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Shaking himself out of his daze, he turns to me. "You good man?"
I smile, a real one this time. "I'm good."
He nods, taking me at my word. We all have shit we deal with, and sometimes, we need to push and talk it out. But today isn't one of those days. Today, we're on vacation. The head fuckery can wait.
"Let's head back then. We can—“
The howl that comes out of me is more from shock than pain as I feel a sharp sting on the bottom of my foot. I plop my face into the water, spotting a solitary jellyfish floating away.
Declan's spinning frantically in the water, whites of his eyes showing. "What! What's happening?"
"Fucking Jellyfish got me."
Dec squeaks and flaps, trying to levitate out of the water. "Fuck. Shit, let's get out of here."
He doesn't wait for me, just takes off for the beach. Fucker. I follow more slowly, the stinging in my foot traveling up my leg. Declan stops close to shore, waiting for me and wraps an arm around my waist as I hobble to shore. Fuck it hurts.
Bree comes to the water's edge. "What's happening?" Her eyes are filled with concern. Is it weird I'm suddenly grateful to the jellyfish for giving her a reason to look at me like that?
"Jellyfish," I bite out. I'm trying to be tough, but fuck, I think cutting my leg off right now would feel better that the fiery hell traveling up my calf. Declan lowers me to the sand, and I twist, trying to see the bottom of my foot without actually bending my leg.
Bree's eyes widen, and something passes over her face. "Oh, my god. Declan, hurry, pee on it. It's the only way to help him now."
"That's not fucking funny," I grunt, scowling at Bree.
She slams her hands on her hips making her breasts jiggle in her suit. "It's not supposed to be funny. Do you really want to lose your leg?"
Cara, cell phone clutched in her hand, stops next to Bree.
"She's joking right? A Jellyfish sting isn't that bad, is it?" I ask her, desperate for her to tell me Bree's joking.
She doesn't. She looks from Bree, to Declan then me and slaps her hand on her chest. "Oh my god. Quick, Declan, you have to pee on it."
Declan's eyes get even wider. "Wait, so it's true? She wasn't fucking with us?"
"Why would I fuck with you?" Bree screams hysterically. Her panic is freaking me the fuck out. "You think i'm into golden showers? Pee on the fucking man, or he's going to lose his foot."
She spins and heads up the beach, abandoning me. What does it say about me that watching her walk away, in that spectacular bikini, makes me feel a little better?
"Wait, wasn't this on a TV show? You have to be fucking with us," Declan says, panic lacing his voice.
Cara shakes her head, pressing her hands to her cheeks. "They had it on that show for a reason. They didn't just make that shit up." Then she spins and races after Bree, yelling over her shoulder, "I'll call an ambulance. I just hope they get here before it's too late."
Declan and I share a look of horror. I take it all back. Cutting off my leg is not a good option. If that's the alternative, then there really is no option. "Just do it," I tell him through gritted teeth. He stares at me, his look of horror nearly almost making me smile. Almost. "It's not like you haven't peed on me before."
"That was a fucking accident asshole. Besides, you were the one that passed out in the bathroom."
"In the tub man. I was sleeping in the tub. Not the toilet."
"I probably should have turned on the light," he mutters, glaring down at my leg. His hand goes to the waistband of his swim shorts. I don't bother looking away, bracing myself for the horror about to befall me. I've seen Dec's dick more times than I can count. I usually don't notice it. But now, right at eye level, I can't stop staring.
"Stop fucking looking at me. I can't do this if you're looking," Declan yells, looking like he's ready to bolt.
Cara and Bree, halfway to the house, dissolve into laughter, leaning on each other for support. We stare at them, realization dawning. "They're fucking with us."
Declan yanks his shorts back up, and without giving me another look storms up the beach. "Cara," he yells, "you are going to pay for this."
Both women shriek and bolt up the stairs to the house.
