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Ultimately, it doesn’t matter what I want, because what I want is a drop in the ocean compared to how many people’s lives will be ruined if I get what I want.
All this time, I thought what I wanted was to rise up in the ranks at the firm. To secure the promotion I’ve been working toward for years.
But as I sit on the floor, letting the cool tile quell my pounding heart, the truth is settling in. What I really want is Nick Weaver. I want him as the father of my child, as my partner, as my lover, as the one who makes my world feel less lonely.
Chapter 22
Nick
Almostaweektothe day after that perfect afternoon with Blair, I step out onto the sidewalk in front of Quinn, Jacobs & Cowdery and look up at the building.
“An hour, Mr. Weaver?”
I turn back to Lee, my driver, and nod. “Yes, that should be fine. I’ll text you if it’ll be longer.”
He gives me a grateful nod in return and closes the door, walking around to the driver’s side. For a moment in the calm of the morning, I reflect on how quiet my life is. Despite the size of the house in the country, I employ only a small staff of five – including Lee. And I treat them more like family than employees.
Lee is grabbing a birthday present for his 5-year-old daughter while I’m at the firm. A thrill goes through me at the thought that I’ll be a father soon, too. And if things with Blair keep going the way they have been, I’m hoping she’ll let me be there at the birth to hold our child.
Funny how for the last few years things have been peaceful—boring even—until Blair. Until that night at The Grove, and this tangled web of business and pleasure we’re caught in.
Soon the contract will be over, though, and I can pursue her without worrying about Blair losing the opportunity for a well-earned promotion. The last thing I want to do is make life harder for her.
Blair’s intern shows me into her office and explains that Blair stepped out for a moment. I choke down a rush of panic, asking as calmly as I can, “Is everything okay?”
What if the nausea is back? What if something is wrong? What if she needs—
“Yes, she’s just wrapping up with another client in the conference room.”
My shoulders slump in relief and I try to relax, crossing one ankle over the opposite knee. It only takes a few minutes, but eventually Blair steps into the office and closes the door, keeping a good distance between us.
That grabs my attention. I look at her closely.
She’s wearing a dress that ties around the waist, accentuating her little bump just slightly. The deep plum color makes her eyes stand out and she looks stunning. I have to fight the urge to stand and sweep her into my arms, lay claim to her again, pressing my mouth against hers.
“Thank you for coming in,” she says, too politely.
“Of course.” Now, I’m curious. My initial assumption when her office called was that the drafts were finalized and ready to be signed. But Blair walks to the edge of the room, behind her desk, and stands with her hands on the back of her chair.
She’s putting even more space between us—and obstacles. My chest starts to tighten.
“It’s not about the account,” she starts, confirming my worst fears. “But I needed a neutral place to have this conversation.”
I can’t help arguing. “This isn’t exactly neutral, Blair. This is your place of work.”
A flash of guilt crosses her face. But she doesn’t back down. Instead, she sits, smoothing her dress.
“I know it’s not ideal. I just want to…” she trails off, looking somehow sad, desperate, and thoughtful all at the same time. “I’ve been trying to set boundaries with you. And I need to be clearer because we’ve been crossing them. Both of us.”
I think of the boundaries we crossed last Friday night. So satisfying, but… had I gone too far?
At the time, that stolen kiss just before I left, and that little smile she’d given me, had me thinking we could end up together. She feels the connection between us, too, and wants something more.
“I really need you to understand that I can’t… see you.”
It’s like a punch to the chest, and I almost put a hand there, but stop myself.
“At all.”
