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My heart was in my throat, my head spinning for an entirely new reason now, but it was as I looked up and saw Rafael standing in the kitchen doorway with Reed still attached to him that I truly realized what Kian had said.
“I…” I didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what to do. I was shell-shocked, I was…I was…I didn’t knowwhatI was.
“Why don’t you watch your little brother and I’ll fix Mommy up?” Rafael said, his eyes turning darker as he stepped toward us. Kian didn’t move from right in front of me though. He was waiting for me to say something, waiting for direction from the adult who should have been protecting him this entire time but hadn’t.
“Go on, sweet boy,” I told him, barely able to get the words out from around the massive lump in my throat. “I’ll only be a couple of minutes.”
He blinked up at me, his mouth turning down for a second, and then he spun around, heading for Rafael who held his hand out to him. Kian took it like he’d been holding that man’s hand for years, like it wasn’t even a second thought and…I had no idea what I was supposed to think about that.
And if I was honest, I didn’t have the energy to think about what was happening here, or what Kian had just said to me. The back of the chair was keeping me from slumping down as I closed my eyes and waited for just a second.
“Where’s your first aid kit?” Rafael’s rough voice asked. I didn’t bother opening my eyes as I told him where it was—in the first cupboard for easy access.
I wasn’t used to having help from anyone, and although it felt nice, I couldn’t let it keep happening. I had to nip this in the bud as soon as I could, so when the sound of his footsteps came closer, I opened my eyes and told him, “Thank you for your help, but you can go now.”
He made a noise in the back of his throat, ignoring me as he placed the first aid kit down next to me, unzipped it, then pulled things out. “Extensive first aid kit you have here, Peyton.” I bit down on my bottom lip, refusing to answer him. He didn’t need to know why I had more than just the essentials. He didn’t need to know anything…yet, he did. He knew because he’d heard Kian say something and—
“Move your hand.” His words cut off my train of thought, but I didn’t quite process what he’d said until he crouched down in front of me and pulled my hand away from my arm. Some of the blood had dried now, but it was still bleeding. Not as much as before, but still enough to cause droplets on my kitchen floor.
“I can do it myself, you know,” I gritted out as Rafael wiped away the dried blood, then swiped along the wet blood to look at the cut.
“No doubt you can, Peyton,” he replied, an edge to his tone. He didn’t say another word as he meticulously cleaned me up and placed some butterfly stitches over the cut, then covered it in a wide, square dressing.
He grabbed another wipe, continuing down my arm and to my wrist, taking all of the dried blood away, and I could do nothing but watch him. His long tan fingers encircled the entirety of my forearm, holding me in place. But it was the way his touch had me on the edge of my seat that was the most confusing.
“I’m good now, Raf,” I whispered, shortening his name.
He glanced up, his lips lifting up on both sides into the widest grin. “I like the sound of my name coming from your lips.” Butterflies took flight in my stomach as he slowly stood, dropping the wipe on the table and grasping both arms of my chair. “But I know it’s a distraction.” He leaned in closer, his woodsy scent wrapping around me like the warmest blanket to ever exist. “I heard what the little man said, Peyton.”
I pulled in a stuttering breath as I stared right into his eyes and witnessed the whirling pools of rage. “It’s nothing.” I tried to laugh, but the sound was off even to my own ears.
“Nothing?” He tilted his head to the side, lowering his voice. “I can see it in your eyes, mama.” He paused, leaning in a little closer as he whispered, “I see the pain and anguish. It doesn’t matter how much you try to hide it; I can see through it.”
The silence stretched between us as neither of us moved. The sounds of Kian and Reed playing in the other room were mere background noise as I concentrated on the man ten years my junior.
“Raf,” I whispered, so low that only he could hear me. “Please…I…” I wasn’t sure what I was trying to say.
“Your secret is safe with me, mama.” He smiled, a sad kind of smile, then placed a soft kiss on my forehead.
I closed my eyes, breathing him in and enjoying the moment for what it was, because I knew it would be over too soon and I wanted to commit it to memory. I wanted to think about the way he spoke to me. I wanted to remember how he’d cleaned me up and helped the boys into the house without me even asking.
But most of all, I wanted to remember how he made me feel safe for the first time since I’d gotten married.
It was a feeling I hadn’t even realized I’d missed, not until that moment. Not until the prospect of being taken care of was right in front of my face.
But life was always a cruel bitch to me, because as fast as that feeling had come, it was gone again when Rafael walked out of my house, leaving me alone with my dark thoughts and my stinging arm.
I’d let my guard down today, but I wouldn’t again. I’d erect a steel wall around myself so that he couldn’t penetrate it. I needed to protect myself from Rafael, but not because I thought he would hurt me, but because Iknewhe wouldn’t.
Life was all about choices, and in that moment, I’d made the hardest one of all. I just didn’t realizewhatthat choice was.
* * *
RAFAEL
It didn’t matter how many times I tried to stop my gaze drifting over to the house next door, I just couldn’t help myself.
Three days.
