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“Maybe I’m favoring you because I know your family.”
“You hate my family.”
“I don’t have a beef with your father,” I pointed. “Maybe I’m favoring you because he’s big in business.”
She held the tears back as she took a deep, shaky sigh. “I am my own person, Matthew. I’m not going to be defined because of who my father is and the mistake my brother made. I’m not a bad person and I’ve made big choices because I didn’t want to be told what to do, and who to become. I’m in fucking Florida, for God’s sake, because I didn’t want to be like them.”
I stared at her, and there was no trace of anger there. Only pain.
I dismissed Reagan without giving her a punishment. Maybe it was because of the guilt I felt for being so angry with her. Because when I watched her leave my office, I regretted everything I had said to her.
Chapter eighteen
Reagan
Two days had passed since the incident in Matthew’s office and I had allowed myself to stop thinking about him. I hope that maybe if I freed my mind of him, I would realize that I was not falling for him after all and it was nothing but sex. Just like we had agreed on.
But for the two days after I started staying clear of him, of deliberately hiding in hallways, and taking the stairs, my boss turned out to be a very difficult person to forget.
It was like my body was seeking him, craving his warmth and taste. I tried my best to distract myself by cleaning the rooms, the pantry, and the closets. But I jolted every time I would hear footsteps and I knew I said I was avoiding him, but I yearned for those footsteps to be his. Each time I was proven wrong, I felt disappointed.
This proved my feelings to be true and that perhaps, despite the casual sex and Matthew’s general politeness, there was such thing as soul ties. Maybe sexual intimacy could lead to real bonds that went beyond the physical and could eventually influence emotions.
I also realized that I was screwed because Matthew didn’t feel the same way, and I knew I needed to do the hard thing and start moving on. Even if it was easier said than done.
But I had come to realize that the universe has a wicked sense of humor. I was usually a sucker for it, in the front rows crying in laughter. But right now, I was nowhere near smiling as I was cleaning one of the honeymoon suites on the tenth floor, fluffing the pillows when I heard the door creak open behind me.
“Hello, Jellybean,” Matthew’s voice sent a shiver down my back, and it jolted me up , straightening my posture as I slowly turned to face my boss.
Oh, how I had missed this man. I wanted to run and throw my arms around him. I wanted to feel his warm hands on me and his lips against mine. But I stopped myself because Matthew had made it perfectly clear that he didn’t want me. That he hated him more than he could ever like me.
“What are you doing here?” I snapped, turning my back at him and returning my attention to the bed I was making. Then I heard him lock the door and a wave of panic hit me.
He must have sensed it because he said, “Relax. I’m not going to hurt you.”
“Said every serial killer,” I pointed out, not daring to bring my attention back to him because I heard him take a step closer to me, and I could feel his eyes lingering on my skin. “What do you want?” I asked again.
“Here,” he said. When I turned, I saw he had bought me another iced coffee. I frowned, glaring at him. As tempting as that looked, my pride wasn’t having it.
“You can’t buy my submission with that, Matthew,” I whispered. My plan was to be unbothered, to not show Matthew how much his words affected me. But then I knew how unsettled he was going to be if he saw how evidently pissed I was. And I guess it worked.
“It’s a peace offering,” he pointed, bringing the venti-sized drink in my direction, shaking it to tempt me with the goodness of the creamy, cold caffeine. “Take it or I’ll have to throw it away.” The thought was offensive. So I took it and drank. The coldness of it hit home in my stomach.
“What are you sorry for exactly?” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“For what I said to you that night.”
“Which is…”
“That you were mere collateral to my situation with your brother. That wasn’t the truth.” He took a deep breath before he walked past and sat on the bed. The one I had just fucking made. I wanted to complain but didn’t because the need for me to listen to what he had to say had won. “But I’m not going to apologize for what I said about your Ryan. I just vow not to talk about him like that in front of you—hell, I promise not to talk about him at all.”
I rolled my eyes at his last statement. “What’s the truth exactly?”
He didn’t hesitate to say it. “I didn’t think about the aftermath of what I did. I had tunnel vision and at the end of that tunnel was making Ryan pay.”
“And how did it feel after you learned that he was sent to jail?”
“Like a million bucks,” he gave a cold chuckle. “For like a day, anyway. It wasn’t worth it, I realized. Which was why I didn’t tell anyone about him and Paige.”
