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She pulled back to look in my eyes. “That’s right. I devoted my life to you two because you needed me to do just that. To give you everything I had. All my attention. And maybe that was a disservice. Maybe that made you believe a woman should do that for you, give up everything and be at your beck and call.”
“No!” I shouted pushing her backward enough to look at her. I gripped my aunt’s arms desperately. “That was one of the last things she said to me and I don’t think about her that way! I swear, Aunt Lori.”
She gave me a weak smile and touched my face with her delicate hand. “You don’t mean to, but maybe it happened by rushing in.”
I growled. “Rushing? I’ve waited fifteen years for her!”
She shook her head. “Ransom, you can’t ask her to move her entire life to live with you without looking at all the alternatives. Relationships are give and take. Compromise. Working together for a common goal. Maybe you move to New York. Did you ever offer to stay with her instead? If you want to be with her and you travel all around the country, what’s to keep you from staying with her, meeting her where she wants to be? Dear boy, you have to open your eyes and see past your own nose. Put yourself in her shoes. See things from her side.”
I nodded and slithered down in my seat. “I feel like shit.”
Aunt Lori chuckled and retook her seat. “Yep. That’s one of the stages in every relationship. You realized you screwed up. So, fix it. Come up with a plan while you’re gone this week. Earn her back. And treat her right. Because as much as I know you’ve been fawning over her, I’ve seen her drooling over you too.”
I perked up a little. “Really?”
She nodded. “Oh, yeah. You two have been a stick of dynamite needing the right catalyst to make an explosion. Once you get it right, it’ll be a sight to see. But you have to work out the details and think of things from her perspective. And don’t be so possessive.”
I sat back crossing my arms. “What if she likes that?”
She placed her palm on my arm. “There’s a time and place for it, but a woman like Phoebe wants choices. She’s been out of control her entire life, so give her the reins until she cedes them to you.”
I blew out a sigh and held my head. “What if I’ve already blown it with her?”
Aunt Lori shook her head. “Nope. I don’t believe it. You two have a bond no one can break. Not even a pushy grump like you. But you broke her trust and you’ll have a long road ahead of you to win her back. Consistency and stability, big guy. Give her those things, show her every day how much you love her, and you two will be okay.”
Her words were a salve for my damaged heart. If my aunt thought we would be okay, that’s the way it would be. She helped raise us both. I knew she would never steer me wrong.
I snatched her up in a hug, squeezing until she squeaked. “Thank you. I needed this so much.”
When she pulled back, her eyes were a little teary. “Call anytime, big guy. I know you’re an adult now, but you’re still my kiddo. I’ll always be here for you.”
I pressed a kiss to her hair. “That means more than you’ll ever know.”
Once I deposited her in her car, I flew to Calgary. I was only half a day ahead of the guys, so I went to the usual hotel, paid for a room of my own, and scrolled online for hours trying to find the perfect gift for Raven. I was so engrossed I almost missed the incoming text.
Ilya: She’s with Harmony.
Me: Is she okay?
Ilya: She’s upset. What did you do now?
I sighed. They always assumed it was me. I hated they were right.
Me: I didn’t tell my family about us.
Ilya: Why not?
Me: Because I’m an idiot.
Focusing on what I could give Phoebe, an idea hit me. I raced down the block to a vintage bookstore. Finding an old copy of Shakespeare’s sonnets, I purchased it quickly along with some vintage stationery.
To my Raven,
I’m not a poet, my grunts say it all. But my heart beats faster at the sight of you the further I fall. I don’t know what I’m doing and I never know what to say. But I beg you to stay with me, to give me grace as I try to do right by you every day. So, I’m sending you this bard’s book and ask you to consider his words mine, since the world is gray without you even when the sun shines.
Eternally, Your Chief
As I read it over and over, I knew it was bad, but it was from my heart and I had to hope that would be enough. After I dropped off the package at the front desk for them to mail, I curled up with the books Phoebe gave me for Christmas until I fell asleep.
