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I don’t want that, even after the crater to my ribcage.
Needing to be somewhere small and dark, I crawl under the bathroom vanity and hug my knees.
Bishop and Jin are beautiful.
They’re powerful, dominant, and still so hypnotizing.
Of course they don’t want me.
I’d cry, but all my sockets do is sting.
No tears. This is old news.
The Serafina part is a forced-update that leaves my stomach digesting my exposed-to-air lungs, but I’ve known I was broken forever.
I was fifteen when I kissed Jin.
Scrawny, wearing Kayden or Jayden’s old cargo shorts with a shoelace for a belt. Vivian kept me in buzzcuts—said my hair clogged her drains—and I always wore a baseball hat.
The guys thought I was a boy, and I made sure they kept thinking that, terrified they’d kick a leftover little girl out of their crew.
Jin was a little older, his alpha pheromones just starting to spark. Being in the same room as him made my skin crackle.
I’d been avoiding him and the others for weeks, afraid they’d see through my lies. With them growing up and hitting their pre-awakening before me, I couldn’t figure out which smile I could wear that could possibly convince them not to leave me behind.
Bishop always ran fights.
Then, suddenly he was running them every night.
I overheard my foster brothers gossiping. “Reese Parker took a gang hit. Fucked up his whole arm. Barrington is scraping for cash.”
Late at night, I sprinted to the warehouse alone, hopping needles and risking getting shot.
Jin was in the cage. Blood-spattered, taking out his rage on some kid’s face. Dutch had to drag him out of the ring.
I never found out what happened, but I could feel Jin shouldering the blame.
Lost, angry.
His grief sliced like razors.
I followed him to the changing room.
His chest was heaving, his knuckles split, and there was so much blood and pain, all I wanted to do was take it away.
So I kissed Jin.
It was fast.
A press of lips, a butterfly landing on a stem.
He tasted like electricity.
Numbed my tongue.
Then my toes curled and my belly cramped in the scariest new way, and I knew. I couldn’t keep pretending to be friends.
I ran before I had to hear Jin say he didn’t feel the same, but I figured I had my answer when the pack disappeared.
