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The face of the small little girl rose unbidden. Blood covered her white top, the tiny blue flowers on it stained with hatred. Witnessing the senseless death of an eight-year-old had flipped her world upside down. Her worldview, her faith in humanity. To witness a father murder his only child in cold blood while she died in Teddi’s hands was visceral even now, years later. A single bullet. A single moment that reduced lives to ash, the wave of its dust still unsettled as she thought of that girl she never saved. It’d taken months to work through intense therapy to find herself again. To find some good worth fighting for, to recommit herself to a job she knew she was born to do when she met Mackey.
That version of herself felt far away. She wasn’t foolish enough to think that death would never happen on her watch again but she’d vowed she would do anything to prevent it, to ensure everyone had a chance. What they did with it wasn’t her business, she just wanted them to have it. Whoever they were. The thought of Vera being someone to take away that chance from two people was unfathomable.
Looking at the corpses of Adam Maller, Jackson Grennan, Scott Reade, and Dan Gunson proved to her how far she failed. They heard Gunson being taken and didn't get to him in time. If she’d tried harder, ran faster, looked closer… she could’ve saved him. Could’ve done something other than let him be dragged away while they slept on their asses on the forest floor.
Vera pulled the menu away from her face, pressing it against the table. Her eyes were piercing, passing over her with a fierceness she didn’t feel.
“Maybe we could have saved him and maybe not. They had him by the time we got there, Teddi. The odds were against us in every way. It was pitch black out and they know the forest, knew we were there.” Her nose flared as she went on, trying to convince her. “They had the jump on us before we even knew we were exposed. Taking him the opposite way of the glade proves that. We were baited and we took it hook, line, and fucking sinker. Maybe we could have saved him and maybe not. All we can do now is try to prevent the next one.”
“What about the Feds?” Teddi asked, voice hollow.
Vera’s face scrunched up. “What about them? J and Mackey said thirty-six hours. We’ve got a few more.”
The ferocity with which she said the word “them” told Teddi everything. Vera didn’t want law enforcement in Sylen and would do anything to prevent it from happening. It was blatantly dangerous for them to be doing the investigation alone. They were outmatched and outnumbered for all they knew.
“What happened in D.C.?”
Vera jerked back. “That has nothing to do with this.”
“Doesn’t it?” She rested her forearms on the table, watching her closely. The thump of her fast pulse in her neck, the way her nostrils flared slightly. She was scared and Teddi knew she had every reason to be. Looking at Vera, she tried to find the woman she knew ten years ago.
She’d seen the official reports J emailed. Her eyes ate up each syllable as she leaned her head over the tiny diner bathroom sink, rinsing the blood from her hair. Her phone was gripped so tight in her hand that it made a cracking sound.
It was all there. Every word was a testament to Vera’s guilt. Guilt that Teddi still couldn’t accept. Each word could be a lie so deeply fabricated that she would believe it. The war between believing and wanting to trust Vera was a bloody dogfight in her mind. She knew Vera Aguilar. Inside and out. Soft and hard. Strong and scared. She knew her soul and her mind. Her heart though, her heart was hidden so well from Teddi’s sight that it struck her. The one part that maybe Vera never let her truly have.
“What happened in D.C.?” What she really meant was, “Did you do it? Was it all a lie? Tell me the real truth and I’ll believe you.”
Vera crossed her arms over her chest as if that would protect her from the truth. The truth. Whatever the fuck the truth was now.
“Nothing happened that you need to worry about.” Teddi’s fist slammed down so hard on the table the tin full of silverware toppled over. The muscles in Vera’s neck strained but her chin lifted.
“Tell me right now or I walk.”
Vera’s eyes flashed in shock for a split second before an unexpected emotion took its place. Relief.
“Oh my god." Anger washed away in an instant, replaced by surprise so strong she felt like she’d been electrocuted. Had she read this wrong since she walked into Ximena’s house days ago? Had she imagined the ten-year-long pull between them? Was the sex just sex to Vera? Because it hadn’t been to Teddi. Every word had been more precious than gold, every touch, every new moment. She’d weighed and measured them each and came up richer than God.
The look of relief on Vera’s face said it all. She’d been so stupid. Vera wanted her gone from the drop. The sex was just sex. The moments were just fleeting seconds between former lovers. Teddi felt herself hollow out. Cold, empty, and alone. Ten years of hope crumpled to dust between those hands that held too much power for too long.
“Right. I get it.” She cleared her throat, trying to cover the tightness in it as her chin trembled. “I’ll get out of your way so you can do all of this on your own like you’ve always wanted.” Standing, she rested a hand on the table, staring down at her. The woman she thought was finding her way back to her and all she found was a cruel truth she hadn’t wanted to face.
She’d been played for a fool, too love-sick to see it for what it was.
Vera refused to meet her gaze. Arms crossed tightly, she stared straight ahead. A sharp pinch was waking up in her chest. An old pain she wasn’t ready to greet again. A single tear escaped, landing on the tabletop, anointing it. “I don't know when you started playing such fucked up games but I forfeit. But just so you know, Vera, I wanted to believe you. I would’ve believed you.”
She walked away and pushed the diner door open, stepping out into the bleak grey of Sylen.
Just one look back and she watched Vera breathe out a heavy sigh of relief.
Chapter 34
Vera
She hadn’t expected it to be so easy to get rid of her. A secret for Teddi’s life. A cost she would never pay. If it meant Teddi leaving Sylen and going back into the arms of safety that Fort Collins offered, she would hide, lie, steal, and cheat for it.
Her head dipped forward on a heavy exhale. She shoved her hands into her hair, gripping at the roots so hard it hurt. Teddi would be safe. She would leave and have J and Mackey to cover her back. Which would be fine because she wouldn’t need anyone covering it. She was out of harm’s way.
Wiping her face, she pretended the sweat across it was from relief, not the pain she saw in Teddi’s eyes. Not the sight of her hope being sliced into ribbons by her cruelty. Relief, she convinced herself, relief, not pain. Because she’d seen that look a decade ago and it’d seared through her like a burn then too.
