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“I started my own graphic design business. I know. It doesn’t look like that’s what I do.”
“Is there a look?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I feel like I don’t look like someone who spends a lot of the day on the computer. The business start-up has been pretty successful. Most of my clients aren’t local. But I came back to King’s Crest until I could get money for a deposit on a house. Plus, I like being with them. They really have become my family.”
“I guess I have a hard time understanding that.”
He turned and began to walk toward the front door. She followed quickly.
“That’s a fine thing to say when it isn’t like you were there for me.”
“I would’ve been there for you,” he said, turning to her.
“ButDenverwas,” she said. “You left.”
“Not right away. You’re the one who left, Penny. You’re the one who quit going to school in Mapleton. I never saw you after you went with him.”
His voice got rough, his heart beat even rougher.
“I know,” she said. “I...” She closed her eyes and turned away from him. “I didn’t think I could keep one foot in that life. I didn’t think it would work. I felt like I had to start over.”
“So don’t go accusing me of anything. Ididleave, but not until you did. And I’m back now.”
“Why did you want me to see this? If you’re angry at me.”
“Penny, you of all people should know that being angry with somebody doesn’t mean you don’t care about them. There’s not another person in the whole world I want to see my house more than you. Maybe to show you that I was too good to leave behind. Maybe just because I’m happy to see you. You can feel all those things. I would think that you of all people would understand that.”
Because they knew what it was like to love extremely imperfect parents. To have good memories wound through a bad childhood.
“I don’t know...”
“Answer me this. If somebody offered you beanie weenies instead of a gourmet meal, don’t tell me you wouldn’t be tempted to take the beanie weenies.”
She laughed. “Okay. Why do I suddenly want beanie weenies when I haven’t had them since I was a kid?”
“Because it’s crappy food. It really is. But if you grew up on it, you still kinda want it. I figure that’s like everything else. You can have nostalgia for the rough parts of your life too. For the times when powdered orange drink was the only kind of juice you had. For drinking out of the hose. For being allowed to run wild because you were being neglected, but you made an adventure out of it. So yeah, I can be a little angry and also happier to see you than I’ve ever been to see anyone in my whole life.”
“Let’s go inside.”
CHAPTER THREE
PENNYFELTAhost of complicated feelings as she stepped through the front door of Jude’s home. This place was new. Not anything like what she associated with him and their friendship. But he was familiar. Even as the tattoos on his skin were unfamiliar.
She wanted to stop and study him. That ink on his arms. He was beautiful. He made her stomach feel tight.
Oh, that was very bad.
She’d had a couple of boyfriends in college. Really starched-shirt guys. Polo shirts. Khaki shorts. Very safe. Safer than any man she had grown up around.
But she had always told herself that there would be no bad boys for her. Because bad boys could often be very, very bad, and not in a fun, sexy way. So she’d never let herself see the appeal of tattoos, leather jackets and motorcycles.
It was just so disturbing that those things happened to be painted over the top of her childhood best friend. And if she was honest, the first man she had ever really fallen in love with.
All right, he’d been a boy then. But she had... She had loved him. He had been beautiful then, too. But he hadn’t had this edge. There had been more of a feral element to him. He had already been drinking when she’d met him when they were small children. She’d convinced him to stop. Had tried to distract him, keep him from getting himself killed.
At first, he had felt like a pet. She had thought sometimes she was the same for him. A novelty that had been as entertaining as they were companionable.
But their friendship had only grown more fierce with time.
