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Holly nods knowingly. "I understand. I spent so many years making someone happy. I was doing it from a place of fear and self preservation, but the effect was the same." She purses her mouth. "And Jonas doesn't need your help?"
"No, he doesn't. He always seems so —.“ I pause as what I'm saying really registers. I'm an idiot. There's a big thing that's weighing on him. Why can't I do something to help? Because it's him? He's capable, yes, but when it comes to people so am I.
I lean forward. "Becca, can I ask you something?"
"Shoot," she says, leaning back on her elbows again.
"When did you buy your car?"
She frowns. "My car? That's what you want to ask me about?" I nod, and she twists her mouth. "I didn't buy it. It was my dad's. He passed it onto me when he bought a new one."
"Oh. That makes a little more sense." Becca is all kinds of practical, so the car thing didn't seem like her. Now, I get it.
"What makes sense? What the hell are we talking about? I thought we were talking about you and Jonas banging." She drops to her back and groans. "I need new friends. Dirty-minded, gossipy friends."
Now I'm the one covering my smile. "I mean it makes sense why you're so attached to it. It must be hard for you to think of parting with it. I'm sure there are a lot of memories tied to your father in that car."
She frowns up at the ceiling. "I guess," she says slowly, drawing out the words. "I mean, he got it when I was nine or ten. But I'm not really attached to it. It's not like I think if I stop driving it, then I'll lose my dad." She sits up and crosses her legs, resting her elbows on her knees. "My dad lives in my memories. I can think of him and be with him anytime I want."
"Oh," I say, frowning at the blue mats.
"What's that look about? Oh? What's oh?"
"I guess I thought that's why you didn't want Kade to buy you a car. Because you were emotionally attached to the one you have."
She snorts. "No, I just don't like how pushy he's being about it."
"So you don't like that he worries about you?" As someone who only recently learned how it feels to have someone...many someone's worry about me, I can't relate. I actually like it.
"He's not worried, he just likes giving me things," she says confidently. When I just stare at her, she frowns. "Right?"
"I don't know. Is that right?"
She stares at me, scowling. "Well, shit. Do you think he's actually worried?"
"I think they all are," Holly says softly. We all shift to look at her. "When you have something precious, something worth fighting for, you want to protect it."
I nod, completely agreeing with her perspective. I turn back to Becca. "That's why Jonas has the minivan, Becca. He loves his brothers and wants them all safe. Being the designated driver, having a safe vehicle, staying with them if they're sick. That's all love."
"Jonas doesn't really like my car," Becca confesses quietly.
"No," I say, matching her quiet tone. "He doesn't. I think he's terrified of the idea of you getting hurt. Not just because he loves you, and you're family, but because losing you would devastate Kade."
She bites her lips, staring at the men. Almost all the brothers are here, and they've formed some sort of a puppy pile, slapping and wrestling. The owners of the Dojo are standing back with raised eyebrows, not at all interested in wading into the mess.
Suddenly, Kade pops out of the middle of the pile, a grin on his face, yelling and waving his hands. Jonas stands up too, yelling something in his face that makes Kade laugh. The trade a few more shouts, then Jonas body slams him like a professional wrestler and they go back down in the pile.
"Oh my god," Maya mutters. "They're all nuts."
Becca stands and looks down at us, determination written all over her face. "Let's go break that shit up."
38
JONAS
"Take it back," I tell him. Ok, I yell. I don't need the mean face. I don't need to scowl. He knows he fucked up. But he's still laughing.
Kade shoves me back and stands, stepping on Colton's hand as he rises, and waves his hands. "I'm not taking it back. Those staples suck, and I don't get why you love them so much. I'm going to change the order and get the old ones back. The ones that actually work."
