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A few weeks into our spicy-food competition, I bought a Carolina Reaper from the internet. We ate it after school one day, sitting on the back steps of my porch as tears poured down our faces.
A few days later, Misa Tanaka-Randall held her thirteenth birthday party. The following Monday, Lucas stopped speaking to me.
*
After we finish our food, we get up to leave the restaurant. I follow Lucas to the counter to pay my half, and he arches a brow at me. “Didn’t you say I was paying?”
I roll my eyes. “I was kidding. I can’t have you pay for me.”
“Why not?”
Before I can think of a response, a staff member appears, and Lucas pays with his card without giving me an opportunity to fight him.
“I’m going to transfer you half of the cost,” I tell him as we walk out onto the street. It’s surprisingly warm for an autumn evening.
“That’s okay,” Lucas says, nudging me with his arm. “It’s my shout.”
I rub my arm, the part that touched him.
“It’s been ages since we’ve gone for dinner together,” Lucas continues. “You’re always out with your girlfriend.”
“You’re welcome,” I say. I bet Lucas is happy I’m around less. It means more time for his sex life.
He doesn’t reply to that, and when I look up, I see him staring into the distance. Usually, he looks amused, like everything and everyone is merely entertainment while he sits above it all. Right now, though, he looks thoughtful. Perhaps a little lost.
I don’t like it.
I clear my throat. “Come on, let’s catch the tram back.” I start speed-walking towards the closest tram stop, which is already busy with people.
“You don’t want dessert or anything?” Lucas calls from behind me.
I shake my head. “Can’t have you ruining your diet,” I say.
“I don’t mind—”
“It’s fine. I’m tired anyway.”
Lucas falls into step beside me. Him and his stupid long legs. “Alright,” he says after a beat.
Soon after we arrive at the tram stop, the tram arrives. It’s already half-full, and it becomes even more packed as we get on with the rest of the crowd. I snag a seat, but Lucas isn’t so lucky, and he is forced to stand in front of me.
Should I offer my seat to Lucas? No. We’re not best friends now or anything.
The tram moves, and Lucas involuntarily swings forward but quickly corrects himself before his crotch smashes into my face. Which is good. But then my attention is unfortunately brought to the fact that Lucas’s crotch is right before my eyes. I look at the zipper on his jeans. The creases of denim.
Like most childhood friends, I saw Lucas naked when we were young. We’d have bubble baths together. Things changed when puberty started, of course. Sometimes we’d get changed in the same room, the way we had for years, and while I didn’t really care, Lucas was suddenly awkward about it, always averting his eyes.
And in high school, I never saw him naked ever.
Okay, these are weird thoughts. But I can’t help it! Lucas’s crotch is right there! My mind automatically wonders what’s under his clothing. It’s just curiosity.
I glance up and want to kill myself when I find Lucas watching me. How long has he been watching me stare at his crotch? Fuck.
Surprisingly enough, he doesn’t look amused or annoyed. Instead, his lips are a straight, tight line, as if he’s gritting his teeth.
Looking up at him looking down at me… If he wasn’t wearing his clothes and my head was just a few inches closer…well, it’d be like I was giving him a blow job.
The thought makes my stomach clench. What would it be like to suck Lucas off? Well, for one, he’d stop looking so goddamn smug. Not that he’s acted that way tonight, strangely enough. But if he was acting superior, if he was giving me shit, blowing him would shut him up. It’d make him helpless.
