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I glanced back into my apartment and felt that old anger with her rise. She could clearly see I had guests to look after. So often in our marriage I’d told her that she was being inconsiderate, or self-involved, or a princess. I almost did it again. But then the feeling ebbed away again. “I can give you two minutes now, and we can talk more at a better time,” I said.
I stepped out into the hall and pulled the door shut behind me.
“Look, I need to get something straight between us,” she said, twirling a piece of her hair between her perfectly-manicured fingertips. “I’m with Andrew now. I’ve moved on. You have to accept that, Alex. I’ll always love you, in a way, but I’m not the one for you. I hope you’ll find true love, like I have with Andrew, and happiness.”
I was just staring at her, in utter shock. “What the hell are you talking about?” I managed to stutter.
She blinked at me. “Your voice memo,” she said. “All that smokescreen about becoming better co-parents… I know it’s hard, Alex, but you have to let me go.”
“I actually meant that co-parenting stuff!” I protested.
She blinked at me. “Really? I thought you’d just had a reaction to finding out that me and Andrew are getting engaged.”
I was almost mad with her for a moment, for being so damn self-involved all the time. But then I just found myself laughing. “Oh, Ris, believe me, I have moved on. I’m so glad we’re talking actually because I was about to call you, after we got these apartments done. Mary-Beth and I are together. We’re in love.”
She blinked at me in utter astonishment. “What, the nanny?”
Again, I bit back rising anger and defensiveness and just simply said, “Yes, the nanny. Well, she’s not anymore. I love her. We’re in love, and we’re together. And because of the way things happened, we’re living together already. I hope you’re okay with that.”
I cringed inwardly, waiting for the tidal wave of gleeful self-righteousness. I expected to hear about how irresponsible I’d been. How much I’d hurt Kayla. How bad of a father I was.
And then Clarissa amazed me. None of that came.
“I’m happy for you guys,” she said. ‘So long as Kayla’s okay with it all. I know you don’t like Andrew, but he’s really helped me see how you and I were in a toxic blame and judgement thing. Well, mainly you, but I played my part.”
I almost rose to that, but I took a deep breath and let it go. What I was witnessing was like a holy miracle, and I wasn’t going to quibble about the details, or the exact fairness of what she was saying.
“Anyway,” she said then, while I was still gaping at her in astonishment. ‘I’ve had way more than my two minutes of your time, and I respect that you have guests. So let’s continue this later. I’d like us to work together to be better co-parents too. And maybe we could meet up with Andrew and Mary-Beth too, as they’re going to be stepparents, or as good as.” She giggled. ‘Are you guys getting married? Are you hoping for more kids?”
I spluttered. “Jeez, Ris, give us a minute!”
She still loved to shock and throw me off balance, then.
She gave me a little wave as she breezed back down towards the stairs. “Kayla needs to practice her cello and brush her teeth properly around her braces – the orthodontist wasn’t impressed this week,” she said over her shoulder. “And don’t let her eat sweets, he said no more sweets. Oh, and get an elevator in this place, for goodness sake. It’s not the dark ages!”
I stood there stunned. Mary-Beth opened the door behind me and slid her hands around my waist again. I leaned back into her and exhaled deeply.
“I thought I’d better check where you’d gone to,” she said. “Everything okay?”
“My ex-wife just had a personality transplant, but yeah…” I said, still in wonder. “She wishes us both much happiness together, by the way.”
“That’s lovely,” she said simply, and took my hand. “Come on. You look like you could do with some coffee.”
“If it’s got a double whiskey in it, yeah,” I joked.
“Dad, come see what Maddy just did!” Kayla called from the kitchen as we walked back through the hall, our fingers linked. “It was so cute!”
In the kitchen we found bright sunlight streaming through the open windows, and Tansy jogging a laughing Maddy on her hip as Kayla blew bubbles for her. Some of them streamed out of the window before they popped, much to Mad’s squealing delight.
Bryce greeted me with a firm handshake and a manly backslap. Julie gave me a long hug and said, “I was just telling Mary-Beth I’m so happy for you guys.”
“Thanks,” I said, as I pulled Mary-Beth close.
“Dad, I’m super happy for you guys too, but urgh, get a room!” squealed Kayla, making everyone laugh, even Mads.
We’d spoken to her the following morning, of course, when we’d gotten back from the canal boat. I’d had a Zoom with her one on one first and then she’d spoken to me and Mary-Beth together. She’d been fine about it all, but she knew that she could talk to us any time if she had worries. I’d booked a session with a child psychotherapist too, for both of us, just to make sure I had all the bases covered. I wanted to do everything I could to help Kayla be happy and comfortable after all the changes she’d been through.
Mary-Beth’s brother Chip arrived soon after, and I got to have a really good talk with him and introduce him to Bryce. They had loads in common and even talked about going out mountain biking together sometime.
