AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Me: And you are very persistent.
Violet: There is another reason for me being here.
Me: Oh yeah, what’s that?
My bedroom door swings open.
“Because I love you, Lincoln, and I’ve missed you.” She’s crying.
I immediately throw back the bedcovers and go to her.
“I don’t want to be apart from you ever again. I don’t like that feeling.” She clutches her chest.
I’ve never seen her like this before.
My chest tightens, reflecting this pain she is feeling.
“I’ve come all this way. Just me and my dog with a few of my belongings. To a strange, unfamiliar country where you all talk funny. It’s rained five times this week already. I’m so cold. And I don’t think I can do the job. I do not know what I am doing.” Her voice cracks.
“Petal,” I whisper. I’m lost for words. Tell her you love her, for Christ's sakes, man.
“I’m too scared to ask you directly if you want me here because I see what's going on behind your eyes; half of you wants me to stay, I think, but the other half is questioning everything about me, us, and begging me to leave.” Her shoulders bounce up and down as she pours out her thoughts she's been keeping in.
“I’m sleeping through there and you are here, and I’ve been trying to keep it all together and be strong, but I need to know if I did the right thing moving here, Linc.”
“Oh, Violet.” I loop my arms around her and press her tight against me. “Sh, sh, sh.” I rock her.
I’ve been selfishly thinking about myself with no thought of Violet living in a foreign country with no friends and no family.
She cries out, “It was supposed to be fun, a way to get you to snap out of your funk, surprising you and moving in, but when you saw me in your house it didn’t feel like fun. Knowing you didn’t want me here.” That’s not true. I do want her here.
She struggles to get her next words out. “I’m here because here is where you are. I would go wherever you are in the world to be with you because you make me feel special and like I finally belong somewhere. You made me feel like I am perfect just as I am back in Santa Monica, but over the last few days, I somehow feel like I’m not enough for you anymore and I don’t want to stay here if I’m not what you want.” She pauses, trying to catch her breath.
“You’re using your mom as an excuse not to let love in, while she is out there living her new life without a care in the world. She doesn’t care if you are upset or hurting, Lincoln. But I do. That’s why I am here. You hit the stop button on us, but I never got a say in it, and pressing stop was never what I wanted.”
As if someone has flicked the switch in my brain, everything appears clear in my mind.
She’s right. I’ve been a fool.
I rub my hand up and down her back to soothe her.
“Your father moved heaven and earth to bring you the girl who loves you, to prove to you that she means business.” She stutters as she tries to get her words out. “I am serious about us, but you need to meet me halfway. You need to open your heart to me and trust me. Trust that I will never break it. Trust me to piece whatever your mom broke back together. Because you broke mine when you left Santa Monica, and I’m not sure my heart could take it again if you turn around in a few weeks’ time and tell me to go back to America. I would rather go now.” She gasps for breath.
I thread my fingers into her hair and smoosh her into my chest. She must feel my heart beating faster than a prestissimo beat.
“I miss you, Linc. I miss your touch.” She pushes herself closer. “I miss us.” Her tears soak my bare chest.
“I miss everything,” I whisper.
I broke my girl.
She’s been so strong on the outside, keeping it all together for me, but she’s breaking, and I was too self-absorbed to see it.
I say the words I should have said the first day she arrived.
“I don’t want you to leave, Violet. I want you to stay with me.” She almost collapses in my arms when I tell her that and I momentarily have to hold her up.
The thought of her leaving now runs a rusty nail along the pit of my gut.
