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“Or a regular lunch. Can’t I eat lunch with my sister any day I want?”
“Ma’am, in my professional capacity as a cardiology watcher, Angela next to never ate lunch in Dr. Varma’s office. Your meeting up place was the cafeteria, not the ICU.”
“Supposing I might have done that during your plastics rotation, why would I sabotage Daniel today?” Eliza added soap to her sink.
“If you asked Raj, human bullhorn, he’d have a few theories. However, having worked in corporate America, I’d guess you protected us during my plastic rotation for professional reasons. Tonight, it was solely personal. For Dr. Varma.” He was walking a tightrope here, but like Angela had said, part of being one of the more mature medical students was not being afraid to say what he believed to attendings.
“Well, it worked, didn’t it? I’m sure Kayla has figured it out already, though I’ve got to give the dog an award for dramatic timing.” Kandal selected a new dish to scrub.
“Regardless of your personal goals with Steadman, professionally, I can’t disagree with him. He’s right.”
“Right about what?”
“About me. I’m not going to have the Step 2 scores to match into Dermatology. Or Radiology or ER or General Surgery.”
“What makes you so certain?” She didn’t stop her scrubbing.
“The fourteen practice tests I’ve taken,” Michael told her, wishing he didn’t find it necessary to tell her the truth.
“You failed your practice tests?”
“No, I don’t fail. But my scores are most definitely not worth writing home about.” Unlike Nora and Raj, Michael’s scores remained mediocre.
“I take it you haven’t told your wife about this?”
“There’s nothing to tell yet. It’s possible I’ll rally or become unnaturally lucky during the exam. I doubt it though, and I already know my shelf exam scores aren’t great either. That’s before any program director considers my black mark of seducing and marrying the beautiful cardiology fellow.”
The surgeon chuckled, first quietly and then getting louder. She had to set down her sponge to double over.
Michael was feeling annoyed now. “What?”
“You should hear yourself. ‘Clerkship director, I fully understand you’re a manipulative bitch. I’m not going to blackmail you. I’m going to selflessly convince you to do the opposite.’”
“There is no reason to waste your time on someone who is going to apply to family medicine instead.”
“Do you like family medicine?”
“Not really, but I like Angela more. I will interview at any program or residency that keeps me close to her.”
There it was. His truth. Being a doctor was enough for him. Being near her was enough.
Kandal spoke to the ceiling. “God, this is why you need to send me more older students. He’s grown up enough to understand at the end of the day, being a doctor is a job. Not everyone has to believe ‘doctor’ is their one true calling.”
“It’s not that I’m not meant to be a doctor. It is part of me. It’s not the ONLY part of me. Angela is already a better doctor that I will ever be. And I’m okay with it.”
She re-evaluated his stance the same way he’d witnessed every attending gauge their medical students. “How enlightened of you. You’re saying you’ve chosen to be a doctor because you can, yet Angela’s calling is higher and more important than yours?”
“Not higher. Just different, and I won’t ask her to pick between me and her fellowship. Someone already tried that on her, and we both know what she decided.”
He’d never met Angela’s ex Prakash or heard her speak of him much. Enough had been said to recognize his rejection of who Angela was to the core had shaken her ability to believe anyone could love her and her career ambition at the same time. Flaw or not, she longed for her professional and personal success not to be mutually exclusive.
It’d be a cold day in hell before Michael made the same mistake.
“One of the hardest parts of being in love is being the one who has to flinch first. For most of human history, SHE yielded her dreams to HIS. You aren’t threatened, though.”
“I am not. I’ll make whatever sacrifice it takes for her, interview in any specialty. If I can’t get MetroGen, I’ll try Akron, Toledo, Columbus, Pittsburgh, Detroit, Cincinnati.” He squared his shoulders, facing her down. “So, Clerkship Director Kandal, don’t waste an ER-Trauma rotation on me. Pick a better candidate.”
“What if I told you there are no better candidates?” She picked the sponge back up.
