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I try to stay focused on the task at hand. Kneel. Hips. Hands. Waist. Cock. Pussy. In. Out.
I’m dissociating as I thrust into her. Which is a shame, because Jude truly is a vision, her hands grabbing at the headboard as I shift her hips back and forth onto my lap.
I’m not feeling anything. I’m stuck in a spiral.
At best, it is convenient that Jude and I have found a connection amidst a fallacy. A true sprig of love that both of us seem willing to water. To let grow.
But it is only a sprig. It is only the beginning.
To put it under lock and key with something as serious as a marriage so quickly… could crush the sprig before it is able to thrive. How long can we really live in this lie? The rest of our lives? At least the rest of Gram’s life? Knowing how stubborn she is, she’s going to outlive us all. If we have to hide the truth our entire lives, won’t it eventually break down?
Itwon’t break down.
Iwill.
“Oh my fuckingGod,Chase.”
I find myself smacked in the face by reality as Jude moans my name. My cock is angry, hard, beating toward pleasure faster than I know what to do with after having been totally zoned out.
Jude grabs a pillow, presses her mouth into it, and lets out a moan that warbles with each pulse of my hips. A desperate keen. Her ankles lock around me, dragging me as deep as I’ll go, without much room to slide in and out.
“Jude, I might –” I don’t want to come inside. I can’t come inside. My mind is too all over the place to even think about the possibility, however slim, of getting Jude –
“Please, please, please!” she begs. Sounds like she’s crying. “Feels so good.”
How am I supposed to pull out when she’s pleading with me? When her voice sounds so fucking good?
Instead, I double down. Harder, faster. My teeth clenched, my jaw tight, my breath coming fast and hard until one final thrust pushes me over the edge. My spine snaps back and I gasp.
I spill inside her.
Jude joins me, wailing into the pillow. One of her hands fumbles around until her fingertips land against my lower abdomen. Her touch is searing. Like she’d pull my skin off if she could. Her body needs me.
I slide out and collapse onto the bed beside her, rubbing my hand over my chest. My heart is beating so hard I’m afraid it might explode. I close my eyes and immediately have a vision of me leaking out from between her legs. My eyes shoot open.
This is what Caroline warned me against, wasn’t it? The cold feet?
Except she could never have fathomed the true circumstances of the situation.
The lies we’ve been telling. Not just to others, but to ourselves.
Jude turns over and curls around me. I meekly slide my arm around her waist. She distributes some sweet kisses to my neck and jaw, before nuzzling into me tighter. “I can’t wait to marry you.”
“Really?” my voice squeaks.
“Of course.” Jude sighs contentedly. “And not just because of the insurance.”
I try to laugh. It’s a pathetic attempt.
Jude lifts herself up with the last bit of her energy and looks at me in the eyes. Her smile is so sweet. So kind. So loving.
Fuck.
“Is it crazy that this might actually work?”
“W-what do you mean?”
She shrugs, head cocking away bashfully. “Like maybe the contract will be a total moot point if we… actually want to be together. Maybe. I don’t know.”
