Page 9 of Uncivilized


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“What are we supposed to do when someone cries?” Gunnar asked Mace.

“I don’t have any idea.”

I shook my head trying, and failing, to stop myself from crying. “Nothing. You don’t have to do anything.”

Pressing my head against my knees, I gave in to the need and just cried because I had to—because the shut-off valve for my tears was broken, and I’d never be able to stop them until they stopped themselves. A strong hand touched my back, rubbing gently in circles. A few seconds later, Gunnar tugged me into his arms.

I shook my head to tell him he didn’t have to hold me, but it was pointless. I couldn’t get the words out, and with my head pressed against his chest, I stopped trying. Mace scooted close, and like earlier, they pressed me between them.

After that, I wasn’t really sure what happened. The pressure felt good, stabilizing somehow. Maybe I slept or just left mentally for a while, but it was Crew’s return that brought me back to myself.

“She okay?” His voice was low.

“You woke her.” Mace answered in an equally soft voice. He rubbed my back. “Go back to sleep, Raven. It’s just Crew and Ransom coming home. You’re fine. Go back to sleep.”

The bed dipped, once, then twice. I would have lifted my head, but Gunnar kept his hand to the back of it, holding it against him. I closed my eyes again. His heart beat slowly, steadily in my ear, like it could be trusted to never stop beating.

But I knew that wasn’t true. Sometimes the enhanced lost their heartbeats. Sometimes they died.

A sob reared up again. How did I even have anything left to cry?

“Sshh,” Gunnar whispered.

I needed some air, and I needed it right then or I was going to throw up. I managed to somehow pull away, or perhaps Gunnar let me go because he could tell I needed to move. I jumped off the bed, once again naked without caring, and rushed toward the door.

Making it downstairs, I almost got outside before Ransom grabbed my arm.

“Here.” He shoved his shirt over my head. “Can’t go out there like that. We’re safe, and I’m ninety percent sure all the other Super Soldiers who live nearby won’t bother you. We don’t actually make sure that they all take their treatments, though, as that is their own choice. Everyone makes the same choice, because I don’t know how you live otherwise, but they might not be able to look at you without wanting you like this. I’d like to think they’d still behave, that they would control themselves, but people are monsters when it comes down to it. I think you probably know that better than most.” He visibly swallowed. “Plus, there are non– Super Soldier males living here, too. Who knows with them? Monsters come in all shapes and sizes, and not all of them were made in a lab.”

“Thank you.” Some of my nausea fled with his words, not that I could explain why.

He pointed with his chin. “If you go out the side door, there’s an awning to keep you dry.”

“Side door?” I glanced around, not sure which way was the side.

“I’ll show you.”

I followed Ransom across squeaky floors to the kitchen, a clean, dark, and currently empty room. Did they serve food there or just booze? Wasn’t it next to impossible for an enhanced to get drunk? Didn’t Amias tell me that at one point?

Not that it mattered. I followed him out the door he advised at the bar, and then stood under an awning listening to the patter of rain. I closed my eyes. The air outside was warmer than earlier, or maybe it was more tolerably dry. In any case, I closed my eyes and just breathed the scent of wet and earth.

Ransom didn’t leave my side, remaining there with me. The breeze lifted tendrils of my hair in a damp kiss, and I exhaled slowly, reveling in the sensations. With my lids closed, I couldn’t see him or what he was doing, but his presence was a comfort, and for that I was glad. Sometimes, I just needed to breathe.

Finally, I opened my eyes to look around. Darkness surrounded me on all sides, and I couldn’t see anything around us. Everything, erased by inky blackness, and I realized someone had turned off the streetlights.

“Why turn off the outside lights?” My voice sounded hoarse from all the crying. My head ached between my eyes, and all in all, I felt struck down by heavy machinery. I wouldn’t recover from the emotional outburst with just a few breaths, apparently.

Maybe it was better to not feel things. Maybe there was a treatment, like sterilization of your emotions, I could buy. It would be worth it, if just to ease the pain.

“Look up.” He nodded toward the sky. I obeyed, and sure enough, I could see the electrical storm they pointed out earlier. The same storm which kept the ships grounded until it was finished, apparently. “We turn off the lights down here so we can watch the show. If we happen to be awake, anyway. For the next six weeks.”

I never would have guessed they’d do something just for the pleasure of it, but as I watched the lightning—yellows, purples, reds all bleeding together as they danced across the sky—I could see why they would want to look at it.

It was beautiful. Deathly beautiful. Why are so many of the most lethal things the most appealing to watch?

“Amias never told me how you guys came to be here, just that I should look for you here. That this was your spot, the place where you did business and lived.” Although I’d never grasped it at the time, I now understood they lived at their business. I wondered why Amias didn’t make it clearer to me. I rubbed at my face. “Did you come here right away, after things changed?”

The light from inside the house illuminated him a little, enough that I could see him raise one eyebrow as he regarded me. “When the corporation went under, we were slated to be executed. Hundreds of us were, but Crew led us away. In the dead of night, we escaped together. We made the journey in a barely space-worthy, dingy old ship, and then yes, we made our way here. It was an all but deserted planet, with a few families here and there who didn’t bother us, so we didn’t bother them. Eventually, we came to know them, and they got to know us. Others joined us over time, and we rebuilt this town, all of us together. Everyone who came here shared our purpose, which was just being away from everyone else. If someone wants to hire us for a job only we could do, they seek us out here. Otherwise, we keep to ourselves, live our lives, sell what we make here to others, and don’t get involved in things that aren’t any of our business.”

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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