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“I’m afraid not. If something opens up, we’ll let you know, but –”

“Fine. That’ll be fine, thanks.” I can’t remain on the phone with the receptionist a second longer. I hang up and droop forward, resting my forehead on the steering wheel.

My new reality is hitting me hard. Without a job, that means I don’t have insurance. At least not insurance I can actually afford. And without insurance, I can’t get the treatments and medication I need to deal with my PCOS.

I worked so hard for this diagnosis. Dr. Mason was the first doctor who actually listened to me and diagnosed me with the hormonal disorder that’s given me irregular periods and persistent cysts my entire life. Previous doctors had just thrown me on birth control and told me to “Suck it up, buttercup.”

I just got my diagnosis in March.

My body has just gotten used to the new medications. I’ve been feelingbetter.

And now…

Dear God, my entire life has just been taken away from me.

I start to cry again, weeping now uncontrollably. My chest aches with worry.

I’ve worked so hard to make this life. No one tells you when you’re a kid how hard it is to balance everything. The way the world feels like it’s working against you at every turn. Doctors who were supposed to take care of you deny your pain. The government that is supposed to protect you casts you aside the second it deems you unworthy. The job you fought to get decides it no longer needs you.

And all the while you’re still a person who bleeds and cries and has to survive.

Why is it so fucking hard to survive out here? And when will I catch my break?

I wrap my arms around my body, giving myself the hug I so desperately need.Breathe, Jude, breathe. You can’t drive in this condition.

The sooner I calm down, the sooner I can get back home and pretend like the rest of the world doesn’t exist. At least for a night.

Chapter 2

Chase

“Yourbeard…”

I touch my face self-consciously. “You don’t like it?”

Gram purses her lips and shrugs one of her shoulders.

She hates it.

“Tea, Gram?”

“Obviously.”

Caroline glances at me before gently teetering the teapot forward in her hand. The brown-tinged liquid streams into Gram’s cup, steam wafting upward. Gram takes the cup and immediately drinks. It’s not enough that she doesn’t take anything in her tea, no cream or sugar, but she also drinks it without allowing it to cool.

Some may call her a masochist, but Caroline and I know the truth. Gram is establishing her dominance.

Caroline pours tea for both herself and me before settling into the high back chair beside me. We watch our grandmother closely as she finishes her gulp of tea and then lets out a sated sigh. “Serviceable.”

“Direct from India, Gram,” I explain. I ordered the tea leaves expressly for this occasion. I don’t want to even talk about how much money it cost me to get black tea direct from India with three days’ notice.

“Mm. Interesting,” she says, lips curdling. Her eyes scan the room. “You need to redecorate, Chase.”

I avoid grimacing. “I redecorated only a few months ago, Gram.”

“I know, but it’s already feeling…” she sighs, lifting her hand from the arm of the chair as if she’s touched something sticky. “Stale.”

Caroline giggles. I glare at my charming, blonde sister.

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