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“Oh, I know that face.”
“Wh-what about my face?” I say, rubbing my hand down my cheek.
Gram pats my shoulder kindly. “You’re scared. Only natural. But I can assure you, dear, it’s clear that you’re made for motherhood. I promise you that.”
My chest tightens. “You think so?”
“Oh, I know so. And I don’t mean just because you’re a woman. Although, I have to say, I don’t quite understand women who don’t want children. I don’t know where the hardwiring went wrong there, but…” She glances up at Callum. “You have tenderness built into you. And you may not think it, but I was tender with my boys. Tender with my grandchildren too. That’s the most important thing, I think.” Then she narrows her eyes. “And a little bit of good-natured fear.”
I try to laugh.
“Not to mention, you’re a teacher. I mean, you are entirely sugar, spice, and everything nice.” Gram pats my cheek. “Now, how about a cup of tea and –”
“I’m afraid I can’t stay, Gram. I have to deal with some preparations for the wedding. I mean, it’s only a week and a half away and –”
“What is it? Surely we can send someone else to deal with it.”
I shake my head. “My family. You know, they’ve got their own hang-ups and I just want to make sure everyone’s on their best behavior for the day.”
“Mm. Whip them into shape, yes, that is good of you. Well, fine, but you must come back. Tomorrow. I want to talk about your responsibilities after the wedding.”
“My… responsibilities?”
“Yes, all Gladstone’s have responsibilities. It’s a duty. You understand, right?”
The worddutysinks in my belly like a stone. “Yes… I understand.”
“Good, good. You run along then now.”
I leave without another word, walking through the house as slowly as I can when in reality I want to run.
I’m not afraid of having duties to the Gladstone family. I’m not afraid of my life changing.
I am afraid I won’t be able to fulfill that change.
Now that Chase and I are really pursuing something, albeit all screwed around and upside down, there’s potential for a future between us.
A forever.
Little Jude dreamed of this. Of Chase loving her and making her a Gladstone. It was all she ever wanted.
She’d go from the black sheep of her own family to the lauded artist in her new one. She’d be the quirky one. Painting all the time, organizing her newest exhibition, while her husband cheered her on each and every step of the way. And in every fantasy, there were undoubtedly little feet stampeding across the floor.
Four sets of them to be exact.
That was a fantasy though from a girl who didn’t even know what sex was at the time.
And, yet, this girl is a woman now. And I haven’t yet been able to shake the sadness that my life isn’t like the daydream at all.
For one, everything with Chase has been backward from the beginning. I’m not prideful enough to act like it’s not my own fault, but still. I never anticipated getting to this point. On top of this, I’m being welcomed into a family based on a lie.
And the icing on the cake, those four sets of little feet (or even one set) are a pipe dream.
Maybe this was all a mistake in the first place.
I hyperventilate my way through the front hall. There are tears pricking my eyes. I need to be alone before I can let them fall. Not sure how strong I am right now to be able to keep the truth all to myself.
However, as soon as I open the door, I’m stunned to come face to face with Chase.
