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I don’t speak because the words do nothing to fill the hole that I know she will leave behind. They are empty, and soon, I will be empty as well without her. I would like to think she feels something similar, but it’s far more likely that she simply feels awkward about so casually saying goodbye to a man who, only hours ago, was naked and in her arms and whom she will likely never see again.
Her shuttle arrives, and the other passengers start loading their baggage. She turns to me and smiles at me, and when she does, I am seized by a desire to claim her so powerful that it takes every ounce of my willpower to keep from grabbing her and carrying her off and fulfilling the legends that I refer to earlier.
But I can’t. My desire is strong, but the love I feel for her—and yes, it is love—is stronger, and I can never take what she does not freely offer.
So, I only smile and say, “I will miss you, Sienna. Thank you for the wonderful time you shared with me.”
She returns my smile, then lifts herself on her tiptoes and kisses me deeply. Her arms wrap around my neck and she holds me close for a long moment.
Then she pulls away, smiles one last time, and says softly, “Goodbye, Drake.” If there is any glimmer of hope I might feel, it is only that I can see tears forming in her eyes. This parting is as difficult for her as it is for me.
I watch as she boards the shuttle, taking my heart with her. She lifts her hand in farewell as the shuttle pulls away. I lift mine in return and watch until the shuttle disappears around the corner. I briefly consider following her in dragon form, but I know there’s nothing to be gained from that but more pain.
So, I walk into the wilderness, and when I am out of sight, I shift and fly back to the cabin. I intend to go home to my actual home, but I linger at the cabin instead, drinking in the scent of her that still lingers in the bed we shared.
ChapterSix
Expectations Unexpected
Sienna
I hate accounting.
No, I love accounting.
I hate that being an accountant has me here instead in the Alaska Range. What the hell is my problem that I moved away? Why did I do that? Why in the world did I think my dream of being a CPA couldn’t be set aside when I found a better dream? Hell, all I need is accounting software and I can do fucking accounting from any fucking place on Earth!
And accounting is an important profession, for fuck’s sake!
A good accountant is a valuable asset to any business and can contribute significantly to its success. The contribution goes beyond bookkeeping and financial record maintenance. A CPA can provide financial analysis. By assessing key financial indicators, such as liquidity, profitability, and solvency I can offer valuable insights into the company's financial health. This enables management to make informed decisions regarding budgeting, investments, and cost-cutting measures.
I can be the difference between a company succeeding and employing hundreds or even thousands of people or those people not having jobs!
Look, accounting isn’t sexy, but it can make a real difference in the world.
A good accountant creates budgets and forecasts that align with the organization's goals and objectives. A good accountant evaluates past performance, market trends, and future growth projections to develop realistic financial plans. Accurate forecasting allows businesses to set achievable targets and allocate resources efficiently.
Businesses stay in business.
Employees support their families and build retirement plans.
Damn it, it’s not a silly, boring waste of a life. It’s a great life with a purpose that affects many, many people!
A good accountant provides valuable financial information and insights to guide decision-making processes. Whether it's evaluating investment opportunities, assessing the viability of new projects, or handling mergers and acquisitions, their input helps management make informed choices that align with the organization's financial goals. A good accountant brings a wealth of expertise and knowledge to a business, contributing to its success in multiple ways.
I can impact people.
I can impact the world.
Why the fuck does it all feel like drudgery now? For three months, I’ve been at it. I have almost a dozen clients, and I’ve already helped keep one out of bankruptcy. I ensured that thirty-one people got paychecks instead of pink slips! There are people who will have a nice Christmas now instead of nothing under the tree.
Do you have any idea how often I’ve rebelled against the idea of accounting being some boring, meaningless career? Do you have any idea how I’ve defended the profession and been an adamant advocate for it. Do you have any idea how often I’ve insisted on its value and the importance it has to the world?
Why does my life feel so damned meaningless?
Of course, I know the answer. My life feels so damned meaningless because I’m here and Drake is miles away. My life feels so damned meaningless because I found meaning that meant more to me than anything else, but then I filled the trip to the tourist waystation with meaningless small talk and then bought my fucking ticket to the fucking airport and got on the fucking plane and spent two days with my fucking friend and then left fucking Juneau and took another fucking plane and ate the fucking in-flight peanuts and landed in fucking Los Angeles and got about the process of being a fucking adult.
Okay, Tara isn’t my fucking friend. She’s probably my best friend, and that means she’s not a distraction or an obstacle. She certainly doesn’t deserve to be a target of my anger even in my private thoughts. I take that back.
