtfully, I bite my lip. “Has Vanessa failed to try to get to know the vulnerable person you hide inside? Or has she pushed too much and you’ve shut her out?”

His breathing becomes deeper, chest pushing out against his long-sleeved t-shirt as he slouches against the back of the chair. “Maybe both? She pushed a lot in the beginning, but I was careful. I…” He runs a hand through his hair, making it stand up. “I don’t want to be hurt again like that. I was devastated when Monica killed herself and I didn’t see it coming.” Grabbing his coffee, he takes a swig, his hand squeezing the cup as anger fills him. “After a while, it seemed she stopped trying to dig deeper and I resented her for it. I know that’s unfair as hell…”

“It is, but I get it. Who doesn’t want someone to prove they love us enough to keep digging no matter how much we try to push them away? It shows they really care. And when they don’t… we think the opposite.”

He studies my face for a few beats. “I wish Monica could have met you. Your strength and genuine concern and your ability to see straight through the bullshit to the heart of the matter may have been exactly what she needed.” He slowly sets his coffee cup on the table.

I lean closer to the table, my eyes imploring him to believe me. “You didn’t fail her, Darin. At all. There’s no guarantee that even if she had met me and had me in her life, the outcome would have been any different." Gauging his reaction to my words, I switch the conversation back to Vanessa to keep digging to see if my theory is correct. “Is part of your issue with Vanessa due to her kissing Will?”

Darin’s spine snaps straight and hurt flashes through his eyes before the anger settles over him. His hands reach out and clench around his coffee cup. “That’s part of it.”

“And the other part is how she reacted when Irelynn returned home from captivity, correct?”

He explodes. “Vanessa had no business going off on my friends like that. Especially Irelynn and Max, who had been through something so fucking traumatic. It’s as though Vanessa wasn’t even listening to what Irelynn was trying to tell her. Irelynn was so conflicted when she was telling us what happened. And I’ll be honest, at the time, I fuckinghatedWill. I wanted to kill him. But when she told us about how he was with her and that he prevented Damian from raping her, I realized there was far more to it. Did I agree with what he did?Hell no.But there was a ton of history between Irelynn and Will. They were able to work through it and I saw how much Irelynn had matured from the situation.” His jaw clenches tightly before he spits out, “And then Vanessa had the fucking nerve to insult Irelynn’s parents. Jack and Rosalyn McDaniel are the nicest people. They were shocked when Vanessa snapped at them.” His breathing is ragged and he leans back in his chair, trying to rein in his temper.

He changes the subject to one less controversial. “Jack and Dad have become close since your engagement party. They watch football together, work on Jack’s old car on the weekends, and it sounds like Jack has convinced dad to join the bowling league.”

My mind is having problems processing all Darin has said, yet didn’t say. He feels betrayed by Vanessa in many ways. And he’s taking it personally that she insulted his friends, which includes Irelynn’s parents. And now with Jack and our dad becoming friends, Darin is even more resentful that Vanessa went off on Jack.

It’s quite apparent Darin is extraordinarily loyal to those he cares for.

Inwardly, I cringe, wondering if I can help save him and Vanessa, or if too much damage has been done to ever fix them?

After changing into a pair of sweatpants and a long-sleeved t-shirt, I head to join Will and Bryan in our kitchen. As I’m sliding into a chair beside Will, my phone beeps. Looking at it, I see a text from Savannah, who spent the day with Vanessa.

Savannah:Hey. Would you mind if I hung out with you? Vanessa can drop me off at your house.

Me:Sure, no problem. Come on over.

Savannah:Thank you. I’ll be there in three minutes.

“Savannah is on her way over, huh?” Will’s voice pulls my attention from my phone. As I turn my head to Will, I see Bryan freeze, his shoulders taut, before he lifts the water bottle to his lips.

Nodding, my gaze moves to Will. He’s studying Bryan, but his attention quickly turns to me. A smirk curls my lips.Too late, love. I can read you just as well as you read me.“Yup. She’ll be here in a few.” My tone is casual, but I’m hyper aware of Bryan’s reaction. He looks awkward, yet there’s an undercurrent of excitement as he shifts in his chair.

When my gaze locks with Will’s, he smirks at me, then shakes his head in defeat, as though he’s well aware it’s a lost cause.

There’s no way in hell I’m going to refrain from finding out what happened between Savannah and Bryan last night.

eleven

William

Thefighthasbeenarranged between me and Savage Rob for the Saturday night after Thanksgiving. Adrenaline courses through my veins. It’s been far too long since I’ve stepped inside the ring. But more than that, sometimes I fear I’m getting too soft.

William hasn’t come out since the night Everleigh faced Ainsley. And though I know that part of me is cloaked in darkness and doesn’t have much of a place in my current life with Everleigh, I always want to feed the monster within. It’s imperative he be vigilant, always ready to protect my soon-to-be wife, as well as my unborn children.

I’ll be damned if I’ll let anyone hurt them.

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