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God fucking dammit. I filled the crystal glass to the brim with whiskey, not caring that the liquid sloshed over the sides of the glass down my fingers and onto my pants. I should’ve fucking known that it couldn’t last. At least now I didn’t have to worry about losing her since I already had. She made the decision for me.
I threw myself into my work. Obsessively micromanaging the clubs and keeping on top of the other businesses. Every week, I met Levi in the ring and kicked his ass. Keeping my mind occupied was a shield protecting it from wandering too close to thoughts of Anna.
After a workout a few days later, Levi let me know that his father had agreed to meet with me. And now, I could focus on my mother again. Something to work towards, another brick to add to the wall that I was building around her.
Matthew McConnell’s mansion was a pitiful display of opulence and the wealth he had amassed from his time as the Kavanagh legal counsel. With marble statues and fountains and the pristinely manicured lawn, Matthew McConnell separated himself from the common class. Cars lined the drive as he was hosting a birthday party for his most recent wife. The Valet took my car as I made my way into the bar set up in the corner.
“Whiskey, neat.” The party was crowded and a black tie affair. Just as the outside boasted of wealth, the inside of the home looked like a boastful presence of disgusting wealth as well.
“Coming with me to a family party at my parents would not bring any extra attention, unlike requesting a lone meeting with my father with just the two of you. He wouldn’t meet with you any other way when I told him what you were asking about.” Levi explained as he stepped up next to me.
“He’s always been a smart man. When can I talk with him?”
Levi set down his glass, his expression cautious. “Are you sure you want to go down this road? Your mother has always been off-limits when it comes to your family.”
“I have to. I’ve stumbled upon some information that just doesn’t sound right. I have to know more about what happened that night.”
“Alright then. You know I have your back. My father’s office is the first door on the right at the top of the stairs.”
I set my glass down and made my way up the stairs, pushing away the uneasiness that crept up on me. If this meeting backfired on me, I could be in some major trouble.
“Come in.” I heard Matthew respond to my knocks. “Wilder. It has been a long time.”
“It has. I appreciate you meeting with me.” I acknowledged him, taking a seat in a plush armchair across from his large desk. He offered up a cigar and handed over the lighter.
“I am not sure what you are wanting to know. But asking about Kathryn could land you in hot water with Ryan. He was and still is unreasonable when it comes to your mother,” Matthew cautioned. He moved around the desk to the seat beside me, lighting up his cigar he coughed after just the first draw.
“I know,” I replied, staring at the cigar in my own hand. With others, I exuded control and commanded any situation I found myself in. But Matthew knew the formidable Kavanagh that I was—ruthless and violent when necessary, composed and collected when called for. He also knew the younger version of me, the child. “Can you tell me about the night my mom left?” I ventured, still pushing forward despite his warnings.
“I could. But what would it accomplish? It was so long ago and cannot bring anything but pain.” Matthew watched me as I failed to hide the struggle that this particular question posed. He chuckled and patted me on the knee as if I was that small boy still in front of him. “What the hell. I’m going to be dead within two months anyway.” After a shocked look, he explained, “Cancer. Too many cigars, I guess.” Matthew laughed. “Don’t worry, Levi knows. I wouldn’t have agreed to meet with you if I wasn’t dying already. If your father doesn’t kill me, the cancer will. It is time you knew.”
Matthew poured us each a glass of whiskey and handed me mine. “It was storming that night. It was dark and a blizzard was about to come in. Sleet and rain were coming down hard. I remember because it had been my wedding anniversary, but your father had called me to come over in the middle of the storm. Always the family came first, the dutiful soldier I went over late that night to go over some business contracts.
“Your father and mother, you may have been too young to realize, it was an unhappy marriage. They fought a lot. That night was no exception. They were cursing and throwing things when I came in. She threatened to leave him and left the room after I got there. Your dad didn’t seem worried, threatening to leave wasn’t unusual for your mother. She was dramatic by nature. It wasn’t until your mother was seen putting you in the backseat of a car and driving off, that I saw your dad change. He knew she was leaving for good this time and apparently had chosen to take you with her.”
“His men found the car about a mile down the road, slid off into a ditch. You both were gone.” Matthew’s story was long, broken up by coughs and throat clearing. He was visibly winded and tired.
“I remember being cold and my mom pulling me out of bed one night. But I didn’t know that she was trying to leave him.” I told him.
“She loved you. You were her whole life. The men found you about an hour after she had pulled you out of bed. They brought you back and we called in the doctor. You were very cold and wet. She must have lost control on the wet road. She had tried to hide you under a big fir tree.
“Your mother was found later that night, trying to sneak back into the house. Your father found her in the study. No one else was there, but when he came out she was dead. A gunshot wound.”
“Your father said he caught her trying to steal money out of the safe.” Matthew stopped. Until now, he had been watching me as he spoke but as he paused he stared down at his hands. “I think she was coming back for you.”
“Why didn’t she try to take my brother too?” I asked him.
“I’m not sure, I suspect because your brother was older, and a lot more of a daddy’s boy. He had your father’s mean streak since he was born and your father has groomed him to take over the family. Everyone in the family knew that your brother was heir to the throne.”
“Why did no one say anything about my mother? If she was stealing and trying to take me, why wouldn’t he just tell people that, instead of saying she ran off?” The story created more questions than I had answers to. And Matthew was right. More pain. If he was telling the truth my mother never left me. She tried to save me from him. And she was killed for it.
“I don’t know those answers. I think only your father may know.” Matthew stood and walked toward the door and I followed. “That is all I know. I have a party to attend now, most likely my last one.”
“Thank you, Matthew.”
“Wilder, what are you going to do now?” His frail hand, weathered by years of hardship, clasped my shoulder, its touch both gentle and heavy with a lifetime of regrets. Sadness and regret filled his weary eyes as he gazed at me, searching for an answer. It was a valid question, one that echoed my own concerns. The stark contrast between my and Levi’s fathers weighed heavily on my heart. While Levi was blessed with a loving and nurturing father, I had drawn the short straw, burdened with a man who was nothing short of a murderous bastard.
“I’m not sure. This was unexpected.”
