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That would have started a war though. A war happening across state lines. It wouldn’t have been good for anyone. Men would have been lost on both sides, not to mention the fact that the FBI and other letter agencies would have gotten involved, putting us even more on their radar.
Choosing Peyton in that moment would have wreaked havoc. This was the right thing to do—that was what I told myself on repeat as the SUV pulled away from the sidewalk. So why did it feel like my chest was being ripped open and my heart cut out with a blunt knife? Why did it feel like I was breaking apart, screaming from the inside where no one could hear me.
The pain was almost unbearable as I stood there, my feet glued to the ground, not able to look away from the road that they’d driven down.
“Raf?” Romeo shook my shoulder. “Come on, let’s go inside.”
I didn’t want to. All I wanted was to get in my car and drive after them, to follow her and tell her that none of this made sense, but that I didn’t have a choice in letting her go.
Had I just fed her to the wolves? Or had I done the right thing?
“Raf?” a new voice called, one that had my attention moving to it. Bailey stood in the doorway of her house, a reminder that my brother had gotten the woman that he wanted, but me…I was having to give her up.
She lied to you.The thought stuck to me like superglue. Maybe shehadlied to me, but…what if there was a reason? What if she was just trying to protect herself? Or was I trying to find any excuse possible?
“Come inside,” Bailey continued, waving me in. She didn’t look surprised about what had transpired, which told me that she already knew.
“You knew,” I commented.
I wasn’t asking her, but she nodded anyway. “Romeo called on his way home.” She bit down on her bottom lip, her gaze moving to Romeo, seeking approval over what she just said. He’d told her time and time again that she didn’t need any kind of permission from him for anything, but after all she’d been through, she found it hard not to seek approval.
She wasn’t the only one who had been through stuff though. So had Peyton, at the hands of her sons’ dad. Or had she?
“Fuck!” I screamed, grasping my hair and pulling, needing some kind of physical pain in that moment. “I’m so fuckin’ confused.” I started pacing the driveway, knowing that Romeo would have hated the display I was putting on in the neighborhood, but I didn’t give a single shit. “None of this makes sense.”
“What doesn’t make sense?” Romeo growled, and when I turned to look at him, I saw Bailey right beside him, no longer waiting at the door to the house. Her features were that of concern, whereas Romeo just looked downright mad.
“All of it.” I threw my hands up in the air, grinding my teeth together. “The fact that she’s Ace’s sister. Her being married. The things I heard…” I shook my head, running my palm over my face to try and wake myself up. “The look in her eyes…” I stepped toward them, lowering my voice. “You don’t have that look in your eyes unless…”
“She fooled me too,” Bailey whispered, her hand clasping on to Romeo’s arm. “I didn’t want to believe it when Romeo called but…it makes sense, Raf.” She pulled away from Romeo and stepped toward me. “She was secretive, but in a way that meant she was covering something up.” She tilted her head to the side, staring up at me.
“We all have secrets,” I told her, moving backward. “You should know that better than anyone.” She frowned, the truth not sitting right with her, but in that moment, I didn’t care. They weren’t helping, not in the way I needed them to. “I…” I moved my attention to the house next door. “I can’t be here right now.”
“Don’t do anything stupid,” Romeo snapped, coming closer to me. “I mean it, Raf. You won’t just have me to answer to, but Dante and Lorenzo too.” His words hit home, reminding me who I was in the ranks and where I stood.
The reality was, it didn’t matter if I believed what Ace was saying or not, I couldn’t do nothing about it.
Peyton was gone.
The woman who had finally cracked through the hard exterior I’d created.
I was on my own again, in more ways than one, so with one final stare at her house, I spun around, got in my car, and sped out of the neighborhood, not knowing where the hell I was going but knowing I couldn’t be anywhere near here.
* * *
PEYTON
The car ride was silent apart from Kian’s soft sniffles, but Ace soon put an end to that by being his usual comical self and distracting him. He’d always been such a great uncle, at least, he had when he actually saw the boys. I could count on one hand the amount of times Ace had visited with Reed, yet, it was as if they were best friends with the way he was laughing at the faces his uncle pulled.
And here I was, my stomach in bits, my head spinning, knowing what I was going to return to. Every part of me wanted to know what story Travis had told Ace, but I could read between the lines. I knew how that man worked better than anyone, so it shouldn’t have surprised me that he’d worked his magic on his best friend, my big brother. Yet, it had.
Ace had always been that constant in my life, the one person who I could turn to no matter what. But as I sat in this enclosed space with him, my gaze veering over his jeans and leather jacket and up to his clean-shaven face and dark hair, I realized that he wasn’t the big brother who had protected me. Now, he was the big brother who was betraying me.
He tried to talk to me and make conversation, but I gave him the silent treatment. What was the point in saying words to him if he refused to actually listen to them? At this point, it didn’t matter what I said. He’d believed the wrong person and I…I didn’t know what to do with that.
Part of me wanted to tell him everything that had happened, right from that first time Travis had laid hands on me. But the reality was, he’d have just thought I was trying to tell lies, trying to build a narrative. Which would only serve to confirm whatever story Travis had told him. I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t.
You should have left the day Travis turned up.
