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I wiggle out the pile, and stand, brushing off my clothes. "I think I'll go check on Bree," I mumble, trying to make a smooth exit.
Becca's laughter chases me all the way down the hall and around the corner.
35
BREE
"Becca's been gone a while. Do you think there's a problem?" I ask the room. Zach and Maya glance down the hall. They've been here a few minutes, and Zach looks antsy already, knee shaking. He clearly would rather be wherever his brothers are than stuck in that chair.
Janey comes and sits next to me. "I'm sure there's no—“ she's interrupted by a bloodcurdling yell. We both startle, and look toward the hallway the noise came from, but can't see anything.
"Was that...a woman in labor?" It sounded deep and high pitched at the same time, and I can't process it, or the amount of pain that would force a woman to make that sound. Janey and I both look to the hallway, but no other noises come and eventually she turns back to me.
"I doubt there's a problem. Holly's in excellent hands. She has the best medical care money can buy, and a lot of people looking out for her."
I've only known Holly six months, but already she feels like family, and I really don't want anything bad to happen to her. Childbirth is scary, and despite what Janey says, things can go wrong.
I'm distracted from my thoughts on the dangers of childbirth by Cara and Declan's entrance. And with them comes the adorable Miss Mia. She's wearing a silver plastic princess crown, a red and black plaid shirt, pink polka dot pants, and yellow winter boots. Evie's been complaining that Mia's in a stubborn stage and wants to do everything herself, including picking her outfits. Clearly, she dressed herself today. I think she's pretty stinking cute, despite the fact that my eyes hurt when I look at her outfit too long.
"We didn't miss it, did we?" Cara asks breathlessly, dropping into the chair on the other side of me. Mia beelines for the brightly colored kids area in the far corner of the room, holding Declan's finger to tug him with her.
"I don't think so. Becca went to talk to Evie a while ago. We've only been here a couple of hours but..." I trail off and shrug. Cara hums and gazes sightlessly toward Declan and Mia. She seems lost in thought, and I wonder if now might be the time to tell her about me and Nick. I don't know if there's ever going to be a good time, so maybe I should just do it now, rip the band aid off and get it over with.
"Do you think you'll have kids," she asks me suddenly. I stare at her, mind blank, honestly having trouble processing her words, they're so out of left field.
"Um...yes? Maybe? I don't know. I haven't really been in a relationship that lasted long enough to think about marriage and kids. But being around Mia makes it seem pretty great, if super exhausting." She's nodding as I speak and I follow her gaze, watching as Declan lifts Mia over his head, then lowers her down to motorboat her tummy. I saw a lot of that in Miami, but it definitely was more R rated there. This? It's sweet and Mia's peals of laughter make everyone in the room smile. "Are you thinking about it Cara?" Everything is changing so fast. We are changing so fast.
She sighs and rakes her hand through her hair, then grips the arm of the chair, nails tapping. "I didn't want to, you know. Raising you —not that you were a kid— kinda felt like I'd been there, done that, you know? But since Declan, I think I'm starting to change my mind. The idea of watching him be a daddy..." her smile is soft and hazy. "I want to give him that."
"So you want to make him a daddy...do you want to be a mommy? Cause that's kinda how it works."
She wrinkles up her face at me and smirks. "Thanks for the biology lesson Bee, so helpful. She sighs and her fingers stop their tapping. "I want to be a mom. I want little Declan's running around the house, and maybe mini me's. But my life right now is so not the mom life. I work long days at Brash, and I'm at the club a lot of the time. Declan and I barely have time for ourselves. How would we make raising a kid work? Besides, I always thought that if I had kids, I'd give them the kind of life we had, with room to run and play and neighbors that look out for them."
"They'd have tons of room to run at the high rise," I remind her, "and tons of aunties and uncles to look after them. And I bet, if you ask, Ransom would build a grassy field or garden somewhere. I'm not really sure what that would look like, but I'm sure he'd figure it out." Knowing the man he'd buy up an entire building and raze it if it meant making his family happy. He's extreme in the best way.
Her smile is a little sad. "I guess so. I just never imagined this life, you know? Not that I don't love it, but staying in the city was never my plan. I thought I'd graduate and go back home to start a business. Maybe open a store or a coffee shop. Be part of that small town life. But with mom and dad gone, and you to take care of, I had to find a new dream."
"I didn't know that," I say slowly. "You always seemed to fit here. The sporty car, the expensive clothes. You seemed like you were happy." I shift in my seat, uncomfortable with the idea that she changed her whole life because of me. Oh, I know it's not my fault mom and dad died, but she had a ton of pressure on her shoulders from a young age. And she made it work. She took care of us.
She always takes care of me. She's always made decisions that were best for me.
Suddenly, I don't want to tell her about me and Nick. The idea of upsetting her or disappointing her is crippling.
"I've come to like nice stuff," she says with a grin. "But I miss home. I miss walking down the street and waving at my neighbors. I miss feeling like I'm part of a bigger community. I miss the festivals and sitting on the porch." She winces. "I didn't appreciate those things when I lived there. And when they were gone, I realized how wonderful it was to grow up there."
"It was pretty wonderful," I agree, covering her hand with mine. I give her a squeeze and let go. "You've got a pretty great community right here," I say, tipping my chin at the waiting room. Zach's moved to the play area and is crawling around on the floor with Mia, letting her ride on his back. Maya's watching with a small smile. And sometime during our conversation, Janey slipped away to sit with Maya, giving us privacy.
"You and Declan don't have to stay here. You know that, right? You can sell the club. I'm sure it's worth a ton. You can work remotely for Brash, or do whatever you want. Maybe open that coffee shop? I bet you Declan would buy you a place in a small town. Who knows, he might even like it." I give her a nudge with my elbow, making her smile. "He's been a city kid his whole life. Getting him in the country could be fun."
"Maybe. I'm not sure it's worth it though, if everyone we love is here."
"They own a helicopter and a plane, Cara. I'm sure visiting wouldn't be that big a deal."
She laughs. "You may have a point." She slaps the arms of the chair. "I'll think about it." She rises and drops to the floor in the kids' corner, smiling up at Mia. She'd make an amazing mom. And the picture she paints of a small town life is attractive. I'm not going to lie. The city has a lot to offer, but the blue skies and trees for miles of the town I grew up in still hold a big piece of my heart.
But when it comes right down to it, Cara's my family, and home is going to be wherever she is. If she moves one day? I can't imagine I'll be too far behind. I don't want to live with her again —having the apartment to myself is wonderful— but down the block seems like a good compromise. Close, but not right inside each other's pockets. Kind of like it is right now, actually.
Lost in thought, I only vaguely register the heavy footfalls. Then Nick's here, dropping into the chair beside me and pulling me into his arms. "Holly's scary," he breathes, pressing his lips to my hair. "She scared the shit out of Kade. We probably shouldn't have gone in her room."
