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“That isn’t what I mean,” she said, hitting his shoulder.
He grabbed her wrist and bit her fingertips. “You hit me a lot, Charity.”
“Sorry. I...when I think about your past I realize that’s not an okay thing for me to do.”
“No. I like it. Because you know that I can handle it. Because you know you don’t mean to hurt me. It’s all touch, and from you, that’s only a good thing.”
“We’re married,” she said.
“We are.”
“It won’t really be different.”
He stared at her, and he didn’t quite know what to say. “I don’t know. Maybe not. I expect... Well, hell. I kind of expect itcouldbe. What do you think?”
“Change scares me so much. Because there’s been so much of it. I don’t know. I had so much of my life be the same.”
“How did you handle college?”
“Oh. Well.”
“Specifically, how did you make it out of college as innocent as you are?” he pressed.
“Well, I hung out with girls who mostly wore turtlenecks and cross necklaces.”
He laughed. A great guffaw that shook the bed. “Okay. Fair enough.”
“Also, again, I’m just very good at ignoring things that I don’t want to deal with.”
“I remember you were lonely. I remember you calling home and talking to me. I was afraid, you know. That you were going to go there and discover the joy of sex without me.”
“You already knew about the joy of sex.”
“You know what I mean, young lady.”
“Fine. I do. Ididn’t, though.”
“No. Anyway, you did something worse. You came back with the guy that you got engaged to. Man, I was pissed about that.”
“You were?”
He let out a hard breath. “Yes. I was.”
“So you were attracted to me, when we first met.”
He nodded slowly. “I told you. I worked myself into a little bit of a fixation and decided that those fantasies were of a perverse nature, and I couldn’t do that to you. So there’s that. But I still felt possessive of you. Protective.” She didn’t know. Not really. And he didn’t want her to. He wanted to keep on protecting her, while having her at the same time. “I wasn’t happy when you went away to college, like I said. I was glad you kept on calling me. I was mad you didn’t tell me about Byron. Not until you came back. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I don’t know. It didn’t feel right. It felt like he might come between us. He didn’t. Because we had a long-distance relationship. But it felt... In the end, the thing that felt the most wrong was that I could not have another man in my life that mattered more than you. I think that’s when I knew.”
“Knew what?”
“That I love you.”
“I really love hearing that.”
He leaned back against his pillow and closed his eyes. His brothers had probably said it to him. Hell, Gus had said it at the wedding. But... He didn’t take the love of another person for granted. Not ever. You couldn’t. Not when you had parents who you should be able to expect love from, but didn’t get it.
That was the thing. There wasn’t a single thing in Lachlan McCloud’s life that he took for granted. Least of all Charity, and her caring about him.
