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So, Maddy napped like a pro after all the fresh air in the park, and feeding the ducks in the pond. I didn’t see Alex again yesterday, thank goodness. He went out for most of the day, and then, when I did head up to the kitchen last night, I saw him in there and padded back down the hall, waiting until he’d gone before going to make myself a grilled cheese sandwich and get Maddy’s night bottle ready.
She went to sleep much better yesterday evening, though – hallelujah! - and I got to enjoy a lovely bath. I filled it with bubbles and lay there staring out of the huge window at the treetops swaying in the park opposite. It was a beautiful building, and a great place to land while I got back on my feet. As I relaxed, my body re-felt the sensation of Alex’s strong, muscular body against mine. His lips crushing mine in the sexiest kiss I’ve ever experienced. His cock hard against my clit, through his shorts. Him pulling my hips to the edge of the counter and then his fingers inside me… Oh, my God. I sank deeper under the bubbles and began to stroke my clit, but then stopped myself and reached for my new mom’s magazine. He’d made it perfectly – painfully – clear that nothing more was going to go on between us. Offended as I was by the way he spoke to me, I was glad too. I just needed to stay focussed on my plan – setting up my vintage online magazine so I could work from home until Maddy started school. And on keeping this job, and this place to live, while I got it going.
And that meant being a model employee and being good at my new job. And that meant bonding with Kayla.
I’d been keen to take on the challenge at first, when I’d collected her from her mom’s place in Williamsville. Her mom hadn’t been there and I’d helped her pull one of her suitcases down the driveway, and to get her stuff in the trunk. She’d narrowed her eyes at Maddy in her car seat in the back of Alex’s second Lexus, which he’d told me to use for work, and said, “Why is she here?”
“She’s my daughter, that’s why.”
She’d curled her lip, climbed into the passenger seat and grumbled, “There is daycare out there, you know. It’s not the 1950s.”
I ignored that and put on the Tinkerbell album for Mads, which Kayla then changed to some clanging grunge not-even-music that set me and Mads both on edge and kind of made me want to drive Alex’s smart, brand new ride right into a tree, to be honest, just for some relief. But I’d kept up my good attitude, remembering my plan. I’d make this work. I’d make it work.
We’d arrived at the mall just after ten, and I’d been keen and bright as a button. But now, as I stood in Hollister looking at Kayla trying on another oversized t-shirt, I felt my will to live sapping away from me.
“That’s just like the one you’re already wearing, and the three you just bought in the other store,” I said, a grumpy edge to my voice.
Maddy was grizzling and grumbling in her stroller, and I kept having to lift her out and jog her up and down in my arms. She’d had enough too. I was getting about as tired and grumpy as she was – I wanted to just go and get the damn cello (which I’d brilliantly sorted out) and get her back for a nap. Then I could chill out and decompress.
Shopping with Mads had been stressful, and we’d been at it for almost four hours now, with Kayla either grunting yes or no at me, or completely ignoring my friendly chat altogether. Maddy wanted to be out of the buggy, but she couldn’t just crawl around the floor of the stores we went in. In Beverley Winters, Maddy had pulled herself upright by using a sticky fistful of designer dresses. That hadn’t gone down well with the poker-up-her-ass store assistant. Kayla had pretended not to notice me getting ticked off by her, as I scrabbled around on the floor trying to get the dresses all back on their hangers and keep a hold of Maddy at the same time. But I saw her rolling her eyes.
At least she was coming out of the changing room cubicle and showing me the stuff she was trying on now. At first, I’d just had to sit on the bench outside in each store, singing endless songs to Maddy and pushing the buggy back and forth, to try and stop her from dissolving into screaming and bucking back and forth, until I relented and got her out, only to try and stop her pulling down more extremely expensive dresses again.
I should have brought Clare on my first mission with Kayla, just to take the pressure off and help out with Mads. It was me who needed a nanny for my kid, not Alex. But Clare was sleeping off a night shift and working again tonight. I knew that she’d have come with me, that’s why I didn’t ask – I couldn’t do it to her. Sometimes it felt to me like everyone was at full stretch and I just didn’t want to ask for help, however much I needed it. At those kinds of times I wished I had a committed, supporting partner or – even better, LOL! – staff of my own.
I paid for the big, baggy t-shirt for Kayla and prayed that she’d had enough of buying different versions of the same thing over and over, and that we could get out of there. On the way out of the store, a gorgeous stretch jersey dress, cream with little blue flowers on it, caught my eye. I couldn’t help saying, “Oh, that would look lovely on you. It would be so pretty with your auburn hair and bring out your eyes.”
“You’re kidding me!” Kayla exclaimed. “I’d get perved at by every guy I passed in that neckline. There should be a law against it, it’s sexual harassment. I should be able to wear what I want without having to deal with that.” Then she seemed to realize that she’s said four whole sentences to me and clammed up again.
It hadn’t occurred to me that maybe she wasn’t wearing the huge t-shirts, combats and oversized hoodies entirely out of choice. “You’re right, that’s out of order, but we get so used to it we often accept it,” I said.
She didn’t respond and she walked on ahead of me out of the store, but, well, she’d spoken to me properly – and that was a win.
A while later, we were heading to the elevators on our way out, and a big group of teens spilled out of Baskin-Robbins right in front of us. There were five or six girls, all in cute little dresses or shorts and Converse, and a couple of guys.
“Oh, excuse me,” said one of the girls, moving out of the way of the stroller. I gave her a smile. She smiled back and then waved a little ‘hi’ to Kayla. Kayla did the smallest wave back and smiled a little. It was the first time I noticed that she was shy.
“Cute kid,” said one of the guys, and Maddy grinned at him.
“Thanks,” I said.
“How old is she?” asked the other guy.
“She just turned one last week,” I told him.
“Happy belated birthday, sweetie,” he said, wiggling his fingers in front of her face.
Maddy laughed, hiccupped and threw up a little bit. It ran all down her chin and top.
One of the girls shuddered at that. “Gross,” she pronounced, then flicked her hair. “Come on.”
I was mad, as I wiped Mad’s chin, but it wasn’t me who spoke. “Babies do that, you know – you were one once, Donna,” said Kayla fiercely.
The girl turned and stared at her. “Oh, hi, Kayla,” she said. “Out with your… hmm… well I guess it’s not always easy to find friends your own age.”
The nice girl who Maddy had waved to blushed furiously at this. I wondered if they were friends, or had been…
“She’s my cousin,” Kayla said, shooting the Donna girl a withering stare. Well, I guess she wouldn’t have said nanny, of course. She was far too old for one, really.
