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Mace put his head on his knees. Crew side-eyed him then turned to me. “He tends to get a little belligerent when he doesn’t feel well or if he gets injured. He’ll go in the machine if I tell him to go in the machine, but what his body is telling me is that he needs a nap. I’d bet, if he got some rest, his fever would go down and he’d be fine. Meantime, I’ll fly us home.”
“No.” Mace opened his eyes. “I don’t want to go home right now. I don’t want to be this sick with everyone knowing it. I want to be able to fall apart a little bit with only you, Ransom, and Gunnar knowing. And Raven. I don’t want the entire contingent of Super Soldiers here to know my business.”
Maybe the lack of privacy could be an issue for them on occasion and wasn’t just my concern? “We can stay here a little bit longer, can’t we?” I asked Crew, and he nodded before he got to his feet. “My headache is long gone. I’m going to go hunt us some dinner. I won’t be very far. Minutes at most, and I can be back even faster, if needs be. Just call my name. In the meantime, Mace, you try to rest. Raven speaks for
me until I get back. If she gets too worried about you, she’s going to tell you to get into the machine, and you’re going to do it.”
With that, he nodded at me before he bent over to kiss me. The quick brush was light but full of heat. “I’ll hear if he gives you any trouble, but I don’t think he will, because he’s as crazy about you as I am.”
Crew went back into the ship and came out with a weapon I hadn’t seen before—likely his tool for hunting.
“You can’t be comfortable on the stairs. There’s a bed inside.”
Mace leaned his head against my shoulder, closing his eyes. “I like it out here. Sunshine and Raven. That’s all I need.”
If he felt as bad as I imagined, he would need more than my shoulder and the sunshine to recover, but within seconds, I heard his snore. I didn’t blame him for not wanting to get in the med machine if the sex depriving machine made him so sick upon cessation.
Time ticked by, marked by the buzzing of insects and the gentle stir of the breeze as he snored on my shoulder. I reveled in the few stolen moments of quiet. I never had much time to myself before, which made the entire trip feel like a vacation of sorts, even if Mace felt poorly.
“Could you?” He lifted his head, his gaze not clear when he spoke to me. His eyes were all kinds of hazy in that moment. I touched his cheek. He didn’t feel hotter, but he must be having some kind of fever dream. I might not be able to tell. My fingertips weren’t an exact science.
I tilted my head. “Could I what?”
“Could you love me like you love Crew?” He blinked. “Like what we talked about?”
I shook my head. We’d had no such conversation, and no one had ever used the L word when talking about or to me. I loved Stone and Amias, but I never said it and neither did they. I hoped they said it to each other. The big L was a dream.
Touching his cheek, I smiled at him. “When did we talk about such things?”
“On the big blue cloud.” He blinked rapidly, and I smiled at him. His words confirmed my thoughts about his delirium—he wasn’t awake.
Mace leaned over as if he intended to snuggle into deeper sleep. I didn’t mind, but not on the steps. Especially not if he needed as much rest to recover as Crew needed. “No,” I took his hand. “Inside. Come on.”
He didn’t fight me, so I led him to the bed. When I would have backed off, he drew me to him, pulling me against his chest as he sprawled across the mattress. I wasn’t tired, but I lay there until he was settled and snoring again. Then, as gently as I could manage, I slipped out of his hold. He didn’t budge and kept dreaming. I hoped the deep sleep meant he was detoxing from the years in that machine.
Why did they stop these men from feeling sexual urges? Were they so afraid they couldn’t control themselves? Or were they easier to control if they were contained? Or were they afraid they’d hurt others? From what I knew of the worlds, few would care if they hurt women regularly like Lightning Man . In our society, it would be accepted rather than abhorrent behavior.
No, it had to have been about control.
So why did the men continue to take the meds once they were free? Maybe they didn’t trust themselves?
Well, I trusted them. I’d seen the worst of the worst. Whatever they did before, it wasn’t who they were anymore. They were trying to keep babies safe, to help people have comfortable, safe lives. No way did they need the machine to make them good people.
Without anything to do to occupy myself while Mace slept and Crew hunted, I began making an inventory of all of the belongings we “inherited” from Lightning Man. Although Crew went out to obtain food, some here would suffice as well. Besides that, I also identified clothing, medicines of some kind, and papers I couldn’t read. I made the items into piles, sorting, straightening and otherwise picking up the space to make it more comfortable.
Mace made a sound, and it wasn’t a good one. Pain. I knew it well because I’d heard it many times when I tried to help people in the past. He moaned again. And again. I put my hand on his forehead. Actually, he was cooler than before, implying his fever had abated. That was a good thing.
Faster than I could have imagined, Mace thrashed on the bed. He swung his arm back and I would have taken a fist right in the face if he hadn’t been grabbed before he could make contact.
Ransom stood next to me. How had he gotten there without me noticing and so fast? His dark eyes were serious, his beard slightly longer and thicker than the last time I’d seen him. He held Mace’s arm easily, smiling a half smile down at Mace. “Easy, brother, you don’t want to hit our girl. Not even in sleep. I know you’d never forgive yourself.”
Mace continued to roll around and then darted up, launching forward. I was right in the way until I got swung aside—this time by Gunnar, who yanked us both backward to avoid the blow. In the meantime, and as fast as Gunnar moved, Ransom pushed Mace down on the bed.
“Easy, Brother. Come on. Just dreaming. You’re safe here. And you don’t want to hurt anyone. Don’t make us tie you down.” Ransom positioned himself on the bed until he was behind Mace, holding him against his chest, like he spooned him from behind. It really was very sweet. Ransom lifted his head to regard me. “He’ll hate this, but it’s the safest way to keep him here without tying him up, which I think he’d hate more. He’s always convinced he’s too dangerous and too broken, so we’re just going to lie here and never mention it again.”
Gunnar nodded. “Not a word. Just glad we got here before he did something he’d regret. Who knows what battle he’s fighting right now?” Gunnar let me go, running his hand down my arm with a soothing stroke of heat as he did. “I am so sorry I let you get taken.”
“You got zapped with lightning. I’m just glad you didn’t die. Don’t think of it again.” I hugged him. “Thanks for showing up just in time.” I turned toward Ransom on the bed. “Both of you. Crew is hunting.”
