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"Janey, take off your clothes."
"Ok." The word's out before I even realize it. There's something about his tone when he gives me an order that just makes me all loose and compliant.
This time he lets me shut the door. I turn the shower on to heat up, then strip quickly. I ball up the jammies, making sure the red staining is hidden inside the ball, then open the door just wide enough to thrust my fist through.
He gathers them close to his chest and smiles at me. "Enjoy your shower. We'll get breakfast when you're ready."
Feeling a thousand percent better after a quick shower but still cursing the first-day gushing, I brace myself and head for the living room and my husband. The man surprises me at every turn, and honestly he handled this a lot better than I did. I've never lived with a man, other than family at least. My period was always something to be ashamed of with them. They'd make fun of my moods and blame everything on 'riding the rag'. It always made me feel like having my period was bad.
Not Jonas. Yes, he's awkward, and my face may never return to its normal color, but I don't feel small or wrong.
I spot Jonas at the sink just as I'm about to call for him. As I walk closer, I slap my hands against my cheeks in a mixture of awe and embarrassment. The man is hand-scrubbing my pajamas.
"Jonas," I call softly. "You don't have to do that."
He turns, a toothbrush in his hand. "I'm almost done." He returns to scrubbing. "I've had to remove a lot of blood from clothing over the years. This is the best way. You won't even be able to tell there was a stain when I'm done."
I shut my mouth and watch as my husband, still bare-chested, scrubs menstrual blood from my pajamas. And I finish falling.
I'm in love, no doubt about it.
How could I not be?
I watch the muscles in his arms bulge and flex as he wrings out the material, then holds it up to the light. He makes a satisfied noise, then lays the now clean pajama bottoms on the counter with the wet top. He rinses the toothbrush and taps it on the edge of the sink, then turns to me. "They're, just like new. That material is a little tougher than cotton, but it --"
"Jonas," I interrupt, "I'm going to kiss you. Get rid of the toothbrush."
His eyes widen, and without looking, he chucks the toothbrush somewhere in the hall. I don't bother to look where it lands, and neither does he. Stepping into him, cupping his cheeks, I pull him down.
We haven't really been intimate since Christmas morning, and I both love and hate that. It's given us time to just relax together, and to learn each others quirks. But in my mind, it's started to build up into a worry. The not doing it being more stressful than just attacking him.
But I've missed this, even though I've only held him a few times. I miss the way his arms tighten around me. I miss the low groan in his chest. And it's different this time too. He's not hesitating, his worry over kissing clearly gone.
He pushes me back against the counter and threads his hands through my hair, tugging my head back to give him better access. Something about Jonas taking control just lights me up. Maybe it's that he so obviously is into me. Or maybe it's his enjoyment. I don't know. All I do know, is it sooo does it for me.
We finally break apart, panting. "I've been wanting to do that all week," he says, dropping his forehead to mine.
"Why didn't you?"
"Things between us felt different this week." He raises his head. "Good different. Like we're friends now, more than we ever were before."
"I know. It's been really good. But the kissing..."
"Is even better. I have heard that the way you ring in the new year is the way you'll spend your year. In that case Janey, I would really like to kiss you at midnight."
A whole year of kissing Jonas? A future of more of this?
"I would love nothing more."
31
JONAS
"Get back in there Jonas. I mean it."
I freeze and hunch my shoulders. I was sure she was gone.
"I just want to say hello, that's all."
