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“Or how about the fact that it was me who did all of the grocery shopping. It was me who made a deal with the delivery man to honk his horn at the bottom of the driveway and I’d collect the packages. Or how about just the fact that when she cried, when she got so upset she could barely breathe, it wasmewho comforted her because you and Dad were gone.” I paused, pulling in a shaky breath. “You were fuckin’ gone, Romeo.”
Silence stretched between us, Romeo’s features shuttering closed as he mulled over what I’d said. For days on end all I’d been thinking about was all the times I’d been left to pick up the pieces. I’d put everything on hold growing up, just to make sure she wasn’t home alone. But now I was done. I was done living for everyone else.
I’d live for myself. I’d do what made me happy. And in that moment, that was not being here. So I took one final look at my brother, walked to his door, then paused as he murmured, “I’m sorry, Raf. I didn’t know.” I turned to look at him. “If I had known…”
He didn’t need to say anything else. I could read between the lines. I could decipher what he was saying. And right then, that was all I needed to move forward, after all, he wasn’t just my big brother but also my captain.
“I have my cell on.”
He nodded, knowing that I was telling him that I was done hiding. I was done running away. I was here to stay. I was here to live. I was here to do what I wanted when I wanted. And that included the single mom who lived next door.
* * *
PEYTON
“Remember,” I told Kian and Reed as we waited at Bailey’s front door for someone to open it. “Best behavior, okay?” I wasn’t sure why I was saying that to them because Kian never misbehaved, and Reed…well…he actuallywasthe reason I was saying it. He could be a little terror when he wanted to.
“Yes, Mom,” Kian replied, holding on to my hand tight. He was nervous, which made two out of the three of us. Whereas Reed, he just wanted to be around people and have as much attention focused on him as possible. Kian was the opposite, hating to be around more than a couple of people. And me? I was nervous for just one person…Rafael Pagani.
I felt my cheeks heat as I thought about him standing between my legs in my kitchen three days ago, his lips on—
“You’re here!” Bailey announced as she swung the door open. She was taking Reed out of my arms before I knew it and beckoning us all inside. Reed lapped it up, meanwhile Kian held on to my hand tighter.
“Are we late?” I asked, hearing voices as we walked in.
“No,” Bailey said as I shut the door behind Kian and me. He didn’t let go of my hand and I was good with that. We were keeping each other rooted, something my son shouldn’t have been doing, but it was the reality right now. “You’re just the last ones here.” She bounced on the spot, making Reed giggle. She was a big ball of energy, her excitement overwhelming.
“Last ones?” I frowned as we followed her through the living room, then the kitchen, and out into the backyard.
I paused in the doorway to the huge glass sliding doors that were framed in black, blinking at the amount of people here. There couldn’t have been more than ten people altogether, not including us, but I only recognized three of their faces, Bailey, Romeo, and Rafael.
“I…” I bit down on my bottom lip, trying to get my legs to work, but they were frozen to the spot, my ears thumping as a body moved closer to me, then crouched down in front of Kian.
“Hey there, little man.” Romeo. It was Romeo.
“Hi,” Kian responded, moving from one foot to the other.
“Peyton?” Bailey called. I snapped my attention to her and watched as she pointed at two empty spaces on the bench. She’d been so excited about this huge wooden table with two benches that could easily fit sixteen people around it when it was delivered last week. I hadn’t understood why she’d gone with one so big…until now. “Come sit.”
My body jerked forward, my words escaping me as I silently walked past Romeo with Kian’s hand still firmly placed into mine. I felt like a robot, like I didn’t know how to act or what to do. Memories were bombarding me, but I was holding strong, keeping them at bay as I placed Kian on the bench, then slowly lowered down next to him at the end.
“Everyone?” The conversation died down. “This is Peyton, she lives next door.” I felt my cheeks burning as all attention moved to me—attention that I didn’t want or need. “Peyton, you already know Romeo and Raf.” I glanced up at her as she held Reed so effortlessly on her hip and he played with her hair, twirling it around his chubby fingers. I refused to look at Raf, not willing to let myself think about the last time I was in the same place as him. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t feel the burning of his eyes on me.
“This is Lorenzo and Aida.” She pointed to the couple opposite me. He had a stern-looking face while hers was kind. “Dante—Lorenzo’s brother—and Navy, and their little boy, Dario.” I smiled this time, a genuine smile as I looked at the boy sitting on Navy’s lap, close in age to Reed.
“Hi,” I greeted, waving awkwardly at them all.
They all greeted in various ways, but as soon as they had, normal conversation resumed, and I was more glad than anything because I didnotneed that attention on me. Not from these people—these men. I’d grown up around men like this, been seated next to men like this.
I knew who they were without having to ask. And if the way everyone kept looking over at Lorenzo and Aida was anything to go by, he was the one in charge here. Just like my brother was back home.
Making a mental note of it, I pulled in a deep breath, hating that I’d been caught off guard by who was here. When Bailey had asked yesterday if we wanted to come for a barbecue, I’d thought it was just us, but now I was sitting around a table with a Mafia boss, and the man who had kissed me like his life depended on it.
Fuck. I looked. I looked at him and the woman sitting next to him, laughing her head off like she’d just heard the funniest joke in the world.
It was fake. She was fake. Shit. I shouldn’t be thinking like that. I didn’t know who she was. I didn’t—
“Yeah, that’s how we feel too,” a voice opposite me murmured. I blinked, focusing on Aida as she pushed some hair behind her ear and grimaced. “She’s been hanging around for a while, trying to get his attention.” She rolled her eyes, looking around as she lowered her voice. “Looks like he finally gave in.”
