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Lock leaned in until he was close enough that she could count his eyelashes. Then he whispered, “Apology not necessary. The only regret I have is that my fingers are the only thing to have spent time inside your tight-as-fuck pussy. My dick and my tongue have been jealous all fucking day.”
Thank God she was sitting with the speed the arousal slammed into her because her knees would have buckled right out from under her.
“Lock,” she said on an exhale as she squirmed to relieve the empty ache in said pussy. “Y-you can’t say things like that.”
Straightening back up, he raised an eyebrow. “Why not? Make you uncomfortable?”
She groaned. “Parts of me.”
That had him laughing loudly. “So where does that leave us now? Liv didn’t go to all this trouble for nothing. She’s gonna grill my ass the second she sees me again. Might as well figure out our shit.”
“Right. Well…”
I’d like more of those orgasms. Many, many more. Everyday. I’d also like to sleep in your bed with your arms wrapped around me.
But she didn’t say any of that. She couldn’t. There was no way she’d be able to spend that much time with him and not catch feelings. And developing those kinds of feelings for an outlaw biker whose life was so far from her own would be a disaster.
“I just got out of a really bad relationship.”
He snorted.
“Yeah, you’re aware of that. I just mean, I’m not in a place for anything heavy.”
Lock blew out a breath and stared at the fire for a moment. Then he said, “How much do you know about Caleb?”
“Not much. Just that you aren’t biologically related. And that his mother passed.” She’d assumed the mother had been a recent girlfriend of his unless he’d been married to a woman who’d had a baby.
Oh my God, was he a widower?
“Actually, we are related. Just not the way you think. His mother was my sister. My twin. She died of an overdose when she was eight months pregnant with Caleb.”
Her heart stuttered then filled with pain for a man she’d come to admire. “Your twin,” she whispered. “Oh my God, Lock. I had no idea.” She shifted to her knees and scooted over to him, grabbing his hand. He immediately curled his fingers around hers. “I am so sorry. That must have been incredibly painful.”
“We weren’t close anymore. She’d given up most of her life to drugs, but yes, it was horrible. I had to fight like hell, but a judge eventually granted me custody of Caleb. He was born with a shit ton of medical issues so he had to spend months in the NICU. After dealing with that and the death of my sister, I wasn’t in the right headspace to be a parent, even though I wanted him.”
She could see the pain written across his face as he told his story. It was clear as day as if someone had taken a knife to his skin. The desire she felt for him morphed into something different. Not only did she want pleasure for them both, but she wanted to take away his suffering and promise him he was succeeding as a parent with her words and her body. “Lock, Caleb is great. He’s healthy and happy. You’re an incredible father.”
A dark, ugly laugh left him. “Now, I’m doing an okay job, by some miracle. But I didn’t at first. I spiraled downward fast. So fucking fast. I started using drugs and drinking way too much. I did all sorts of reckless shit to numb the grief, pain, and fear of my newfound responsibilities. My actions led to Harper and Jinx both being hurt. I let down my club in the worst way and almost lost Caleb in the process.” His head bowed, and his heavy sigh told her more than his words could.
His days were filled with guilt and remorse.
Her heart broke for what he’d endured. “I’m so glad you found your way back,” she whispered.
He nodded. “Curly kicked my ass into gear. He and Brooke kept Caleb while I did a stint in rehab so we could keep it off child services’ radar.”
“They’re amazing.” She tightened her grip until her knuckles whitened, but he didn’t seem to notice how hard she squeezed his hand.
“Yes. They saved my ass in a way I’ll never be able to repay, but I’m damn well going to try. Everyday. Paying back that debt is what I live for now.”
Brenna swallowed a lump of emotion. He’d been through so much. What words could she say to show the depth of her appreciation for his trust in telling her that story? “Thank you for sharing that with me.” Maybe keeping it simple was best. Perhaps he didn’t want platitudes or another person to remind him he needed to release the guilt.
He met her gaze. “I wanted you to know. To know me and understand why I don’t have anything to offer you. You’ll heal from your bad relationship and be ready for another, but Caleb and the club own my life. I’ll spend the rest of my days proving to them that I’m worthy of the help they’ve given me.”
What? No. Did he honestly think that little of his worth? If she’d thought her heart broke for him before, she’d been wrong. It fractured into a million pieces, all beating for him. “You can’t—”
He pressed his thumb over her lips. “I have to. It’s the only way for me to survive. I have to show them the man I can be. I have nothing, Bren. Nothing to offer anyone. Caleb is my only family, and I refuse to fuck him up.”
“You’re wrong,” she said as she circled his wrist and drew his hand from her lips. “You’re so wrong. You have the most incredible family. The club is your family, and every man and woman in there loves you.”
