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Chase merely nods.
The only thing that would make this situation worse would be if I was having a PCOS flare.
I step into my spot across from Chase, forgetting to hand off my bouquet to Caroline until she taps me on the shoulder and grins wildly at me.
I feel like I’m in some sort of children’s storybook. Everyone I know and love is turning into strange characters I’m not sure how to interact with.
“Take her hands,” Chase’s best man, his college buddy, Franklin, encourages.
“Oh, yeah.”
All the guests chuckle.
I’m going to be sick.
Chase takes my hands, running his thumbs over my knuckles softly. “You look beautiful.”
I finally am able to look at him again after being ignored the entire way down the aisle. Little girls dream of that moment.Idreamed of it. And he couldn’t even look at me.
“You look beautiful too,” I say. I mean it. Chase’s beard is trimmed perfectly, hair swept back, blue eyes somehow bluer than any time I’ve ever seen him. And his tux is perfect. “It didn’t rain,” I say, trying to remain upbeat.
Only one side of his lips gives into a smile.
The ceremony begins. I don’t listen. It’s taking everything in my power to remain upright. My legs are Jello. And it’s not because Chase looks so handsome.
It’s because something has changed in him. And I don’t know what I did to cause it. Perhaps nothing. However, it’s hard to believe after the night we had together that he would suddenly… shut down. Shut me out.
I nibble on my lower lip and stare at his corsage. What could I have said or done to make him change his mind?
Chase’s hands begin to shake. And he’s sweating. I wonder for a moment if he might be ill. We had oysters at the rehearsal dinner. Maybe they were bad?
Suddenly, he yanks his hands from me and pulls a handkerchief out of his pocket to dab off his forehead.
I glance over at Gram in the front row. Her brow is furrowed as she waves her fan.
We’re not selling it. I didn’t think that would even be a problem, but –
“I’m sorry,” Chase says. “I’m sorry, can you just stop?”
The officiant snaps her little portfolio closed and looks at me worriedly.
Fuck.
“I’m sorry,” he repeats. And then, once more, with his eyes on mine. “I’m sorry.”
“What are you doing?” I ask, lips trembling.
Chase grabs one of my hands again and steps so close to me I can feel his breath and see each and every bead of sweat on his forehead. “Listen to me, Jude. I love you.”
Those three words send a lightning bolt through all the pain.
“But I can’t… do this…”
“What? Why?” I reach for his cheeks. “Chase –”
He rips himself out of my grip and holds his hands up, turning to the crowd. “I’m sorry y’all came out today for this. But I have to tell you –”
My shoulders tense.No.
